The Story of Rollins and Barba and her Ex Nick Amaro
by GillianLSteele
Summary: The story of how Barba and Rollins meet and more and what happens when her ex, a cop is re-assigned to SVU
1. Chapter 1 - First Meeting

Chapter 1

"Bring your daughters to work day Captain?" This was the first thing that she remembered from her first encounter with ADA Barba. From the moment she meet him she was intrigued between his cocky and cheeky demeanour and his high fashion suits. Little did she know she also intrigued him, with her Southern Accent, and why she had transferred from Atlanta SVU to Manhattan SVU. He wanted to know the real Amanda Rollins. She wanted to know the Real Rafael Barba.

After a long day at SVU, Rollins finds herself at a local bar. She is on her second beer when she hears the cocky and confident voice she had in the courtroom this morning; she looks up and sees Rafael Barba walking into in the bar.

A small smile crosses her face and her eyes meet Barba's and returns the smile and makes his way over to Rollins, taking a seat next to her. Even though she only met him this morning, there is something about him that just lures her in.

"Rough Day Rollins? She nods yes. I didn't expect to see you, little out of your neighbour no?" Says Barba. "That's exactly the point Barba, I wasn't really looking for company tonight" replied Rollins. Barba moves to get up out of his seat, Rollins put her arm on his to stop him and asks him to stay

Meanwhile back in the squad room, Benson and Tutuola are finishing up for the night getting ready to head out. Benson says "Fin, you wanna head to a bar, grab a drink? Normally Fin would be up for getting a drink out with Benson, but instead replies "I need to go and spend some time with my son, my family, see you tomorrow Liv".

Liv, not ready to head home heads to a bar uptown. The same bar that Rollins and Barba are drinking at.

Back at the bar Rollins was on her 4th beer and Barba on his 3rd scotch. They had been getting to know each other, and even though they had only met that morning, he felt comfortable in her presence and hers in his and haven't realised that they have been at the bar for almost 3 hours just talking about each other's lives, growing up and their journey to New York.

"So you transferred in from Brooklyn?" Asks Rollins. "Yeah it was a lateral move into Manhattan" he replies. "It was time for a change". "Do you know what I mean? He asks her raising his eyebrows. "I can relate" she replies. "I needed a change, I had to get out from Atlanta, hence the transfer to Manhattan", but it's not something I want to get into tonight". He smiles and putting his hand on her arm.

Outside of the bar Olivia pulls up and see's Amanda and Barba at the bar and see's his hand on her arm and she wonders what's going on. She shakes the number of scenarios going through her head and walks into the bar. Olivia walks up to the pair and Amanda sees this and immediately withdraws her hand from under Rafael's arm and motions to him to great Olivia.

At the moment Rafael wishes that Olivia hadn't walked in at the moment, ruining the moment he had with Amanda. He bought them all another round and then proceeded to head out, offering to share a cab with Amanda, leaving Olivia alone at the bar.

Amanda and Barba head off in the direction of Amanda's apartment and after a long 20 minute cab ride. They finally arrive at Amanda's apartment where Barba walks Amanda to her to door. She looks up at Barba and thanks him for the drinks and chat. "I had a really good time tonight" she smiles leaning putting her keys in the door and turns around to find Barba closing the distance between them "I had a good time tonight as well" he replies. Their faces so close they could feel their breath on each other; she bit her lip and smiled. The temptation was so overwhelming he wanted to pull her close and kiss her. Instead he pulls away and wishes her good night and heads back down stairs, leaving Amanda confused as to what just happens. She had been flirting all night with him and he had been responsive so why the sudden change. She entered her apartment, and tried to make sense of what happened tonight.

Barba headed back down stairs stepped into the cab, and went back over tonight's events in his head, analysing everything that had happened, every small details. She had been subtly flirting with him, as he had with her, and then what happened outside her apartment "Why didn't you kiss her Rafael?" He thought. "She was smiling, biting her lip; she had practically given you an open invitation, why didn't you do it?" He rubs his hands over his face. He realises there is nothing he can do to make this right, right now. He heads home continuing to replay everything that happened tonight over in his head, and apart from the ending everything had gone great. He smiled as he remembered her smile, her touch, her scent.

After the cab ride back to his apartment, he steps inside continuing to remember, her smile, her touch and scent and drifts off to sleep, smiling with these thoughts in his dreams.

Chapter 2 to come.


	2. Chapter 2 - Second Round

Chapter 2

Rollins awoke putting last night's encounter with Rafael into the back of her mind; it was a new day she thought to herself I need to focus on a new day. As Rollins heads into the squad room, she receives a call from Jocelyn Paley, their victim from the night before.

Flashback

Rollins thought back to last night when she interviewed Jocelyn with Olivia. While Rollins and Olivia were interviewing her about what had happened to her, Rollins noted the mark on her neck, Jocelyn saw Rollins staring as she moved her hand over her neck to cover up the marks he had left. Jocelyn continued to tell her story to both herself and Olivia, saying that" I wanted to have sex with him; I gave him my panties in the restaurant". Olivia replies "And then things changed". "Jocelyn nodded, tears streaming down her face. "Can you tell me what happened?" "We left the restaurant and headed back to his apartment, I got onto the bed on all fours. "I heard him take off his belt and he put it around my neck" tears streaming down Jocelyn face; "then he choked you" Olivia finishes. She nods, and says "I think he thought it was part of the sex". "Look, I'm in the middle of a 10 city book tour". "I don't want to press charges". She stands up puts her jacket on and hurries out of the emergency bay.

As the phone continues to ring it snaps Rollins out of the flashback, she answers the call "Rollins". "Detective Rollins, this is Jocelyn Paley's assistant". She continued to explain that Jocelyn was at a book promotion and clearly not coping with what had happened to her. Detective Rollins confronted Jocelyn explain that if she does decided to press charges the behavior she is exhibiting might lead a jury to question her claim. Jocelyn continues to tell them she is fine and asks them to leave.

Olivia sent Munch and Fin out to talk to Adam, trying to explain his side of the story and explains that everything that happened was consensual and when Munch questions the belt, he smiles and explains "She asked me to do that, to choke her. "If there is nothing else I have a show to do".

Later on that night Adam Caine had attended a party honoring Jocelyn Paley, toasting her. After seeing him again, she freaked out, leaving her own party to escape him. He follows her and rapes her again in the elevator, yet another chapter out of her bestselling novel "25 Acts", which leaves Jocelyn afraid and broken.

Amanda picks up Jocelyn and takes her to see Barba. She hadn't spoken to him since that awkward encounter last night, not even a text message. As they enter Barba's office, he maintains his professional mannerism even though as soon as she enters his office, her smile, smell, and presence makes him smile. "Detective Rollins; she nods, and you must be Ms. Paley. She nodded and extends her hand. Barba gets right into ADA mode. "I need to know everything about you; even things you don't think are relevant, any little detail you leave out the defence will use to blow up the case". "You may not like me when we're done" he says. Amanda smiles. Jocelyn replies "I don't like you now", he smiles. "Now your dating life in college, tell me about it"

After a grueling questioning session by Barba, Jocelyn had felt physically and mentally exhausted. Amanda was getting ready to take her home, when Barba asked for a minute of her time. She asked Jocelyn to wait outside asking for a uni to stay with her.

"Can you help you Counsellor?" Amanda asked, trying to stay professional as he had done with her earlier. "I just wanted to apologize for last night" he says. "Apologize for what?" she asks smiling. Normally the confident cocky counsellor would have no problem answering this, but the first time in a long time he struggled to find the words. "I was having a great time last night I felt so comfortable in your company Amanda. I felt like we had known each other for 10 years not 1 day" he says. "You have no idea how much I wanted to kiss you last night Amanda". "Your eyes, your smile, your presence, it's intoxicating. "But I want to get to know you better, I want to know what kind of person Amanda Rollins is".

"How about we go for drinks tonight" he asks. "And we may need to find a new bar, don't want to have my boss or your colleagues interrupting us" he smiles. "And what exactly would they be interrupting Counselor?" she smiles and asks. "Well you're the detective Rollins, I'll let you solve that one" he smiles and winks. Barba grabs his jacket and files exiting the office. Rollins follows and takes Jocelyn home. Her mind wandering to exactly what he has planned for tonight, a smile forms across her face and she giggles to herself.

To be continued in Chapter 3.


	3. Chapter - Date Night

Chapter 3

Rollins couldn't focus, she was like a love struck teenager, stuck in a day dream thinking about tonight with Barba until she heard a voice saying "Rollins, Rollins, Amanda are you there, are you okay" and she snapped out of the day dream much to her disappointment.

Time to head home and get ready for her night out with Barba. On the way home, she gets a text from Barba saying he'll pick her up at 7 at her apartment. She smiles to herself, and texts back great! I'll see you then.

Rollins continues home to get ready for tonight, Jumps in the shower and the selects a dress that isn't skin tight but one that accentuates her curves and her body in all the right places. She leaves her long blonde hair down and in loose curls, with natural minimal makeup and scented coconut smelling body lotion, one last spray of perfume and she was ready, nervous but she was ready. Then the door bell rang, he was here. One last check and Amanda heads down the hall to open the door.

In her doorway stood Barba, dressed completely different than he is usually is, in his high fashion suits with snappy suspenders and jazzy ties. Tonight he was dressed in black dress pants and a black button down with the top button open with a black undershirt with black boots. His hair with minimal product, just enough to top off his entire look. He looked amazing.

As Amanda came into full view his breath was taken away, the dress she had chosen was perfect, her hair, makeup and her perfume complemented her perfectly. It was not often that Rafael Barba was stuck for words. "You look...beautiful", he said smiling at her. "Thank you" she said smiling. Barba put his hand on the small of her back, which sent a shiver up the spine of Rollins, the good kind of shiver and asked "Shall we go?" she nods yes in response and proceeds to head down stairs to the awaiting cab.

"Where are we heading" she asks. Rafael smiled in response and says "Just have to wait and see". A couple of minutes later the cab pull ups at Nomad, a restaurant, his perfect restaurant hideaway where no-one especially his bosses or her colleagues would find them. Head inside as the waiter shows them to their table. The restaurant was a perfect mix for classic and modern New York with the exposed brick and high ceilings with a modern twist on the furniture and the bar. Much to Amanda's delight they also had a dance floor with a band playing. Amanda had loved to dance but since coming to New York hadn't had the time or had anyone to dance with. Barba saw Amanda's face light up when she saw the dance floor and asks if she dances. She says "Yes, Barba I love to dance I used to dance alot back home but I haven't had the time or had anyone to do it with since I moved to New York". Rafael smiles and takes her hand and leads her out onto the dance. "What are you doing?" she asks. "Well I thought it was quite obvious Amanda, we're going to dance" he said and smiles "Don't worry its only a slow one right now, I'll lead" he smiles and winks. She nods. They head out to the dance floor; he pulls her close so their hips and practically touching, their heads next to each, his hand on her back while their other hands are intertwined. She feels phenomenal he thought to himself and smiles. She melted into his body much to his delight; he closed his eyes and moved their bodies to the music until they became one with the music. His definition of perfect was this moment right now; little did he know she was thinking the exact same thing.

As the song ended they headed back to their table. Amanda said to Rafael "I didn't know that you could dance?" "My abuelita taught me" he replied. "She used to say that every man should know how to dance, a woman loves a man that can dance" he laughed. She smiled and said "Your abuelita was right, women like a man that can dance, take the lead".

They continued through their dinner taking breaks to get back out on the dance floor with Rafael looking forward to the opportunity to hold Amanda in his arms again and bring their bodies together to the sound of the music.

The connection between them was so intense that they both hadn't realised that while they were dancing everyone had left and the restaurant was getting ready to close. It was like everyone else in the world had melted away and all the saw was each.

Rafael settled up the bill and they hailed a cab and headed back to her apartment. "I had an amazing time tonight Rafael" "As did I Amanda" "I felt like there was no-one else there I was with you wholly and completely". Amanda smiled it had been a long time since anyone had said that to her. Rafael looked deep into her blue eyes and she back into green eyes had stroked her face, lowering his mouth onto hers and he kissed her, the tension had been building all night and finally he had kissed her. He had now gotten to taste what he had been wishing for since their first night in the bar. He kissed her deeply, yet softly and she kissed him back with her soft pink lips intertwining with his. Amanda broke the kiss and Rafael said "I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry Amanda". She looked up a smiled and said "Don't be sorry, I've been waiting for you to do that all night". They both smiled at each together and resumed what they were doing. Suddenly their cab reaches Rollins apartment, Amanda gets out of the cab and motions him to come with her upstairs to her apartment Rafael exits the cab with her and heads upstairs. She kisses him again at the top of the stairs outside her apartment as she turn around to unlock the door; he nuzzles her neck making her moan in excitement of what is to come.

Chapter 4 to come.


	4. Chapter 4 -Rollins & Barba Get Intimate

Chapter 4

Amanda unlocks the door to her apartment as Barba wraps his hands around her waist continuing to kiss her following her into his apartment. She pulls away and turns to face him and then continue kissing him, while walking further into her apartment and letting their hands explore each other bodies.

Finally after what felt like forever, their kiss broke apart and Amanda asks with a smile; kissing him on the neck in between each word "Is...this...what...you...wanted...to...happen?" He looks down at her, smiles and replies "This is what I hoped would happen, I have been wondering what you would feel like (he kisses her)...tastes like since I saw you".

His hands reach her face, her soft pale skin, he caresses her face, while kissing her deeply, she moans in response, his spare hand slips down her back taking the zipper from her dress along with it, he pushes her dress off her shoulders one at time, kissing them as the dress slips off her shoulders, and down her body, leaving her exposed in her pink and black lace bra and panty set. He smiles and continues to work his hands, his lips down her neck onto her breasts down her stomach, stopping just as he reaches her panties. Amanda's breath began to quicken, her body temperature rising, with every touch, she was in ecstasy, she craved what she knew was soon to come as Rafael reached to remove her panties, she placed her hand over his stop him, shook her head and motioned him back up to meet her. She kissed him deeply and with more passion then before, she moved her hands to his black shirt anxiously undoing each button and sliding his shirt off his body. All she wanted to do was to run her hands over his Cuban flesh, she quickly removed his black undershirt, revealing a well sculpted torso, something that his high fashion 3 piece suits hide. She smiled kissing his soft, warm flesh, his body started to quiver with her soft touch, she started at his neck, working her way down his torso just like he did with her, he closed his eyes, her touch was soft, heavenly and lips were so soft and supple, he closed his eyes taking everything in, taking her in. He felt her hands remove his belt from the loops in his pants, open the button and unzip the zipper and she removed his pants, she smiled as she tried to remove his boxers, he stops her and suggests they move this to bedroom, she stands and motions Rafael into the bedroom, he smiles and picks her up, his hands cup her ass as she wraps her legs around his torso, he continues kissing her neck as they make their way into the bedroom.

The head into the bedroom and Rafael lowers her down onto the bed, she moves her hands to remove her bra, Rafael stops her, kisses her neck working his hands around her back to unclip her; letting it fall to the ground, cupping her breasts and as he tastes her hard nipples in his mouth, she moans wanting more as Rafael complies, taking her other nipple into his mouth, sucking on her nipple, massaging her breasts until her nipples become hard, she asks Rafael to pinch her nipples while he massages her breasts. As he works his way down towards her panties, he admires her well shaped body, curves in all the right places, her soft supple skin. He slowly pulls up kisses her stomach and looks her in the eye, she realises he's asking for permission, "That's cute" she thought, she smiles and gives a slight nod. Rafael hooks onto her black and pink panties and pulls them down her shapely thighs, she needed to encouragement as her legs parted allowing Rafael to become intoxicated with her sweet aroma as he lowers his head in between her thighs, parting her lips slipping his tongue into her. As soon as his tongue is inside her, he begins to move it up and down, slow at first, getting faster and faster as he finds her sweet spot, she moans, running her hand over her nipples, she reaches down running her hands through his hairs, moaning "mom...more, please more, right there, Rafael, please don't stop, don't stop, right there", he picks up the pace, going faster and deeper, she moans in ecstasy, they both felt her body stiffen, her back arches, her breath quickens "I'm cumming, I'm cumming " she screams, as Rafael digs his tongue deeper into her wetness as she orgasms. As she comes down from the ecstasy she has just experienced, their lips meet and she tastes herself on his lips. She pushes him down onto the bed, working her way back down his body she pulls down his boxers to reveal his impressive quivering member. She smiles taking him in her hands, rubbing his shaft up and down, watching per-cum drizzle out, Rafael groans, she smiles, licking up the pre-cum as she takes him into her mouth. She works her mouth up and down his shaft, making him moan and groan, he strokes her hairs and she continues to work her way up and down his member. She feels him getting harder inside her mouth and she starts to pick up the pace, as she continues to pick up the pace, she feels his body stiffen, he tried to withdraw from her mouth, but she stops him allowing him to cum in her mouth. "That was incredible", You are incredible" She swallows his cum and comes up to kiss him, he tasted himself on her. This was new for him but he enjoyed it, on some level he found it quite sexy.

She broke their kiss and laid back on the bed, Rafael followed instantaneously, grabbing a condom and climbing on top of her like a lion going after his prey. He nuzzled into her neck, as she spread her legs as he guides himself into her. At first Amanda struggles to take in all of him at first, he takes it slow, entering her deeper each time making her moan longer as her muscles worked to accommodate his large tumescents. As he worked his way inside her, finally Amanda was able to take all of him in, her breathing was coming ragged and fast, he starts to work his way in and out of her slow at first and the getting faster and faster. Amanda whispered into Rafael's ear" Please fuck me harder" he smiles and picks up the pace even faster, she digs her nails into his back as she continues to build to another orgasm, her breathing starts getting faster, she brings her heels up towards to her ass as he continues to pump into her, her body starts to twitch, her muscles clamp down onto him she digs her nails deep into his chest, her back arches as she feels her orgasm rippling through her body.

Afterwards he leans downs and whispers in hear ear "I want to see you" while still inside her he rolls her so she is straddling him, he couldn't believe he had this beautiful woman straddling him, he started to move his hand up and down her body stopping to massage her breasts, he pulled her close and started pumping in and out of her, he could feel himself pushing harder and fastener and with no argument from Amanda, he continued he suddenly felt her push off him rising into an upright position and starting to ride his cock harder and faster. He put his hand on her hips as their two bodies melding together as one, climbing to the orgasm they both knew was coming, suddenly Rafael starts stiffening "Oh Dios Mio!" "I'm cumming" Amanda starts twitching he knew she was on the edge, he started pumping into her and they orgasm at the same time making it electric. It was like they were one person. Amanda falls into Rafael's chest, still completely out of breath from incredible orgasm they had both experienced. " You are incredible Amanda" Rafael says in between breaths , she looks at him and winks and says "You're not too bad yourself Rafael", She snuggles into his sculpted torso, and the drift off to sleep smiling, dreaming no doubt about what they had done tonight.

Chapter 5 to come.


	5. Chapter 5 - Rollins Ex- Nick Amaro

Chapter 5

As the sun shone through the curtains and hit her alabaster skin she writhed against Rafael who was still asleep, slowly opening her eyes and snuggled into his torso causing him to stir as he looks down at Amanda and smiles "Buenos días Hermosa", "Mmmm, good morning" she purrs. This was the definition of a perfect moment, wishing he could just bottle this moment, and then the alarm rang out causing reality to come crashing down.

Amanda slid out from Rafael's embrace wrapping a towel around her and heading into the kitchen. Rafael stared at her as she moved from the bed into the kitchen "She is so _guapa"_ he thought, suddenly she popped her head around, smiled, and asks 'Coffee?" as she holds up the coffee pot, he nods in the affirmative as he slides out of bed, putting on the pants that had come off so quickly the night before and wanders into the kitchen, wrapping his hand around her midsection kissing her neck which causes her to lean back into him and she pours 2 cups of coffee. "Settle down Romeo" she says, we both have to make it into work at some point today". In between kisses Rafael says with a cheeky smile "How about we take the day off, go back to bed and spend some more time to getting to know each other". She turns to face him and says "As much I would love to do that, I think if we both called in sick it would set off some alarm bells, don't forget we are dealing with a bunch of detectives, then Fin would come over to check….." as she continues to ramble on and work herself up. Rafael stops her mid -sentence with a kiss and says "Amanda, it's okay" and smiles. "You go and have a shower and I'll cook breakfast", she kisses him and heads into the shower as Rafael gets started on breakfast.

As Amanda exits the shower she can smell, bacon, eggs, tomato salsa, avocado and fresh coffee coming in from the kitchen. "This smells great, who taught you to cook like this?" she asks. "My _abuelita _taught me how to cook, I used to love helping and cooking with her". "Sounds your "_abuelita _taught you a lot of things" she teases. He smiles and chuckles. Amanda finishes her breakfast and gets ready for work as Rafael washes up and gets dressed. "Rafael, I think if you go to the office in yesterday's clothes the rumour mill would start". "Are you trying to tempt me into doing this or out of doing this Rollins?" He says with a cheeky grin. "Come on, come on, I have to go" she says, waving him to the door. He gathers up his things and heads out the doors and down the stairs. They walk down the stairs and exit the building. "So" she says, "I want to see you again Amanda" Rafael says. "Tonight?" she says and smiles. "I'll call you" he says as he hails a cab and heads back to his apartment.

Amanda walks into the squad, feeling happier than she had in a while and it didn't go unnoticed. Fin was about to enquire as to why she was so happy, when the captain called for their attention in announcing a new detective. "Detectives, please welcome Detective Second Grade …." as he came into view Rollins finished his sentence "Nicholas Amaro, you're a second grader already, you must have caught some big fish." she said shaking his hand smiling. "Just kissed a lot of ass". "It's good to see you Amanda" he says shaking her hand. "You two know each other "asks Fin. "Yeah we worked on a taskforce together a couple of years ago" says Amanda, notably leaving out the part that he is also her ex boyfriend. Craven continues "Detective Amaro is being modest; he took down the MS13 case". "Fin, Amaro rides with you today, get his feet wet, and Amaro, you're not on the street any more, clean yourself up" says Cragen.

Amaro couldn't believe his luck, seeing Amanda again. The only reason they broke up was that Amanda had gone back to Atlanta after the taskforce was disbanded. As much as he wanted to go with her his life was in New York. "So you how long have you known Rollins" asks Fin. "I met her a few years ago; we were on a taskforce together, conducting interrogations post 9/11" Nick replies. "So you've known her a long time then" asks Fin. "You could say that, I knew her for the time we were in the taskforce and we kind of just fell out of touch when the taskforce was disbanded, back to our regular lives" says Nick.

Nick texts Amanda on the way back from interviewing Stevie Harris, a drug addict that was arrested on a drunk and disorderly who later turns out to be a victim

"Hi Amanda, it was great seeing you again. I'd love to catch up after shift for a drink if you're free, Nick". Amanda phones beeped with the text message. She was supposed to be catching up with Rafael tonight; well possibly he didn't really confirm anything. He just said "I'll call you". She tries to call him to find out what is happening tonight, but his phone goes to voicemail, he must be in court. She leaves a message "Hi Barba, its Amanda, I just wanted to find out what was happening for tonight, give me call when you can". Amanda wasn't the most patient person; she sends a text to Barba. "Hi Rafael, a new detective joined SVU today, Detective Amaro, I know him, we used to serve on a taskforce together, he wants to get a drink together after our shift to catch up. Can you let me know what is happening for tonight? Talk soon. Amanda".

Amanda anxiously awaits a reply from Rafael. Suddenly her phone giving her a mini heart attack in the process. The screen reads "Message from Barba" she taps it and it reads "Hi Amanda, sorry I've been in court. Go and catch up with Amaro, we can talk tomorrow or later when you done. I really want to talk about last night, what it means going forward. She breathes a sigh of relief and texts back "Hi Rafael, in the realm of being honest and upfront Amaro isn't just a colleague from the task force, we used to date. There is nothing between us now, when the task force end I moved back to Atlanta and I haven't seen him for years. There is nothing between us, just two friends catching up. I want this to work between us, if you're uncomfortable with me meeting up with him just let me know.

Rafael stared at the text message he just received from Amanda. He was happy that she had considered him before just blowing off their plans to catch up with her ex, but he was not sure how he felt about it. He liked Amanda, yes, he wanted what they had to develop into something more yes, but he didn't want to be controlling over her. Rafael texted back saying "You should go, your friends and yes you dated but if you say there is nothing between you, I believe you. But Amanda I really do want to talk about what we are and where this is headed". "We will talk soon; I also want to talk about where this headed and what we are doing". Rafael smiles in response to Amanda's reply

Amanda texts Nick. "Tonight is good; we'll head to the bar straight for the squad". Nick smiles and texts back "Looking forward to it".

Chapter 6 to come


	6. Chapter 6-Rollins & Barba-A Relationship

Chapter 6

Rollins heads back to the squad, a little nervous about tonight's meet up with Amaro. It had been a long time and she wasn't sure what he thought this meant. She knew she didn't have any feelings any more for Nick, but she wasn't sure if he was still holding onto any feelings he had for her.

As the day wound down Amanda walked back into the precient looking for Nick, who walked in behind her. "Are you ready?" he asks Rollins. "Yeah, let me just grab my jacket" she replies. "We're heading out, have a good night guys" says Rollins. Amaro and Rollins head onto the bar.

Rollins and Amaro take a seat at the bar and order some drinks. You could cut the air with a knife with the amount of tension that surrounded them. Finally Amanda asks "Why is this so awkward? We were friends we used to date, it shouldn't be this awkward". She smiles and asks "So how have you been Nick, it's been such a long time since I've seen or heard from you" she says with a slight annoyance in her voice, which didn't go unnoticed by Nick. "He says I've been working UC on and off for years. I've been in Narcotics and Warrants. I have a daughter Zara". "You're married", she asks, shocked. "I was" he replies, "But we divorced, I didn't love her anymore, she took a job in LA". "I'm so sorry Nick" she says. "I am as well. I miss having someone to come home too". "But I didn't love her. Looking at her and smiles "We both deserve to be happy". "Another 2" Nick says to the bar tender pointing at their drinks. Amanda excuses herself outside to gather some perspective. "We both deserve to be happy "she thought, did he mean that he was happy with me all those years ago, is he viewing this as a second chance? She runs her hands through her hair, takes a deep breath and heads back inside.

"So Rollins" he asks. "What has been happening with you, I never thought you would leave Atlanta for New York". "It was time for me to get out of the there. Needed a change you know" "So how long have you been up here Amanda?" "Only a couple of weeks" she replied. "You seeing anyone?" he asks "I see you're still a straight shooter". "I'm not sure, it's new. We are just working out what this all means and where we see it heading". "So it's not serious then?" he asks. "I don't know yet, I mean I hope so. It's one of things we have to talk about". "So what else has been happening with you." "You know me Nick; I just tend to focus on work, if I need to get something out of my system I run it out, it gets the stress out." She chuckles (which she does when she is nervous and knows he is right) "Exactly Amanda, I know you" he said seriously; "When you're nervous, you'll focus on work, running anything to deal with you're trying to avoid. Talk to me Amanda, I care about you as a friend, whatever is going on you need to talk about it". Amanda replies "I am scared Nick. I am scared that I am going to screw this potential relationship up before it even gets started". "Amanda, you are an amazing women, a great person, you want this to work right?" He asks, she nods yes. "Then you won't screw it up". "I think you need to talk to him tonight, while this is all fresh and you won't back out". She nods in agreement. "Thank you Nick" she hugs him, turns and grabs her coat as she dials Rafael's number as she heads out of the bar and hails a cab, leaving Nick at the bar. "If you love something, you let it go" he thought. Nick finishes the rest of his drink, grabs his coat and heads out

"Barba" Rafael answers the call, not checking his caller ID. "Rafael, its Amanda". "Is everything okay, I thought you were out with Amaro." "Everything is fine, but I need to talk to talk to you, we need to talk. Can I come over or can you meet me at my apartment?" "I'm home right now, what time will you be here?" "20 minutes?" she says.

The wait for Amanda arrive at his apartment felt like the longest 20 minutes he had ever experienced. Finally there was a knock at his door and there stood Amanda. "Come in" he said as he motioned for her to come into his apartment. "What did you want to talk about, it sounded urgent on the phone". He motions her to the touch "I was out having a drink with Nick and we were talking and he asked if I was seeing in anyone." "I didn't know how to answer Rafael". He got up from the couch. "I told him that it was new and we were still working things out". "Rafael, I want this to work, I want to move forward in this with you, but I'm scared that I am going to screw this up before it even begins." "What do you mean?" he asks. "I feel like whenever something is good in my life, like what has been happening with us, I freak out and try to run….I don't know maybe I don't think I deserve to be happy or something." She looks away and from Rafael and starts to get up from the couch. He stops her, looks her in the eye and says "Amanda, I care about you. We all have things that we freak out about, but a relationship is a partnership we work with each other to help each other through. I am here for you, completely. He cradles her head in his head. "Entiendes?." "Yes I understand". She smiles and kisses him".

They lay back on the couch with Amanda laying back into Rafael with hands wrapped around her mid section with their finger intertwined, just enjoying the moment. Amanda says to Rafael "You know, that we are going to have to disclose this right, to my captain and the DA". "I know" he replies. "Can that something we deal with tomorrow, right now I just want to be here with you" she smiles and nods

Across the road from Barba's apartment in the park was Amaro, who had just watched everything happen. He couldn't believe what he was seeing, she said that this was new that it wasn't serious. It looked pretty serious from he was standing. He continued to watch Amanda relax into the arms of the other man, a man that was not him.

Chapter 7 to come


	7. Chapter 7 - Barba Meets Amaro & Photos

Chapter 7

_**Sorry about the delay inbetween chapters guys, just been a little busy**_

As Amanda relaxes back into Rafael's arms; she felt so comfortable in his arms, as she let her body melt into his. As she leaned back into him she exposed her neck and Rafael took full advantage, kissing her neck as his hands wandered her body. "You know that I need to get home at some point tonight" she says and she starts to stand up. "Maybe you don't" he replies with a smile and twinkle in his eye. "I really do I have that early start tomorrow" she says slightly disappointed. She removes his hands from her waist with disappointment, all she wishes right now was to continue to have his hands wrapped around her and she heads up towards the door, he follows up behind her, as she feels his hands take their place back on her body, she turns around and says "I really have to go Rafael, but I'm glad I came here tonight, I'm glad we are on the page about everything". She kisses him and if felt like forever. They walk down and he hails her a cab, kisses her and makes her promise to call him when she gets home. Amaro continues watching them from in the park as he watches him kiss her. "His lips on her", it should be me kissing Amanda, it should be me that gets to touch her, it should be me that comforts her" he thought. He watches Rafael head upstairs after he puts Amanda in the cab. Amaro heads out of the park, hops a cab, flashes his badge and tells him to follow the cab in front, the cab that Amanda was in. After a 15-20 minute drive, Amanda's cab pulls up in front of her building. Amaro tells the driver to stop, which ends up being around 25 metres behind Amanda's cab. He watches her exit the cab and head up to her apartment. He gives the driver his address and he heads home, lying in bed he continues going over and over what he saw tonight between Amanda and Rafael.

"I'm home" she texted Rafael. She strips off heads into the shower as she hears her phone ringing. "It's probably Rafael" she thought, she pokes her head around the shower curtain and sees Nick's name on the call ID. "He's probably ringing to see how everything went with Rafael" she thought. Amanda ignores the call and heads back the hot steamy shower, wishing Rafael was there with his hand exploring her body and kissing her skin. She steps out of the shower and heads into bed, early day tomorrow and drifts off to sleep smiling happily knowing that she and Rafael are on the same page.

Amanda's alarm goes off at 5.15am, she wanted to get in a run with Frannie before work, but getting up was rough, she just wanted those extra 10 minutes, but she forced herself out of bed into her running clothes, grabs Frannie and heads out the door to the park. About 2 miles into her run, she spots Rafael in the park in running gear, a big to change to what she normally sees him in, in his high fashion dapper suits. She stops, smiles and walks over to him. "What are you doing here? She asks. "I'm here to see run of course" he replies "and of course I'm here to see you" he smiles. "So you're here to run, lets run" she says, she winks at him and takes off. "Hold up Amanda, I don't run that often." Amanda backs off the pace and waits for Rafael to catch up to her. They slowly jog through the park, taking regular breaks for Rafael to gather his breath. As they head of the park deep in conversation Amanda spots Nick, and waves. Nick heads over towards. "Hi Rollins, just finished your run?" he asks. "Yeah, thought I'd get an early start you know" she replies. "Who's this" Nick asks motioning to Rafael. "This is Rafael Barba" she replies. "As an in ADA Barba from the Brooklyn DA's office?" Nick queries. Rafael replies "Ah yes, have we meet before Detective…." "Amaro" Nick says as he extends his hand. "Yes Amanda, was saying that you were recently transferred into SVU, but she didn't say where from" "Right, I transferred in from Narcotics and Warrants" replies Nick. "Anyway was good to meet you Nick". Rafael looks over to Amanda "Thanks for the run Amanda" she nods and he starts to exit the park. Looking back at Nick and Amanda who are still talking. "There is nothing going on Rafael" cálmese" he thought to himself."Sorry I missed your call last night Nick, I was tired and wasn't really up for talking" "Did you sought everything out with your guy?" he asks. "Yeah we're on the same page and we're going to make this work". "That's real good Amanda, I'm happy for you" Anyway I better get going, shower, breakfast, I'll see you in the squad Nick, enjoy your run". Amanda runs out of the park and back to her apartment, has a quick shower, breakfast, coffee and heads into the squad.

Barba heads back to his apartment to ready himself for the day, as he approaches the door, he sees a yellow envelope addressed to him. He picks up the envelope and heads inside, a little nervous about what is inside, he wants to know what's inside but at the same time he doesn't. He decides to head into the shower, leaving the envelope on the kitchen table and heads into the shower. 15 minutes later he heads out dressed ready to head into the office and heads out in the kitchen and there is the yellow envelope. "No point avoiding it" he thought. He opened the envelopes and it contained at least a dozen photos of himself and Amanda in his apartment. Compromising photos with Amanda laying in his arms, kissing. He checked in the envelope, there was no note, nothing to indicate who took these photos and what the person wanted who took these photos. He tried to call Amanda, her phone went to voicemail, he was probably getting coffee or something, he thought. He left a message for him to call him urgently. He tried calling another 4 times, no answer. He picks up the photos, puts them into his briefcase, grabs his coat and heads to the office. He'll try her again when he gets to the office.

Meanwhile Amanda arrives into the squad, and nods morning to Fin and Liv, pulls her phone out of her pockets and sees she has 5 missed calls from Rafael. She tells Fin she needs to step outside for a minute. "Everything okay?" he asks, she nods yes and continues outside, dialing Rafael's number. "Where's the fire" she asks. "We have a problem Amanda" he responds. "What happened?" she asks " Not on the phone, can we meet?" "Not right now, you have me worried Rafael, are you okay?" "I'm fine, can we meet for lunch?" "I'll see you then." Rafael didn't seem like the kind of guy that gets shaken easily, but something definitely wasn't right. As much and she wanted to go and find out what was wrong, she had cases to deal with here. She heads back into the squad. Little did she know Nick was listening into the conversation, even though it was only 1 sided, he knew Barba had set the wheels in motion. They were going to met, another perfect photography moment for me to capture them together again, he thought. He waits for 2 minutes and then heads into the squad.

Lunch time rolled around and Rafael and Amanda met in a diner no-where near each other's work place. Rafael was already in the diner when Amanda arrived."Nick was parked across the street in a sedan. Amanda heads over to the table and sits down. "Hi" she says, "Hi" he replies. "What's the emergency?" she asks. "When I got home from the park this morning, this was waiting for me at my door" she says as he slides the yellow envelope across the table. Amanda opens the envelope and looks at the photos, completely shocked at what she saw. "This is from last night. How? Who took these? Was there any note with the photos? "she asks. "No nothing" he responds. "But we need to be careful, atleast until we disclose to your boss and the DA, the sooner we do the better". She nods in agreement. "I won't let this break us up Amanda, we just have to be smart about us". "We will find out who sent these I promise". Nick continues to snap photos as Amanda and Rafael exit the diner together. He finishes snapping the photos winds up his windows and seals envelope marked "Amanda Rollins" and heads back to the squad.

Chapter 8 to come


	8. Chapter 8- The Disclosure- Amended

Chapter 8

On the way back to squad Amanda kept racking her brains trying to think who would have done something like this; Nick Amaro never even entered her mind. She was the last one back from lunch and everyone was waiting for her. "Sorry" she says as she takes a seat at her desk. Fin comes over "Are you sure your okay Amanda, after the phone call this morning and the way you're acting now, all quiet and squirrely, something is up" "Honestly Fin, I'm fine, you know just still settling in" she smiles. "When you do wanna talk Amanda I'm here" he replies, and he turns and leaves.

Amanda takes her phone out and texts Barba "I'm going to disclose to the captain Rafael. I don't want to keep this to myself anymore."

Rafael surprisingly texts back right away "Are you sure this isn't because of the photos Amanda, I don't want to feel like this situation is forcing you into doing this."

She couldn't hide the fact that yes it rushed a little quicker than she had wanted it to, but she took this as a sign that now was right the right. "Okay, yes Rafael it may have forced my hand a little, but only a little. We talked about disclosing to my captain and the DA, remember and now with these photos, it seems like a sign to me. If we disclose then we don't have to worry about looking over our shoulder, knowing if we are going to be exposed. Please. If you feel like I'm pressuring you into this, then we won't do it. We can pretend this never happened..."

"Stop right there, I would never want that to happen, you are not pressuring me at all. "I'll disclose to the DA this afternoon, you disclose to your captain and we can start moving forward." She smiled and texted back "Will do, I'll text you when it's done."

Rafael enters his bosses office, not in his usually confidence bordering on cocky demeanour, but a slightly nervous one. "Barba, don't stand lingering in the doorway, come in, come in" says Jack McCoy, Rafael's boss.

"What's the matter? Rafael paused, for the first time in his life he was at a loss for words.

"Well come on Barba, out with it".

Rafael blurted out "I've been seeing a Detective" "Well that's great Barba, although I don't know how she puts up with you" he laughs.

"There's more Jack. She's a detective in the Manhattan Special Victims Unit."

"Ah I see. Well Barba, you prosecute their cases, this could be deemed as a conflict of interest."

"I know this is why I am coming to you at the earliest opportunity to disclose Jack".

"Look Barba, bottom line is I trust you. As long as it doesn't interfere with your ability to do your job and she doesn't influence your legal decisions then I can't see it being a problem. Oh and Barba, don't say anything to screw this up, this is the happiest I've seen you in a long time".

Rafael smiles and thanks Jack and exits the office, texting Amanda as he exits the building. "It's done, McCoy basically said as long our relationship doesn't interfere with my job or my legal decisions then we are good to go. Have you talked to Cragen yet?" "No" she replied "I'm going in now". "Alright let me know what happens. I'm due in court".

Amanda heads into Cragen's office and see's her captain sitting behind her desk filling out paperwork. "Uh Captain, can I talk to you for a minute"

"Sure Rollins, what it is?" "Come on, out with it". "Uh I've been seeing Rafael Barba."

"As in ADA Barba?" Cragen asks as he puts down his paperwork, focusing all his attention on Amanda and she nods yes. "How long has this been going on?"

"It's been going on for about 2 weeks" she says

"Does the DA know?" he asks

"Yes" she replied, Rafael told him this afternoon

"What was McCoy's response Rollins?"

"He said that as long as it didn't interfere with Rafael's job or his legal decisions McCoy was okay with it"

"Alright, well we will follow suit then, as long as it doesn't interfere with your job here, then its fine with me".

"Thanks Captain" she smiles and walks out of the office.

"Everything okay Rollins" asks Fin "You look more relaxed".

"Yeah I am Fin, thanks "

"Anytime Rollins, give me a minute I just need to make a phone call". "Rafael, its Amanda I spoke to Captain he agrees with McCoy as long as it doesn't interfere with anything we are good to go".

"That's great, so how about a celebratory dinner and my apartment. I'll cook" he says

"That sounds great. I can't wait" she replies

"For the food or me" he says with cheeky voice"

"Both" she teases and hangs up the phone.

6pm came fast maybe it was the great mood she was in having disclosed her relationship with Rafael. She headed back to her apartment to drop some things off and then head over to Rafael's for dinner. When she got to her apartment door, she found a yellow envelope marked "Amanda Rollins" on the front that was slid partially under her doormat. She picked up the envelope and walked inside. She had a pretty good idea of what was in the envelope and she was right inside were more photos of her and Rafael having lunch at the diner, their hands intertwined. She tossed down the envelope, not thinking about it atleast not for tonight. Tonight her focus was all on Rafael.

Chapter 9 to come.


	9. Chapter 9 -Barba and Rollins Get Sexy

Chapter 9

Amanda took a quick shower, hair and makeup done. 20 minutes later she was out the door on her way to Rafael's with the photos in her purse.

On the way to Rafael's she dropped through the lab to see Melinda. "Wow Amanda, you look great."

"Thanks Melinda". "Can I ask a favour, off book?" Amanda says. "What do you need Amanda?" Melinda replies. "I found this envelope at my door, no note. I want to know who sent it."

"Amanda..What was inside the envelope?"

Amanda shakes her head and replies "This was a mistake" she says as she takes the envelope back off Melinda and heads towards the exit. "Wait" Melinda says "I'll run it to see if there is any DNA". I'll run it myself. I'll call you when I have something.

"Thanks Melinda" Amanda says as she exits the lab.

Amanda continues her journey to Rafael's apartment which is another 15 minutes from her current location. On her way she over she was struggling with whether to tell Rafael what she had done, but she didn't want to argue tonight over whether what she had done was right or wrong, she just wanted to be with Rafael.

15 minutes later she arrived at Rafael's front door and knocks. Rafael answers with a giant smile across his face. "Hola! Hermosa". He smiles "Sorry, Hi Beautiful". He kisses her and welcomes her into the apartment.

"It's all good Rafael. I find it quite sexy when you speak Spanish."

"Mmmm, really you do" he asks smiling as he pulled her close wrapping his arms around her waist, kissing her neck. "Is that the only thing you find sexy" he asks her in between kisses.

"No" she smiles.

"No, really? And what else do you find sexy. Hmmmm?" "You know I have ways of getting it out of you, you know" he says smiling, running his hands down her curves.

"Mmmm Hmmmm, I have no doubt about that counsellor, but we've got to get through dinner before we get to dessert" Amanda replies

"So then how about we have our desert first" he smiled

"As much as I would love that" she said with her arms around his neck. "I'm actually really hungry and I've been looking forward to this all day". Rafael smiled "The food Barba, the food!"

"Alright, let me finish cooking" he says

"It smells fantastic Rafael, it smells like a Little Havana in here" she said. "What are you cooking?"

"Papas Rellenas" he replies, and smiles. Amanda gives him a confused look, he replies" Basically stuffed potatoes."

"Smells great, can I help you with anything?" Amanda says.

You can grab a drink, relax and enjoy the food, that your boyfriend just cooked for you" he said.

"Boyfriend?" she asked smiling"

"Yes, boyfriend". He sat down next to her bringing 2 plates of food with him, squeezing her hand and smiling.

"Let's eat" he smiles, 10 minutes later they finish their meals.

"Rafael, that was incredible, where did you learn to cook like that?" Before he can respond, Amanda says "Let me guess your _abuelita _taught you" He nodded yes and smiled.

She started to pick up the dishes and take them to the kitchen, Rafael put her hands on her, the feel of her soft alabaster skin made him quiver. "Remember, this night is about you. Sit back, drink, relax" he smiled. He took the dishes to the kitchen, she got up and followed him into the kitchen as he stood at the sink washing up the dishes, she wrapped her kinds around his torso and whispers "Rafael, I think I'm ready for desert" he looks over his shoulder into her baby blue eyes and growls kissing her deeply and more passionately then the last time they had sex. Amanda wraps her arms around his neck and legs around his waist. With her legs still secured around his waist they move into the bedroom.

As they enter the bedroom they head straight to the bed. Rafael takes off his shirt as Amanda eases back onto the bed. "Mmmmm, very sexy Counsellor" she bites her lips and smiles motioning for Rafael to come to her, he climbs onto top of her kissing soft lips and neck. Amanda moans, whispering "More" right into Rafael's ear. He smiles and continues to kiss her neck as he undoes the buttons on her shirt, each time tracing down her skin with his fingers each time he undoes a button. Soon enough her shirt was completely undone revealing her black lace bra. "Mmmm very sexy detective, did you wear that just for me" he whispers in her ear. He reaches inside her bra and cups her breast, teasing her nipple, massaging her breast, causing Amanda to continue to moan. He used his spare hand to get rid of her shirt and started working his way down her body, her body was perfect curves in all the right places. He kissed her stomach and started to undo her belt, and whipped it out of the loops in her pants and threw it across the room. He unbuttoned her jeans revealing her black panties and slid them down her thighs and started to kiss his way back up to her sweet spot, while his hands roamed her body freely. She was in ectasy her body responded to his strong but sensitive touch, causing her to quiver everything he touched her, it was driving her crazy. He pulled her lace panties down and spread her legs and tasted her, she was so warm, so wet. He drove his tongue deeper and deeper into her, he could feel her building to an orgasm, he put his fingers inside of her, finding her spot, as he did she grabbed onto his head with one hand and the bed with her other hand and lifted her hips off the bed. She wasn't there yet though, his tongue started moving faster and faster. "Oh god, Oh god" she said as her breathing continued to get faster and faster, "That feels so good, right there" Oh yes, right there please dont' stop" "Faster, deeper" she yelled as she that feeling of eruption continued to build inside of her, her breathing continued to get faster and faster. Yes!, Yes! Rafael right there, Oh my god, yes!, yes!. "Oh god, yes" she said and she came hard, she was so wet her body was twitching and shaking from the ecstasy she had just experienced. Rafael kissed her, she could still taste her cum on his lips. Amanda undid his pants and slides them down with his boxers, revealing his member which was already hard. "Now it's your turn" she said. But Rafael stopped her and said "Your turn isn't over yet" he smiled and climbed back onto of her, pushing his cock into his tight entrance. She took it easier than she had the first time; in no time at all she had taken all of his cock into her. She was still recovering from her last orgasm. He pounded into her like a freight train. "Harder, faster, deeper" she whispered as Rafael continued to pound into her. "I want you Rafael, all of you" he kissed her deeply as he picked up the pace and continued to enter her, still so soft and wet. Suddenly her body started to contract, and he felt her walls clamp down on his cock, making it harder but so much more pleasurable. She felt her body start to shake. He kissed her and continued to kiss her deeply through her orgasm, as she came down from her high. Amanda whispered to Rafael "You are incredible Rafael, so incredible". He slid is cock out of her. "Now it's your turn" she smiled.

Chapter 10 to come


	10. Chapter 10 - Date Night 2

Chapter 10

Amanda was still recovering when Rafael flipped positions on her, leaving her straddling his hips, she could feel his quivering member against her back as his hands roamed her soft skin finishing up on her breasts. He started to massage he breasts, tweaking her nipples as his hands continued to explore her body. Amanda lowered herself until she was face to face with Rafael. "I want you inside of me Rafael", she said in between kissing his neck. "Hmmm really, is that what you need is it?" he asked, then suddenly he felt himself twitch. "It seems like you need it to Rafael" she laughed, while nuzzling into his chest.

She grabbed a condom out of the set of drawers by the bed. She used her hands to guide his quivering member into her, she felt him as soon as he entered her. This position always gave her the ultimate pleasure, her walls working to accommodate him. She finally had all of him inside of her, she loved the way he made her feel, he ran his hands around up and around her back finally landing her on her hips, she used his shoulders for support and started to move herself up and down on his length causing them both to groan. She started to get faster and faster, Rafael matching her each time, moving his hips in synch with her. She could feel herself building and building, her breathing becoming faster and faster. Rafael sensing this picked up the pace. "Oh god! Rafael. Mmmmm, more, more, mmmmm that's it faster, faster, ohhhh god" she panted, as she sat upright almost falling backwards as she felt the orgasm explode inside which left Amanda twitching as she came down from her high, she collapsed on top of Rafael, her head resting on his chest, she could feel his chest rising almost in sync.

Amanda slid off Rafael and snuggles into his side with her head resting on his chest. He looked down at Amanda she looked so beautiful he thought to himself. He ran his fingers through her hair, "you are so beautiful Amanda" he said as he looked down at her with their fingers intertwined.

"Eres muy sexy Rafael" she replied.

"He smiled and laughed "Did you learn that just for me?"

"Maybe?" she said with a cheeky smile. He kissed her.

"Creo que eres muy hermoso y sexy Amanda" he replied with a smile.

"What does that mean Rafael? She asked

"That's for you to find out Amanda" he smiled.

She snuggled up into Rafael as she started to drift off to sleep with a smile on her face. "I think I'm falling in love with you Amanda" he thought to himself. It wasn't long before he was drifting off himself, his dreams filled with what had happened between them tonight.

Rafael woke up the next morning to find the other side of the bed empty, no Amanda. Had she snuck out early this morning? It was a Saturday they had no place to be, they both had the day off, he though. He grabbed his phone and dialled her number. He could hear here phone ringing, maybe she left it here he thought? The he heard footsteps and heard her answer the phone.

"Hello" she said.

"I woke up and you weren't here, I thought you'd snuck out early?

"Well, I kind of did, I went to the market on the corner, because you have nothing in your fridge and you look cute when you sleep I didn't want to wake you. I went out and bought food for breakfast."

"You cooked me breakfast?" he said smiling"

"Yes, I cooked you breakfast, I made blueberry pancakes, I cooked bacon, eggs with spinach and cheese, toast, fresh orange juice." Why don't you come out here and check it out for youself.

Rafael pulled on a pair of pajama bottoms and a t-shirt from the drawer and headed into the kitchen. As soon as he stepped into the hallway he could smell the deliciousness coming from the kitchen.

"Morning" she said standing there in one of his button down shirts.

"Morning" he replied and kissed her. "You really are the perfect woman. I can't remember the last time I've had someone cook me breakfast or the last time I had spread like this. Normally I would just grab a coffee on the way to the office." Wait yes I can"

"Let me guess, it was probably your _abuelita _who cooked for you" she said with a smile

"Yes, yes it was but it all cuban food, we would have some _tostada _or a _cuban burrito". _

"Well sit down and enjoy." She said and smiled as she joined Rafael at the breakfast table.

Rafael stared at Amanda as they were eating, which didn't go unnoticed by the attentive detective.

"What are you staring at" she asked

"You" he replied simply with that cheeky Barba smile she had seen on more than one occassion.

She had almost forgotten how forward he could be. Why?" she asked simply"

"You are beautiful Amanda and I'm happy, you make me happy, even McCoy had noticed how happy I'd been since we started seeing each other. It's like you make all the worries and stress go away when I'm with you" he said.

Amanda smiled and got up from her seat and walked behind Rafael and started kissing his neck. "eres tan guapo Rafael" you are smart, very sexy and you make me happy" she smiled as she started to return to her seat at table, Rafael stopped her with his arm, he stood up and kissed her back her up towards the couch.

Rafael and Amanda relaxed into each others arms in the couch, playing with each others hands with their fingers intertwining.

"This is the perfect moment Rafael" she said as she looked up to him. "I wish we could just stay like this"

"Well" he said lightning the mood, "the good news is we can its Saturday and I have no plans" he smiled.

Amanda smiled and relaxed her body into Rafael's. "Definition of a perfect moment" she though and smiled.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. A familar voice that Rafael recognized immediately came echoing through the door. "Hola Rafael? Es mamá. Estás ahí?"

Amanda shot up. "Your mum is here?" she asked with a slight panic in her voice and she ran around looking for her clothes. "You better get the door".


	11. Chapter 11- Meeting Barba's Mama

Chapter 11

Rafael watched as Amanda disappeared into the bedroom. He opened the door to see his mama standing there, he smiled and hugged her. "Hola mamá, ¿cómo estás? te ves muy bien. Entra, entra en".

"Gracias, gracias. Siempre te ves tan grande Rafael" she said

"Gracias la mamá. No es que me importe, pero ¿por qué estás aquí, que normalmente llamar para que yo pueda tener todo listo para usted" he replied

"Así que ahora tengo que llamar con antelación para visitar a mi hijo, no puedo simplemente darle una sorpresa?" she said

"No mamá, por supuesto que puede. Usted sólo me sorprende que es" he replied.

Usted tiene la compañía, Rafael? ¿Quién es toda esta comida para? She asked.

Rafael looked away. For the first time in a long time his mother saw her son become uncomfortable.

"Rafael, ¿hay algo que tienes que decirme? ¿Estás saliendo con alguien? Es eso que cocinaba el desayuno? ¿Está aquí ahora?" she smiled at Rafael

Rafael smiled and nodded yes. "Oh Rafael, que es fantástico. Estoy tan feliz por ti. ¿Dónde está ella? Me encantaría conocerla" she replied.

"Un momento de la mamá" he replied and headed towards the bedroom. Knocks on the door to see Amanda dressed and ready to leave.

" So my mum wants to meet you Amanda, you are an important part of my life. I know it's quite sudden but maybe we should take this as a sign, a good sign" he smiles. "It'll be okay, I'll be right there with you" he took her hands in his.

"What if she doesn't like me Rafael" she asked.

"Trust me Amanda, she will like you. I like you Amanda, so will she, okay?"

"Mamá, esto es Amanda" said Rafael.

"Muy bonito conocerte Amanda" she replied and smiled.

Rafael interrupted mid sentence. "Amanda would you like some coffee? He asked, she nodded yes. "Mamá, ¿le gustaría un poco de café o té? He asked

"café, por favor" she replied. Rafael headed into the kitchen to make the coffee, leaving Amanda alone with his mum

"So Amanda" she said with a very heavy accent". "You are in love with my son?" she asked

Amanda stumbled for words. "Mrs Barba, I care for your son, this is so new we are still working everything out, but we are together and moving forward together" she smiles grabbing onto Rafael's hand. "Do you understand what I am saying Mrs Barba"

"Sí Amanda, entiendo" she replied. Amanda nods.

"Rafael, al contrario de lo que podría estar pensando. Me gusta Amanda, creo que es muy bonito. Sólo quiero que seas feliz. Puedo ver por la forma en que la miras que está y que se está cayendo por ella. Es sólo que no quiero verte sufrir. Todo lo que estoy tratando de hacer es mirar hacia fuera para usted. Tú eres mi único hijo, y yo quiero que seas feliz." She says

Rafael simply responded to his mother "Estoy feliz mamá" as he reached over and squeezed her hand.

'What did you just say to her?" Amanda asked Rafael

Rafael looked at her"I told her that I am happy with you"

"Felicitaciones, Ahora se encuentra la familia" she said as she hugs Rafael and Amanda. Amanda looks at Rafael to help with the translation. He whispers "Congratulations, you are part of this family". She smiles. It felt strange for Amanda to be considered part of his family, since she had lost sight of what it meant to be a family a long time ago, but at the same time it felt like the best thing in the world.

Over the next few hours, Rafael's mother sat with Amanda, wanting to find out everything about her. She had asked about where she was from, her family, why she had decided to become a pólice officer, what prompted her move from Atlanta to New York, how she met Rafael. Rafael was so happy that they were getting on really well.

"Now, I know you two haven't know each other long and I am sure you have questions about Rafael hmmmm? She asked Amanda. Amanda raised her eyebrows but before she could answer, Rafael intervened. "Maybe that's something we can ge into later yes" looking at Amanda she would sabe him. "Mamá, tal vez eso es algo Amanda y yo podemos hablar más tarde?" he asked his mum.

"Rafael, que es justo, me preguntó Amanda todas estas preguntas es justo que ella se entera de que, Comprende" she says

"What did she say?" looking at Rafael. She said you can ask her anything you want about me" he smiled.

"Well how about I ask you both together? " asks Amanda. Rafael translates; Amanda va a pedir tanto de nosotros acerca de mí mamá, es que está bien? Okay she says.

The next couple of hours, were Rafael telling her how he is a first generation Cuban American, that he grew up in Miami, he told her all about growing up as a Cuban kid in Miami, and then they moved into the Bronx, how he found friendship with Alejandro and Eddie- 2 other Cubanos. He moved up and out of the neighbourhood, leaving Alejandro and Eddie behind in the Bronx, he went off to Havard, and ended up in the Brooklyn DA's office before requesting a lateral to Manhattan. After finishing up hearing all about Rafael.

"Mama can I talk to you a second? "Si, Rafael uno momento." She turned to Amanda and said "It was so nice to meet you Amanda. I hope to see you again soon and I hope my hijo makes you as a happy as I see you make him" she smiles. " He does" she smiled, and she hugs Rafael's mum.

Mrs Barba walks over to Rafael. "Hijo, te quiero. Era tan bueno verte, tienes que venir a Miami más a menudo te echo de menos. Ahora Rafael, sé que te hace feliz. Ella me dijo que la haces feliz.

"Ella lo hizo?" he replies, she nods her head.

"Hacerla feliz Rafael, Comprende" "I will Mama" he smiled as he put his arm around Amanda she asked him what his mum had just said. "That's for me to know Amanda" he smiled and winked. She smiled as she walked Mrs Barba to the door. "Have a safe trip back Mrs Barba, it was very nice to meet you.

"I'll be back in a second Amanda, I'm just going to walk Mum down and hail her a cab" he says as he kisses her. As Rafael walks his mum downstairs her phone rings and she sees Melinda phone number flash up. Amanda thought to herself Melinda couldn't have got DNA back that fast. Amanda answered the phone" Rollins".

"Amanda it's Melinda, can you talk?" she asks

"Yeah sure, you got some results back?" she queries.

" Yes I got fingerprints from inside the envelope" she says

"So that means whoever's fingerprints are on the inside of the envelope, is the person who put the photos in there" she said

"Yes"

"Did you get a hit?" she asked

"They belong to a Detective Nick Amaro" "Do you know him Amanda?" "Amanda?"

"Sorry, yes I work with him, he must have forgotten to put who they were from". "I've got to go, but thanks Melinda" she hangs up the phone.

She couldn't believe it. Nick had sent those photos. Someone she trusted. Someone she had been intímate with. She felt physically sick. Okay, okay so Nick had sent the photos, but what does he want, what is he planning to do with them. Okay that's tomorrows problem, she just wanted to enjoy the rest of her day with Rafael.

Rafael came back upstairs. "Did your mum get off okay" she asked

"Yeah" he replied. "Are you okay you look a little flushed" he asked

"Yeah, I'm fine, just a little overwhelming that's all, you know meeting the parents" she replied.

He smiled "I know she can come one a little strong. I'm her only son….."

"It's all good Rafael, right now, I just want to be here with you" she said as she layed back into him on the couch. But she still couldn't get the fact that Nick had been spying on her and Rafael out of her head.

Chapter 12 to come


	12. Chapter 12- Rollins Confronts Nick

As Amanda layed back into Rafael's body, Rafael wrapped his arms around her and asked her what she thought of his mama. Amanda replied. "I thought she was really nice, a straight shooter when it comes to asking questions, a bit like yourself" she smiled and looked a Rafael.

"Fair enough" he chuckled. "She thought you were great though" he smiled at her.

Amanda smiled back awkwardly.

"What's wrong?" Rafael asked, picking up on her awkwardness and the fact he knew she had something on her mind. "Was it my mum?" "She asked too many questions? She came onto strong? "I knew she.." Amanda kissed Rafael stopping him mid sentence. "It's all good" she said, smiling.

"I better get going" she said, I've got a tonne of things to get done today, and now not as much time to get them done in".

"So it is my mother's fault then" he joked. 'She nods with a cheeky grin on her face.

"You know I ways of making you stay you know" he said with a cheeky smile before kissing her. "I've been told I can be quite persuasive, when I want to be" he teased as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Mmm hmm", she says and she nods. "I know you can be, but I have to go" she says as she kisses him, picks up her things and heads for the door.

"I'll call you later" he says as he kisses her goodbye.

In the cab on the way back to her apartment, she texts Nick "We need to talk Nick, are you free?" and nervously waits for the reply.

Nick's phone beeps with a text message. He checks the ID. 1 message from Rollins the screen reads. "We need to talk Nick, are you free?" He didn't have Zara. He texts Amanda back "Sure, do you want to come around to my apartment?" Amanda opens the next. "Nicks apartment?" "No, needs to be a public place" she thought. She texts Nick back. "Can we meet at the coffee place around the corner from the squad?" "Sure" he replies back. "Say half an hour? "Sounds good" she replied.

Half an hour later Amanda walked into the coffee shop to find Nick already there drinking coffee. "Hi Rollins" he said smiling. "What are you drinking?" "Nothing for me, thanks". "Listen Nick, I need to talk to you".

"What's wrong?" he asked, knowing full well it was about the photos.

"I received some photos anonymously; they were in an envelope with my name? My boyfriend got the other photos, left anonymously, no note, nothing to indicate a sender." Amanda replies, reading Nick's body language as responds and she tells him this.

"Okay what kind of photos were they?" He asked

"The intimate kind, photos that would cause alot of trouble if anyone were to ever see them Nick".

"I understand" he replies simply. "Do you have any idea who sent them?" he asked.

She lied "No, not yet, but I'm working on it. I took the envelope to the lab for processing"

"Whoa, without a case number, that could be complicated Amanda" he says

"She's a friend, its being done off book, she is doing it herself. I'll know enough who sent them. But in the meantime if you know anything or if you've received any photos or anything let me know."

Amanda got up to exit the coffee shop.

Nick cared for Amanda and even though it hurt him to see her Barba, the last thing he wanted to do was hurt her. "Wait Amanda" he said. Amanda came and sat back down. "I sent those photos" he said.

"You sent those photos!" she got up from her chair.

"It's not what you think Amanda" she stopped turned around and sat back down.

"What exactly is it Nick, because these photos look like you are stalking me and my boyfriend!"

"I am in love with you Amanda" he said.

"You're what?! She almost yelled.

Thinking Amanda hadn't heard what he had said. Nick started to repeat what he said. But Amanda cut him off mid sentence. "I heard what you said Nick". "What did you was a violation of mine and my boyfriends privacy. What were you planning to do with those photos?" "Were you planning to threaten him if he didn't break it off with me? Were you going to blackmail me?

"No, no, never Amanda. I would never do anything to hurt you. I love you. I've been in love with you since we worked on the taskforce together, but I was with Maria then. When I saw you in the SVU squadroom, it was like I had been given a second chance. All I was doing was making sure you were safe Amanda."

"By taking photos of me when I was intimate with my boyfriend?! And you sent them to myself and him for what reason exactly Nick?"

"To show you that I was looking out for you, that's all." She shook her head in disbelief.

Amanda got up Look Nick, I've got to go, but outside of work you need to stay away from me and stay away from him as well. "Do you understand?" Nick nods.

Back at Rafael's apartment he was cleaning up and re-arranging a few things when he saw a yellow envelope, it's not his, Amanda must have left it behind. He picked it up and saw the writing on the front "Amanda Rollins" it was the same writing, the same envelope that he received. Rafael opened the envelope to find photos, similar to the ones he had received, these were taken at a different time, after the ones he received. There was a post it note attached to one of the photos with the name "Amaro". "Amaro! You have got to be kidding me!" He dialled Amanda number.

"Rollins" Amanda answered. "Hi, it's me". "Hi, what's up?" "I found a yellow envelope marked "Amanda Rollins" and there were photos inside of it, similar to the photos that I received, and then I found a note saying "Amaro", is there something you need to tell me Amanda?

"I found out right before I met your mum, I was going to tell you and I wanted to get out in front of this. We just met at a coffee shop, completely public."

"Wait you met him? Alone?"

"He is harmless. I told him that this is not acceptable and outside work to stay away from me and you"

"And?" he asked

"And what, that's it?"

"Amanda, there is something else tell me"

"He says he is in love with me, that he has been since we worked together a few years and that he sees this as a second chance, but I made it clear nothing was going to happen."

"Amanda, he is dangerous, at least take out an Order of Protection"

"That would make everything public and I'm not ready for that right".

"Exactly which he also knows" he said. "It makes it perfect leverage"

Did he say what he was going to do with the photos, send them to your boss, 1PP, the brass, my boss?"

"No, he said he was doing it to make sure I was safe, that's all.

"Look I don't want to fight with you especially not over Amaro. It's been settled and I just want to move forward with you. Please"

"Okay, I promise, that if anything and I mean anything happens with the Amaro situation you don't try and handle it yourself. You call me, and we will handle it together. _Entiende? _

Yes I understand Rafael. I've got to go, but we'll talk later okay

_Cut to Nick's Therapist Office_

"So Nick, what is new what has been happening?"

"Well I've transferred into a new squad and re-united with an old work colleague, which has been great.

"And you are still taking your pills?" he asked

"Everyday" Nick responded with a smile.

3 full containers of pills remained unopened in Nick's bathroom cabinet.


	13. Chapter 13- Rollins, Amaro and Barba

Chapter 13

Nick had left from the therapist offices and had started to head home. He pulled out his phone and started to text Amanda. "Amanda, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you or make you angry. I was just looking out for you". He clicked send and continued his journey home.

Amanda's phone beeped, she turned her phone over hoping for a text message from Rafael and she sees the notification "Text message from Amaro". She quickly reads the text; still angry about what he'd done decides not to reply.

The next day at work Amanda walked into the squad and sees everybody already working away. "Sorry I'm late, I slept through my alarm." She motions hello to everyone, but didn't make eye contact with Nick, which didn't go unnoticed by Fin. The briefing finished 10 minutes later and Amanda heads straight to the coffee pot, as Nick heads back to his desk and Fin follows Amanda over the coffee pot and says "What did he do"

"Who" she asked, avoiding eye contact with Fin.

"Amaro" he said simply

"What! What do you mean?" she asked, still avoiding eye contact and almost broke the coffee pot.

"Amanda, you wouldn't even look at Amaro when you came in, you hurried out of the office after the briefing and you nearly broke the coffee pot just know when I asked you about him". "I'm going to ask again, what did Amaro do?"

Amanda looks at Fin for the first time during this entire encounter and replies. "Nothing I can't handle Fin, it's fine, it's under control."

"Amanda, if you need help, I can talk to him, set him straight" he offers.

"Thanks Fin, but it's all good, I'm handling it." "I promise." "We better get back before we are missed" she says picking up her coffee and heading back to her desk.

Nick walks up to Amanda, put one hand on her desk leans down "Can we talk?" he asks

"We have nothing to talk about Nick, and I don't want to bring what happened into work, okay". "Now please just leave me alone." She says. Fin motions to get up, and Nick backs off and throws his arms up in the air.

"Amaro?" "Everything okay?" Liv asks and glances over at Rollins

"Yeah"

"We got a call, rape victim at Mercy. Rollins, Fin go to Mercy and interview the vic. Amaro with me we'll take the crime scene."

On the ride over to Mercy Amanda was pretty quiet, which was unusual for her, but Fin decided not to push it, for now. Amanda's phone beeped with a text message. It was from Rafael "Hola hermosa, I just wanted to check in and find out how everything has been with Amaro". I miss you, can we catch up tonight, my place, I'll cook "

She smiled and responded "That sounds great, say 7?"

"Better make it 8, lots of trial prep" he replied.

She smiled and laughed and texted back "See you at 8"

"So, who's the guy" Fin asked. "Come on Amanda, you smile and laugh when you get a text or you talk to him." "So spill it." "I know it's not Amaro" he chuckled.

She smiled. "Come on Fin, hush up, it's new I don't want to jinx it"

"Come on Rollins, who I am gonna tell. It's someone I know right, that's the only reason you wouldn't tell me." "

Amanda smiled and looked away "My lips are sealed Fin"

"Alright, let's break this down a minute, the only people you and I know both know is "Amaro, which I can safely say it isn't, Cragen- you're not sleeping with the capt are you Rollins? Or Barba, I don't know how you'd put up with him." "It's Barba isn't" he said.

Amanda smiled still not saying a word. "We're here, let's go"

"Barba, really?" "Well he seems to make you happy"

"Will you drop it", she says, giving Fin the look to drop it.

"For now" he says and smiles.

They pull back the curtain and see their rape victim.

Meanwhile at the crime scene, Olivia and Nick are working with Forensics and CSU to try and establish what exactly had happened to their victim. Olivia pulls Nick aside. "Is everything okay Nick?"

"Yeah, everything is fine" "Why do you ask?"

"Things between you and Rollins in the squad room, seemed a little bit tense." "Are you still seeing your therapist Nick, taking your meds?"

"Yeah of course, it was just a misunderstanding that's all, its all been sorted out" he smiled and continued sifting through the crime scene.

An hour later they were all back in squad room about to head out for the night. Fin pulls Nick aside "Leave Rollins alone Nick"

"I don't know what your talking about Fin?"

"You heard what I said, I see the way she acts around you, just stay away from her and leave her alone, do you understand?"

"Fin, your barking up the wrong…."

"Just leave her alone, or you'll be dealing with me, understand?

Nick nods and Fin, says night to call. "Amanda, you coming?"

"Nah, I'm gonna stick around and finish up some paperwork" she replies

Nick, Fin and Olivia all head out leaving Amanda in the squad. She finishes her paperwork up an hour later, grabs her coat and heads out of the squad. As she turns the corner, she bumps into someone, she sees Nick standing there. "What do you want Nick, I told you to stay from away from me."

Nick backs her up against the wall, near the alley, it was dark and no-one else was around. He presses his body into her, his face mere centimeters from hers. "I want you Amanda, you're all I ever wanted" he says he tried to kiss and she turns her head away. "Why don't you want me Amanda, I thought we had something, you know there is something between us there always has been!", he said as he tried to caress her face, and touch her body, she recoiled away from his touch. He removed his hands for a moment and Amanda took that moment to get away from him and out from the wall.

"Look Nick, there is nothing between us, I am with someone else, someone that I care for. She turned to walk away, Nick grabbed her arm stop her from leaving, she clawed at him to let her go, he slapped her with the back of his hand knocking her to the ground leaving her unconcious, there were people heading his way, he knew he couldn't be there, he left, he left Amanda lying on the ground unconcious. As he walked away he dialled 911. "There is a White female unconcious in the alley behind the SVU precient, please send help" he hung up the phone. He could hear sirens approaching , he continued walking picking up his pace slightly and headed into the a bar a couple of blocks away to drink tonight away.

"Miss, Miss", she could hear the paramedics trying to talk to her, groaned as she grabbed her head. "Don't try to move, you've had a fall." "Can you tell me your name?"

"Amanda Rollins" she replied

"Your a detective?" the paramedic asked

"Yes, with SVU" she replied.

"Okay, it looks like you may have been assaulted." "Let's get you to the hospital" "Is there anyone I can call for you?

"Rafael" please call Rafael, his number is in my phone, under Barba"

She drifted in and out of consciousness and started mumbling "Nick, I'm with someone else, leave me alone." The paramedics wrote everything down as they travelled to the hospital.

Rafael's phone rang, seeing Rollins caller ID, "she's probably calling to say she is going to be late"

"Amanda, your calling because you're going to be late?"

"Sir, is this Rafael Barba?"

"Yes" he replies, with a concerning tone. "Who is this?"

My name is "Dr Richardson", I am an emergency doctor at Mercy Hospital, a women by the name of Amanda Rollins has been bought in by ambulance, she was drifting in and out of consciousness, but she asked for you by name"

"I'll be right there" Rafael says as he picked up his coat and caught a cab straight to the hospital.

Chapter 14 to come


	14. Chapter 14- Rollins in Hospital

Chapter 14

On the way to the hospital a million things were going though Rafael's mind. What had happened to her, did Amaro have anything to do anything to cause it, Was she okay, and so many other things raced through his mind. Next thing Rafael was at the hospital. "Sir?, Excuse me Sir?" Rafael snapped out of his head. "We are here" Rafael paid the driver and ran into the emergency department at Mercy.

Hi, I'm Rafael Barba I had received a phone call from Dr Richardson regarding Amanda Rollins, she was brought in."

"Take a seat Mr Barba, I'll get Dr Richardson for you" said the nurse.

Rafael took a seat in the waiting room, so anxious, he just wanted to see Amanda, hold her, make sure she is okay.

The phone rang at SVU. "Special Victims Unit, Detective Benson speaking."

"Detective, This is Dr Richardson, I'm a Emergency Doctor at Mercy Hospital. We have a victim of an assault. We believe she is Detective with your squad. Her name is Amanda Rollins". Olivia's heart sunk when she'd heard Amanda was in the hospital. "Okay, thank you, we will be there soon".

Olivia went in to brief the captain. "Captain" she says as she walks in and closes the door. "Rollins is in the hospital".

"What happened" Cragen asks

"Doctor, didn't say, just that she had been assaulted."

"Take Fin and head over to the hospital, see how she is doing and take her statement."

Olivia and Fin sit in silence the whole car ride over, until Olivia turned to Fin "She'll be okay Fin, she's strong,"

"I know you mean well Liv, but I'll feel better once I see her".

A few minutes later they arrive at the hospital.

Liv and Fin walked into the waiting room and spoke to the nurse, asking to see the Amanda Rollins. The nurse told them to take a seat and she would be with them as soon as she can. Liv and Fin turned around to see Barba in the waiting room, his head in his hands.

"Barba?" Liv asks. "What are you doing here?"

"Detective Benson?" Liv, looked up.

"You can see Ms Rollins now, only 1 visitor at a time for now." Olivia enters into the emergency rooms as she follows the nurse to see Amanda, leaving Fin alone with Barba

After sitting in silence for felt like 5 minutes Fin says "I know you're seeing Rollins"

Barba looked at Fin "She told you?"

"No, she didn't, it was a process of elimination, I knew it couldn't be Amaro, and I definitely knew she wasn't sleeping with the captain" he smiled. "The last option was you." He said.

"How did you know it wasn't Amaro? Rafael asked

"I see how she acts around him, especially lately, it's like she is going to jump out of her skin." Says Fin.

"Do you think that Amaro would..."

"What do something like this and hurt Amanda?" I wouldn't have thought him capable, but we don't know well enough, he's only been with SVU a short time."

"He's capable" Barba mumbled

"Did you say something Barba?"

"No, nothing, just talking to myself, I really want to see how see is."

"Alright let me go and see how she is going with Liv" Fin said as he got up and headed through the doors to Amanda's bed.

As Fin pulled back the curtain he saw Amanda laying there with bruising to her face and what looked like someone had tried to grab her as she bruising on her wrist.

"Liv, how is she doing?" he asked

"I just spoke to Dr Richardson, she has bruising to the face, bruising to her wrists and she'll have a hell of headache when she wakes up, but she will be okay"

Liv and Fin hear mumbling behind them. "Rafael?, Rafael?"

"Rollins, Amanda, its Liv"

"I'm in the hospital?" she asks

Liv nods yes. "Do you remember what happened?"

"It's a little fuzzy, I feel like I've been hit with a sledge hammer."

"Barba is in the waiting room" "Did you ask the paramedics or the doctor to call him?" No response from Amanda. "Amanda?"

"Rafael and I have been seeing each other, it's still new. The DA and the Captain know but that's it."

"I understand, but I need to take your statement Amanda."

"I remember leaving the squad, heading to Rafael's for a late dinner and the next thing I'm here."

"The paramedics said the you said something while they were loading you into the bus. "They said you said Nick, I'm with someone else, leave me alone."

"I don't remember Liv".

"Has Nick done anything before to you, any harassment. I noticed things were tense between you in the squad."

"Amanda?"

"Everything's fine Liv." "I just want to see Rafael. Can you send him in?"

"Yeah, get better Amanda, we'll talk soon"

Liv heads out the waiting room and says to Rafael "She's asking for you" Rafael rushes through the doors and heads to Amanda's room.

Olivia heads over to Fin who gets up to meet her. "What did Rollins say?" he said.

"She said that she exited the squad around 7.40 and the next thing she, said she remembers is waking up here"

"Sounds like you don't believe her Liv"

"I do, but I think the puzzle is missing some pieces." "I think we should talk to Amaro"

"She said he did something" he asked

"No, but the paramedic said Amanda mumbled "Nick, I'm with someone else, leave me alone.", so I think it's a good place to start."

Rafael pushed back the curtain to see Amanda lying in the bed with a bruised face and bruised wrist, he sat down in the chair next to her and squeezed her hand, "Oh Amanda what happened to you, please be okay" he said with his head in his hand.

"Hi" she said, with a slight tear on her.

"Hey Amanda, how are you feeling?" "What happened?" "I saw Liv, she didn't say anything, just said that you wanted to see me."

"It's all a little fuzzy, I don't really remember much."

"Did Amaro do something Amanda?"

"Maybe, Liv said I told the paramedic that I had said "Nick, I'm with someone else, leave me alone", but that could have been from earlier I really don't remember Rafael. I didn't think he could hurt me" she said as the tears were streaming down her face. "I'm sorry" she said

"Mi Amor, why are you apologising, none of this is your fault."

"I'm stronger than this Rafael, I should have listened to you his is dangerous"

"It's okay Amanda" he said wiping her tears away. "I'm here I'm not going anywhere" he said.

Meanwhile Liv tries to ring Nick's cell after about 10 rings, he picks up with a slurred voice. "Hello"

"Nick, it's Liv, we need to talk"

Chapter 15 to come


	15. Chapter 15- Amaro Confesses

Chapter 15

"What did you want to talk about Olivia" he slurred.

"Nick, we need to talk about this face to face. Where are you?" She asked

"I'm at the bar Liv, see you soon Liv" he slurred as he hung up the phone.

"Jesus Amaro" she thought

Liv rang Cragen to check in and to tell him what Amanda had had told her and about what the paramedic had said about Nick.

"If he did something to her on my watch" she said rubbing her hands through her hair

"Liv, it was my responsibility they were both new. You, Amaro, Rollins everybody in this squad I am responsible for. If this is anyone's fault it's mine. Okay? "Now you said that Amanda said something before she passed out to the paramedic"

"Yeah she said "Nick, leave me alone, I'm with someone else".

"I see" Cragen replied "And you think that something happened between them and it escalated to where Amaro put Rollins in the hospital?"

"Look Capt, they are both new, we know they have a history together, we know that Amaro is on medication, he says he's taking it, but we both know that he has been acting more and more wound up and more focused on Amanda"

"What do you mean Liv?"

"Well just yesterday she avoided eye contact with him in this office. She nearly jumped out of her skin and re-coiled when he stood over her at her desk. Something is going on with them; I don't mean dating I mean something else."

"Alright look, find Amaro, let me know where he is and I'll go and talk to him"

Liv nods and proceeds to triangulate Amaro's cell, it puts him drinking in a bar uptown. Liv walks back into the Captain's office. "He's at a bar uptown. I'll send the address to your phone."

Cragen grabs his coat and heads uptown.

10 minutes later Cragen arrived at the bar, he saw Nick through the glass drowning himself in a beer. Cragen braced himself as he entered the bar.

Cragen pulled up a stool next to Nick. "Nick, what's going on?"

"Capt" he said as he raised his glass. "Another for me, and one for him" he motioned to Cragen.

"None for me thanks" he motioned to the bar tender. "I think you've had enough Nick, and why are you drinking when you're on medication." "What's going on Nick?"

"I'm leaving" he said as he got up to leave. Cragen stopped him.

"You're not going anywhere Detective until you explain yourself. Firstly why are you here? Why are you drinking when you're on medication?"

"I'm in love with Rollins" he blurted out.

"Okay, and is that was caused you to come to the bar and start drinking Nick?" he asked

"I told her that she doesn't belong with him, she belongs with me. I'm the one that looks out for her, I'm the one that cares about her" Nick started to ramble

'I know that you care about her Nick. Can you tell me what happened Nick?"

"Nothing, we met up, she wanted to talk about the photos and"

"What photos Amaro?" Cragen queried.

"You know the photos I took of her and Barba, to show her that I was looking out for her like I always do?"

"Okay, and what happened Nick?"

"I told her that I loved her, I told her that when I saw her in the squadroom I felt like I had been given a second chance with her. That I was looking out for her and that she should be with me and not him."

"What did she say Nick" he asked. He could see Amaro was starting to break down. "Nick?"

"She said that she was with Barba and that she was falling in love with him and that I needed to let her go and move on." I don't know if I can Capt." "I love her I don't want to see her with anyone else." "I even tried to tell her tonight. I tried to talk to her when she left the squad, she told me to leave her alone, so I did and I ended up at the bar"

"Well Nick, it's time to get you out of here." Cragen said as he pulled Nick off the bar stool and helped him out to the sidewalk as they both hopped into a nearby cab. Cragen and Nick headed uptown towards his apartment.

About 5 minutes into the journey Nick was falling mumbling as he fell asleep against Cragen. "I love you Amanda, I always have, since I first met you." "Why don't you love me?" He kept repeating "Why don't you love me?" as he drifted off to sleep

"Oh boy" Cragen said as the cab pulled up in the front of Nick's place.

"Amaro, we're here" Cragen said as he nudged him to wake up. "Come on Amaro" he said grabbing his arm and leading him up the stairs.

By this point Nick had started to sober up slightly. Cragen had helped Amaro to the couch and pulled a blanket that was on the back of the couch and covered him with it.

"Capt, what are you doing here?" "Did I call you?"

"No, Rollins is in the hospital. "I came looking for you and found you in the bar.

"Rollins is in the hospital, is she okay?" he asked as memories of earlier that night started to come back to her. "Oh my god, Oh god" he said as he took his head in his hands.

"Amaro, tell me what happened" Cragen asked as he placed his hand on Nick's back.

"I remember waiting for Rollins outside the squad, I just wanted to talk to her. She didn't want to talk, she pushed passed me and I was angry, I tried to stop her I grabbed her hand, the next thing I know she was on the floor unconscious. I didn't mean to hurt her" he said

"I didn't mean to hurt her" he kept repeating sobbing

Cragen couldn't believe what he was hearing" He had hurt Rollins, emotionally, psychologically and physically. "Amaro, try and get some sleep okay, we will talk more in the morning."

"Amaro layed down on the couch pulling the blanket up over him and was out like a light in mere minutes.

Cragen took a place on the chairs watching Amaro as he slept. He sure as hell wasn't leaving him alone in the condition that he was…drunk and considering his mental state, he was worried about what he might do.

_Back to the Hospital_

Rafael had stepped out of the room around the corner for a cup of coffee. He remembered when he had first meet her and she asked if he had thought about coming off caffeine and he had responded that would be No. That had brought a smile to his face. As he entered the room he could hear Amanda talking to Dr Richardson

"Can I go home? She asked

"Detective, I would prefer you stay overnight, you have a concussion and bruising, you need to rest"

"Amanda" Rafael said as he walked back through the door. "Please stay the night, the doctors here can monitor you atleast for the night. I don't know what I'd do if something happened to you Amanda. Please stay the night ok? For me?"

Knowing she was outnumbered she replied "okay, for you" as she layed back down."

Suddenly Barba's phone beeped and Cragen 's number flashed up on the screen.

"I just have to take this Amanda, I'll be right back" he said as he exited the room. "Don, what's going on?"

"Barba, I found Amaro, he confessed to hitting Amanda, when she tried to leave after he confronted her leaving the squad."

"Thanks Don for letting me know, I better get back" Barba hangs up the phone.

When Rafael got back to Amanda's room she was asleep, Rafael kissed her on the forehead and settled in for night next to her bed.

Chapter 4 to come…


	16. Chapter 16- Amaro Arrested

Chapter 16

Rafael spent the night in the hospital next to Amanda; he wasn't going to let anything happen to her.

He woke up the next morning to see her wide awake staring at him.

"Morning sleepy" she said smiling at him

"Morning, he said as he stretched out in the arm chair and got up and her kissed her. "How long have you been awake? "He asked

"Not long, "I'm ready to go home" she replied

"I know, you are" he replied with a smile.

"So that um that phone call you got last night, it was to do with what happened last night right?"

"Yeah it was Cragen; he was calling to say he found Amaro"

"He found Amaro? What did he say?" she asked as she looked down away from Rafael

"We can talk about it later Amanda, you need to rest up and get well"

"Rafael! Please don't treat me like I'm broken." She said looking away from him

"I'm sorry Amanda; I didn't mean it like that. I was just trying to be there for you, protect you and get through this together" "I'm sorry"

Amanda turned back to Rafael with tears coming down her face. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to blow up at you. I've always had to take care everyone else; I'm so used to having to deal with and going through everything myself. I've gone so long with not relying on anyone, telling myself the only person I can depend on is me." She sighed.

"Amanda" Rafael said, as he wiped the tears from her eyes he took her hands in his. You have me" he said simply. "You have me" he repeated.

Amanda couldn't form words she just nodded. Soon after Dr Richardson entered the room. "How are you feeling today Amanda?"

"I'm feeling better, ready to head home" she said

"Well your vitals look good, let me get your discharge paperwork." Says Dr Richardson as he exits her room and returns a few minutes later with her discharge papers.

"Amanda, remember to rest, take these if you feel dizzy or sick and follow up with your local doctor in a couple of days if you have no improvement."

"Don't worry Doc, I'll look after her" Rafael said smiling

Rafael helped Amanda out of bed and put his arm around her waist as they walked out of the emergency department. Amanda looked up to see Olivia leaning against a squad car in the parking lot.

"Did you call her?" She asked

"No, I didn't. She must have called the hospital and asked when you were being released."

Amanda and Rafael walked towards Olivia.

"Hi Amanda. How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay" she said looking away. "I'm just ready to head home"

"Alright let's get you home." She said as she opened the door and Amanda and Rafael slid into the backseat.

Olivia, Amanda and Barba sat in silence most of the way home, until Amanda couldn't take it anymore. "Did you talk to Amaro?" She asked

"I haven't spoken to him, but the captain has. He is still with him as far as I know."

"He's still with him?" She asked

"Yeah, he found him at a bar, and Cragen took him back to his apartment and he has been there ever since."

10 minutes later they were back at Amanda's apartment. "Are you right Amanda?" Liv asked. "I've got to get back to the squad and check in."

"She'll be fine, I'll be with her" Rafael replied.

Even though she didn't try and show it, her head was pounding, and her body was sore from when she hit the ground.

They climbed the stairs to Amanda's apartment and as they reached her door, Rafael felt Amanda slip from his grasp. "Whoa there" he said as he grabbed her to stop her from falling. "Are you okay? Maybe we need to go back to the hospital."

"I'm fine, I promise. I'm just a little tired, can't really sleep in the hospital you know"."

"Alright" he said. "You get comfortable on the couch. What can I get you? Tea, coffee, foot massage?" he said with a cheeky smile.

"Just a tea, black no sugar please" she asked and she laid back on the couch.

Rafael made a coffee for himself and the tea for Amanda. As he headed back to the lounge to put down the tea he found Amanda fast asleep. She'd had a rough couple of days. He smiled and kissed her forehead. "duerma bein mi amor." He stepped around the corner to call Don to find out what is happening with Amaro.

_Back to Amaro's apartment_

Cragen had stayed awake making sure Amaro didn't do anything stupid during the night. He got up to make 2 cups of strong coffee 4 teaspoons of coffee 4 teaspoons of sugar, and sat in in front of Amaro, who's nose started to twitch at the smell of the coffee, and started to stretch out opening his eyes slowly waking up, he spied his captain sitting to the side of him. Amaro jumped up and off the couch.

"Uh Capt, what are you doing here?" he asked as his mind started to fill in the rest of his blanks. "You're hear about Amanda aren't you, about what happened last night."

"Do you remember what we talked about?" Cragen asked

"Yeah I remember. I guess you've got to take me in right?"

"Yeah, come on, let's go."

Amaro got changed and headed to the squad with Don to give his statement about what happened to Amanda.

Amaro entered the squad room with Cragen, no-one there seemed to know what was happening. Amaro scanned the squad room for Fin, thank god he wasn't there, he would have ripped his head off.

"Take a seat in here Amaro, I'll be right back." Cragen said

Olivia walked up and met Cragen outside the interview room. "How's Rollins doing?" he asked

"She's putting up a strong front, but I can see some cracks starting to form. She's strong, but he's scared her, she's still a little freaked out. I dropped her and Barba off to her apartment"

Cragen entered the interview room, to see Nick pacing at the back of the room.

"Amaro, come and sit down" Cragen said as he pointed to the chair

"I can't, too many things running through my head." Nick replied frantically

"Amaro! "Cragen said in a firm authortive voice. "Sit down we need to talk about Amanda."

Nick looked up and pulled out the seat and sat down.

"What happened last night?" He asked. "Nick, can you tell me what happened last night?"

"I needed to talk to Rollins, I had to make her understand that I still loved her I always had, every since we met on the taskforce. I had a second chance when I saw her, here in SVU. I knew I had to take advantage of it."

"Okay Amaro, what happened last night?"

After you all left I waited outside the squad for her. I just wanted to talk to her I swear." He said as he got up out of his chair and started pacing the room.

"All I wanted to do was talk, and she wouldn't listen, I just wanted her to listen"

"Calm down Nick, come and sit down. Tell what happened then?"

"I told her I still loved her and that being with him was a mistake and that I was best person for her, that I would care for her, but she wouldn't listen. I begged her not to leave, I grabbed her hand to stop her and I don't know what happened, the next thing I knew she was on the ground. I don't remember. I checked if she was okay, and I called an ambulance. I did the right thing. I made sure she was alright. I made sure she was alright."

"Okay Nick, I'll be right back." Cragen said as he exited the interview room.

"Well he's decompensating" Olivia said as Cragen exited the interview room.

"He confessed last night and again just now. I'm shocked that Amaro had it in him; I thought he had everything under control. I should have been watching more closely."

"Go and arrest Amaro, Olivia."

"Capt.."

"Arrest him Detective or I'll get another Detective"

Olivia nodded and walked into the interview room. "Nicholas Amaro, you are under arrest for the assault of Amanda Rollins. You have the right to remain silent, anything you can say will be used against you in a court of law, you have the right to attorney if you cannot afford one, one will be provided for you. Stand up and put your hands behind your back."

"Wait what's going on. Liv, you've got this all wrong." Please you've got this wrong...

Chapter 17 to come

Please keep the reviews coming!


	17. Chapter 17- Amaro- Guilty - Bellevue

Chapter 17

As Olivia led Amaro out of the interview room all eyes in the squad room were on them and then the whispers started. Nick could hear them, millions of whispers. "What's going on? "Why is Amaro in cuffs?" This whispers continued as she lead Nick to an empty cell. As Olivia opened the cell door Nick turned to Olivia; "I was just looking out for her. I love her, Olivia."

"I know that you've got things going on right now Nick and maybe with everything that's going on you don't see what you did was wrong. You need to get help and sort it out. Bottom line is you don't hurt someone you love." She said as she closed the door to the cell, leaving Nick to think over what Olivia had said.

_Back to Amanda's Apartment_

6 hours later Amanda woke from her sleep to see Rafael sitting across from her hard at work. He looked up to see Amanda smiling at him. "How long have you been doing that?" he asked

"For a little while" she smiled. "I didn't want to interrupt you, you look cute when you concentrate, and you mutter to yourself in Spanish" she said as she smiled.

"Oh, I look cute do I?" he asked putting his paperwork aside.

"Mmmmhmm" she said smiling

Rafael got up and walked over to her and kissed her. "So are you up for some food? I was thinking about making Pollo Al Ajillo or maybe we could get some Chinese or Thai Food? Amanda opened her mouth to answer. "I'm making coffee" Rafael called out from the kitchen, "Would you like some coffee?" "Or tea? You last cup went cold" With no answer Rafael popped his head out the kitchen. "Tea or Coffee?"

"Well I would have responded if I could get a word in Rafael" she teased. "Some tea would be good". Rafael brought his coffee and her tea and sat down next to her. "You know, you could do with drinking a little less coffee"

"Yeah, that'd be a no" he smiled and kissed her. "So are you up for some food?

"I could eat, what are thinking?

"Well we grab some takeaway, you've been doing so much for me these last 24 hours. While I would normally cook or do something to make it up to you for now you're going to have to settle for letting me pay for dinner." She said

"You don't have to do that, lets atleast split the bill Amanda"

"Honestly it's my treat, after everything you've done for me lately."

Knowing that Amanda had been dealing with alot lately with the whole Amaro situation he didn't put up a fight about her paying. She placed the order and was told the food would be there in about 45 minutes.

Rafael relaxed back onto the couch with Amanda who leaned back comfortably into Rafael's body.

"Thank you" Amanda said suddenly. "Since this whole debacle with Amaro started, I've never said thank you to you for everything you've done for me, for us to make this work." "Thank you" she repeated.

Rafael turned to look at her "You never have to say thank you to me Amanda" "I'm here for you no matter what happens." "I love you Amanda."

"You...you love me?"

Rafael nodded, smiling. "You make me happier than you can ever imagine. When I got the call that you were in the hospital, I immediately thought if what happened if you had died, I don't know what I would do if you had died. I knew right then that I loved you"

"You love me" she said with a confused look on her face, as tears started to run down her face.

"What's the matter" Rafael asked, putting his hand on her back looking into her eyes.

"Amanda?" he asked as Amanda withdrew eye contact.

"I can't remember the last time some told me they love me." "My parents never told me they love me, my dad was only interested in gambling, I don't even remember my mum. I would tell my dad that I loved him, I would hug him and all he would be thinking about is his next bet. I didn't have any other family to love, to count on. Even my ex- boyfriends never told me they loved me." "Maybe I don't deserve love, happiness. This is why I struggle to express anything" she said shaking her head

Rafael caressed her head wiped her tears away. "Amanda, you are the most amazing, caring, intelligent, **loving** person I have met. I will be here for you at your best and I will here for you at your worst, whatever problem comes along we will tackle together." He smiled

She turned her head making eye contact with Rafael's hazelnut eyes. "I love you Rafael", she smiled. "I love you"

"Remember what my mama said, you are familia and we all love you."

Amanda smiled and kissed Rafael. "Thank you" she said. Rafael broke the kiss and looked at Amanda. "Is something wrong" she asked

"What did I say about you saying thank you" he smiled at her, Amanda smiled back and kissed. Then the door bell rang causing them to break the kiss. Rafael answered the door, the food had arrived. Rafael turned to Amanda and said with a smile "Food is served."

_Cut back to the Amaro's Cell_

Amaro's cell door opened to 2 uniformed officers. "Time for your arraignment. Put your hands behind your back." Nick didn't fight it, he didn't want to cause more trouble. He was lead out the back into an awaiting sedan and transported down to the court house. He arrived at the courthouse 10 minutes later and was escorted to a holding cell.

A couple of minutes after Nick arrived in the holding cell a familiar face appeared at the gate. "Dr Lindstrom, what are you doing here?"

"Nick, what have you gotten yourself into?" Why did you stop taking your medication?"

"I don't know what happened, the medication was making me feel sick, I felt like I wasn't me, I was getting headaches, I couldn't sleep so I came off it, I felt fine, then I got transferred to SVU and I saw Amanda."

"And then what happened?"

"I knew I'd been given a second chance to get her back, but she was with someone" I tried to make her see, she was the only one for me, but she wouldn't listen."

"And then you hit her"

Nick nodded yes, avoiding eye contact with Lindstrom.

The corrections officer suddenly appeared at the gate. "You're up, let's go." The corrections officer led him into the court room and Nick took his position behind the defendant desk, which was a position he hadn't been in before.

Judge Lena Petrovsky was presiding over his bail hearing. "I'm surprised to see you here Detective. How does the defendant plead?"

As much as Nick did not want to plead guilty he knew he had to, he had to get better. "Guilty, your honour"

"People on bail? Petrovsky asked

"We request remand, your honour."

"Objection, your honour, Detective Amaro is a decorated NYPD detective with no criminal history and strong ties to the community."

"Detective Amaro is currently undergoing therapy and requires medication; we request he be remanded to Bellevue psychiatric ward to be made to take his medication."

"I agree with the people, the defendant is hereby remanded to Bellevue psychiatric ward where he is to take his medication" Petrovsky bangs her gavel and Amaro is taken away to Bellevue.

_Cut back to Amanda's Apartment_

Amanda and Rafael were finishing dinner when Rafael's phone rang. He stepped out of the room into the hall. "Hi, it's Don"

"Hi, how did everything go?" he asked

"Amaro's bail was denied and he's been sent to Bellevue for a psych eval and he is being made to take his medication."

"Thanks for letting me know Don."

"Who was that?" Amanda asked

"That was Cragen. He was calling to let us know that Amaro was arrested and had his arraignment and he was sent to Bellevue on a psychological and he is getting a psych eval and he is being made to take his medication." "Amanda are you okay with that?" he asked as Amanda hadn't turned around when he gave her the news.

"Yeah, I mean I'd rather not think about it, but at least he is getting help right."

"You are amazing, you know that" he said, wrapping his arms around her.

"I know I am" she said cheekily. "But specifically why am I amazing this time?"

"Because after everything he has done to us, to you, you still happy he is getting the help he needs."

_Cut to Amaro's room at Bellevue_

Amaro settles into his room, happy with the remorsefulness he had shown his captain, Olivia, the squad, his shrink. He only had 1 target in mind- Amanda Rollins, he thought as he tongued his pills.

_**Please keep the reviews coming, let me know what you think**_

_**Chapter 18 to come**_


	18. Chapter 18- Amaro Breaks Out

Chapter 18

Amaro had been at Bellevue for a little over a week now and was getting used to the routine. He had been in group therapy and had been tonguing his medication, but today was his first one on one session with his therapist. Nick entered the office and took a seat.

"Nick, take a seat. I'm Doctor Bell." I've read your file from Dr Lindstrom. You are an officer with NYPD? I can see you've been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and he has noted her that you have recently developed an obsession with one of your co-workers and ex partners and you are here because you came off your medication and you assaulted her? Is that correct?" he asked

Avoiding eye contact with the Dr Bell he replied. "Yeah, that's what happened?"

"Why did you come off your medication Nick? He asked

Nick shifted in his seat. "It was making me sick; I didn't feel like myself, I had headaches. I just wanted to feel normal again and everything was fine."

"Did you tell Dr Lindstrom about the side effects you were having?"

"Not until after everything happened with Rollins and I was arrested. Lindstrom came to see me in the tombs before I went to arraignment. He asked me what was going on and why I didn't say anything."

"Okay" Bell muttered as he made notes in the file.

"We re-started you on the lithium, but at lowered dose when you got here. How do you feel now?"

Nick thought for a moment and replied. "I want to get better, get off the drugs, get back to my life, my daughter."

"Alright Nick I want you take me through what happened for you to end up here." He said

Nick started to explain how he had transferred into SVU and how he had seen Amanda again; a women that he had deeply loved; and that she was with someone else. At this point Amaro started speaking faster and faster. "At first I thought it was fine, I told her I was fine with her being with someone else, I even encouraged it!"

"What do you mean when you say you encouraged it?" Bell asked

"We had caught up for drinks and she told me, she told me she was in a relationship and it was new and she was sure she was going to screw it up, and then she ended up screwing him and I got screwed over.

"Nick!"

"I told her that if she wants it work, then you make it work and she left me to go to him. I pushed her into his arms! How is this not my fault?"

"Nick!, Calm down! Come and sit down. You need to focus on getting on getting yourself well and stable to return to work. "Alright, we will leave it there for today and we will talk again tomorrow" he said as Nick gets up and exits the office.

"Tomorrow I won't be here" he whispers as he leaves Dr Bell's Office.

_Cut Back to SVU Squad- Cragens Office_

"Capt, have you heard anything about Amaro?"

"Yeah, yeah he is complying and taking his meds and seeing a shrink."

"Well, that's good that he is getting help at least and co-operating."

"Yeah, isn't it Rollins first day back today?"

"Yeah it is" Olivia said as she exited the office.

_Cut to Rollins Apartment_

Amanda couldn't sleep and was up at sunrise pacing around her apartment. Rafael rolled over to put his arm around her to find gone from the bed. Rafael slid out of bed, and wandered out into the living area to find Amanda sitting at the dining table drinking a cup of coffee.

"Morning" he says with a smile

"Buenos Dias" she replied smiling. "Can I make you a coffee?"

"Yes, please." He replied as she poured him a coffee.

"So are you nervous about today, first day back after what happened with Amaro?"

"Well I could lie and say I wasn't. But I am nervous. I'm worried about the whispers and what people are saying and them asking questions about what happened."

"Don't worry Amanda. I'm sure Cragen has told everyone to be on their best behavior and if there not I'm sure Fin will sort them out" he said as he kissed her.

40 minutes later Amanda was showered dressed and heading out the door, as she walked down the block to hail a cab a familiar face pulled up and opened the door.

"Fin! What are you doing here?"

"Did you really think I was going to let you walk into the squad by yourself after everything that happened?" he said. She smiled. "Get in" he said

"I'm sorry I didn't call you. I wanted to give you your space." He said as he drove into the squad

"It's alright Fin, I understand why you didn't call. You're here now, that's what matters." She smiled.

15 minutes later they arrived at the squad. Amanda walked in with Fin close behind her, almost like a bodyguard. All eyes looked up on her. The captain came out his office and smiled and said "Welcome back Rollins". She smiled and entered the squad room.

Over the course of the day a lot of members of the squad, were coming up to her saying that they were glad that she was back. Amanda was happy to be back as she settled into her desk to catch up on some paperwork.

_Back to Bellevue_

It was coming up to medication time; Amaro was hiding in the corner as the nurse entered his room to administer his medication and to check on him. As the nurse entered the room Amaro pounced up behind and put him a sleeper hold, which took him down in less than 6 seconds. Amaro dragged him into his room, stripped him, stole his access card, clothes and hat and headed out into the hall and into the locker room. He opened the nurses locker, stole his car keys and walked straight out the front door towards his new target….

_2 Hours Later at Bellevue_

A new nurse on shift comes in to check on Amaro and finds his colleague unconscious in Amaro room. He quickly rolls him onto his side to check his airways and then onto his back. He hits the alarm, which starts to wail out through the facilities. He radios in. "Help, I need help in here. Patient Nicholas Amaro has choked out a nurse and escaped, send a medic. Help, I need help in here. Patient Nicholas Amaro has choked out a nurse and escaped, send a medic."

_Back to the SVU Squad Room_

"SVU, Cragen" said

"Captain, this is Bellevue Hospital. One of our patients Detective Amaro has choked out a guard and has escaped. We think he is headed back to the city."

"Thank you for letting me know. Rollins, can you come in here?"

"Yes Captain?"

"Listen, I've just had a call from Bellevue. Amaro has escaped, they think he is on the way back to city. Amanda, everything will be okay."

"I have to call Rafael."

"Alright no leaving the station okay"

_Cut to Rafael's Apartment_

Rafael finished up the day early to come home and surprise Amanda with a home cooked meal and wine. He suddenly feels an arm around his throat and he was out like a light.

_Back to the Squad_

She nods. She dials the DA's office. "Carmen, it's Detective Rollins. Is Barba there?"

"Sorry Detective, he left about 40 minutes." "You could try him on his cell phone?"

"Amanda dials Rafael numbers, it rings and rings and finally he answers.

"Rafael, it's Amanda where have you been. I've been trying to get a hold of you all day."

"Rafael can't come to the phone right now Amanda."

_**Chapter 19 to come**_

_**Post your reviews guys, let me know what you think. **_


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Amanda walked outside. "Nick, Nick! What's going on! What have you done to Rafael!"

"I've done nothing to Rafael Amanda, but I need you to hear me out and I know that you will as long I have Rafael." He said calmly which freaked Amanda out more than she cared to admit.

Amanda didn't respond. "I take it by your silence says you understand. All I want is to talk to you Amanda face to face I want you to hear me out."

"Alright, alright I'll hear you out." Where are you Nick? I'll come to you."

"I'm at Rafael's apartment Amanda. We'll see you soon" he said gun in hand as he smiled at Rafael who was tied to a chair in the living room.

"She's on her way Rafael. It's time to end this."

_**Cut Back to the Squad Room**_

Rollins rushed back into the squad to grab her jacket and head over to Rafael's apartment. As she was leaving Fin stopped her. "Amanda what's going on?"

"Nothing. I'm just heading out for a bite to eat" she said with a forced smile.

"Amanda, I overhead the phone call. You need to tell the captain what's going on. We are all behind you."

"He has Rafael." She whispered.

"What! He has Barba? You need to tell the captain right now. Let's go."

Fin and Rollins head into Captain Office.

"Capt, we have a problem. Nick's taken Barba hostage at his apartment. He wants to talk to Amanda. Face to Face."

Suddenly Amanda started to turn around and starts to exit the Captains office. "Rollins, where are you going?" Even though Cragen already knew the answer.

"I'm going to Rafael's apartment. I need to face him and end this."

"Rollins you aren't going anywhere without backup. Fin, Olivia in here."

"What's going on Capt." Asked Olivia

"Amaro has taken Barba hostage at his apartment. He's asked to speak to Amanda. Face to Face."

"Are you up for this Amanda?" asks Cragen.

"I'm not going to let him hurt Rafael because of me Captain. I have to do this."

"Alright, Fin, Liv, you go with Amanda and I'll call ESU to meet you there."

"Capt, ESU?" asked Amanda.

"We don't know what we could be walking into Amanda." She nods and leaves the squad room with Liv and Fin following. Cragen dials ESU as they exit the squad.

_**20 minutes later they arrive at Barba's Apartment. **_

Nick pulls back one of the curtains and sees a squad car pull up and watches as the ESU truck pulls up them. He watches as Amanda steps out of the car and a smile spreads across his face. "Game time" he says as he looks at Rafael who is still bound to the chair.

Nick took out his phone and dialled Amanda's number and on the first ring Amanda answered.

You're here and I see you've bought friends." He said in that calm voice that she had heard earlier.

"Yeah, just making sure everyone is safe Nick. You, me, Rafael."

"Come up to his apartment Amanda, alone. If I see anyone follow you up anyone move from that pavement I'll hurt him, do you understand."

"I understand Nick." She replied and he hung up the phone.

Amanda put on her bullet proof vest, and dialled Olivia's cell phone and put in her pocket so that they could hear everything that was going on. She started to head up the stairs to Rafael's apartment. A million scenarios started to run through her head. What if he hurt Rafael, what if he had killed him. Amanda shook her head and focused. Amanda arrived at the door of Rafael's apartment took a deep breath and knocked on the door. A few seconds later Nick opens the door. "Come in Amanda." She steps inside Rafael's apartment and Nick quickly closes the door behind her.

Amanda scanned the apartment and saw Rafael tied to the chair. Amanda motioned to go to him and make sure he was okay but Amaro cocked his gun and pointed it Amanda, which stopped Amanda in her tracks. "First we talk Amanda."

Amanda stopped and turned around. No, Nick. First I check on Rafael and then we talk."

Nick paced up and down the room, tapping the gun and his head. "Alright go, check on him." He motioned his gun to Amanda and she walked over to Rafael.

"Are you okay?" she whispers. He nodded yes. "I'm so sorry about all of this" she said shaking her head as small drops came down her face.

"It's not your fault, we're going to get through this." He replied.

"Alright that's enough" came Nick's voice. Amanda sniffled and turned her head to see Nick behind her gun in hand. "Now we talk. Sit down Amanda."

Amanda got up and moved across to sit down on the couch. Nick paced back and forth again rubbing his gun along the side of his head.

"What happened to us Amanda, huh? Everything was going great. Why couldn't things go back to the way things were? What did I do wrong huh Amanda tell me that what did I do wrong, what I did I do that you couldn't give me, give us another chance.

As Amanda and Nick were talking, Fin, Olivia and a group of ESU cops started to ascend the stairs to Barba's apartment.

"You did nothing wrong Nick, this isn't your fault. I loved the time we spent together; our relationship was one of the best ones that I have ever had. I loved you Nick, but we were just in different places. I was moving back to Atlanta, you were going back undercover, timing wasn't right."

"Okay, okay I get that" he said as he waved as he started talking faster. "What about when I saw you in the squad room, we could have had a chance to be together again, this relationship with him was just starting. You could have been with me again we could have worked things out. You just didn't want to do it did you Amanda, tell me the truth you didn't want it, you didn't want me." He said as his face was only inches way from here. "It's all his fault, pointing the gun at Barba."

Amanda stood up and put herself in between Amaro's gun and Rafael. Amanda put her hands up. "Nick, it's not Barba's fault. It's mine. I hesitated that first night in the bar, when you asked if I was seeing someone, and I told you I wasn't sure. I led you on. I'm sorry I should have never have done that."

"No, no, if he (pointing the gun at Barba) wasn't in the picture, it will be like it was. Nick cocked the gun and took a step towards Barba. Amanda again put her body in between herself and Rafael. "Nick if you hurt him, you hurt me and you don't want to do that. You told me yourself, that you only wanted to keep me safe. Nick, put down the gun. He shook his head. Nick, look at me, please put down the gun."

"I can't do that Amanda, If I can't have you no-one can." He raised his weapon and fired. The first bullet hitting Amanda low in the torso, Amanda dropped.

Fin and Olivia broke down the door. Nick fired his weapon again at Barba, hitting him once in the shoulder and then low in the torso as well.

"Put down the gun Amaro" yelled Fin.

Amaro turned gun in hand and motions to put the gun to his own head. "No!" yells Olivia. Olivia tackles Amaro as he fires the gun and the bullet grazed off his skull. Olivia kicks the gun away pushes Amaro face down to the floor and cuffs him. "You should have let me die" Amaro says as he picked up by Fin and led out of the apartment.

Olivia radios for EMS, who are already on route. Olivia cuts Barba free from the chair and lays him down next to Amanda. Moments later EMS, enter the apartment. "Ma'am, step back. Ma'am, we need room to work. Step Back" Olivia stepped back allowing the EMS to work on Barba and Rollins.

A couple of minutes later Rollins and Barba are being loaded into the ambulance on their way to the hospital straight into surgery. Olivia exits the building and sees Amaro staring as Rollins is being loaded into the ambulance with a sick smile on his face.

Olivia jumped in the back of the ambulance with Amanda, and headed to the hospital. They arrive at the hospital 7 minutes later. Amanda and Rafael are rushed out of the Ambulance to awaiting surgical team and are rushed straight into surgery. Olivia tries to use the fact she is a cop to stay with them, but the nurse stops her. The last thing she sees in Rafael and Amanda being wheeled into surgery.

Olivia stood there staring into space, clothes covered in blood where she had tried save Rafael.

_**Chapter 20 to come **_

_**Please post reviews, let me know what you think**_


	20. Chapter 20- Shot and in Hospital

Chapter 20

Olivia continued to stare into space. She heard a voice calling her.

"Liv." "Liv." She snapped out of her daydream and saw her captain standing there.

"How are Barba and Rollins?" He asked

"Uh, I don't know they took them straight into surgery, there's no news yet."

"Where is Fin?" She asked

"He is taking Amaro back to the lock up, then he is heading back to Barba's apartment to liaise with CSU." Replied Cragen. "You need go and change Liv and get Fin and come back here."

Liv opened her mouth to begin arguing with her Capt.

"No arguments Liv. I'll wait here and call if there is any news."

Liv nodded and exited the hospital. She headed back to the squad where she kept a spare change of clothes. She knew Nick was here in the building but she knew if she saw him, she would lose it at him, wrecking any chance of charging him with attempted murder. She shook herself out of that thought and headed out to Barba's apartment to pick up Fin.

_**Back to the Hospital**_

Cragen had been waiting for 2 hours with still no news about Barba's or Rollins condition when a doctor came into the waiting area. "Family of Amanda Rollins" he asked as Cragen walked over to him.

"I'm Captain Donald Cragen. She is an SVU detective in my unit. I am her commanding officer."

"Captain, the bullet hit her low in the stomach. It embedded itself in the stomach, it just missed the foetus, we removed the bullet and checked on the foetus and everything seems fine. She is in recovery now; she is still out from anaesthetic, but she should be awake soon.

"Wait a minute Doc. Are you saying Amanda is pregnant?"

"Yes, she is only approximately 3-4 weeks along. She may not have known herself yet."

"Okay thank you Doctor." Replied Cragen as the doctor left.

"Family of Rafael Barba?"

"Yes, I'm Captain Donald Cragen. Rafael Barba is an ADA that works with our department. What is his status?"

"He made it through the surgery, the first bullet hit him high in the shoulder and embedded itself in muscle, we removed it and stitched the wound. It's the second bullet that we are concerned about. It hit him low in the stomach, doing some damage to his kidney, we've removed the bullet and repaired his kidney and he is still unconscious. At the moment he is still in a coma and we need to wait until he wakes up to know if there is any further damage.

"Okay, thank you Doctor." Replied Cragen.

Cragen called Olivia who is on her way to Rafael's apartment and explained to her the status of Rafael and Rollins, minus Rollins pregnancy.

One of the nurses came out to see Cragen. "Excuse me, Captain? Detective Rollins is awake and she is asking about Mr Barba. Come with me and I'll take you to her."

Amanda was lying awake in the hospital bed, in almost no pain, being thankful for painkillers at that point when the door opened and she saw her Captain standing at the doorway.

"Can I come in Rollins?" Asked Cragen

"Sure Capt" She replied

"How are you feeling? Stupid question I know after you've just been shot."

"I feel okay, sore, but the painkillers help." She replied with a smile.

"Is Rafael okay? I need to see him." Amanda says as tries to get out of bed.

"Whoa Rollins, you're not going anywhere and you can't see Barba right now." Said Cragen

"Oh My God is he...dead" she said as tears started streaming down her face.

"No, No Amanda, he is in the ICU, he is in a coma, the bullet damaged his kidney, they have repaired it and removed the bullet. He just needs to rest. So do you Amanda."

"The doctor came to give me a status on your situation Amanda, while you were recovering from surgery. Has the doctor come to see you yet?"

"Yes. He told me that I'm pregnant and that bullet just missed the foetus, but the foetus is okay." She replied.

"Did you know you were pregnant Amanda?"

"No I had no idea Captain. I never wanted to kids, with my genes. It's too dangerous. I haven't told anyone this but my mother died of Huntington's disease, which means I have 50% chance of having it. I have never been tested. I wouldn't want to pass that onto a child."

"Does Barba know?" he asked.

"No I don't say anything unless it turns out to be nothing." Replied Amanda

"You need to get yourself checked Amanda. You need to find out for sure and you need to talk to Rafael when he wakes up."

Now I need to call Rafael's mother. Do you have a phone number for her."

Amanda nods and gives Cragen her phone number.

"Mrs Barba. This is Captain Donald Cragen calling from Manhattan Special Victims Unit. Your son works as the ADA for our department. I'm afraid he is in hospital in a coma.

"My Rafael is in the hospital. Is he okay? What happened?"

"He and Detective Rollins were shot. He is stable in a coma." "Detective Rollins asked me to call you straight away"

"Is Amanda okay? She is familia"

"Yes, she will be okay, she is in the hospital."

"I will be on the next flight to New York" she says as she hangs up the phone. Mrs Barba quickly packs up her things and heads to the airport.

4 Hours later Mrs Barba touched down in New York and was met by Captain Cragen.

"Mrs Barba?" he asked

"Si? She responds

"I'm Captain Cragen we spoke on the phone. Let's get you to the hospital"

"20 minutes later they arrived at the hospital. "

"I am here to see my son Rafael Barba, he is in the ICU" she said to the nurse.

"Of course Mrs Barba, come with me." Replied the nurse.

The nurse showed Ms Barba to Rafael's room as she entered the room, she saw her son, her usually quick witted, smiling son lying there with a tub down his throat, blood pressure cuff on his arm, tubes coming out of his arm and a pulse ox on his finger all hooked up to monitors.

It was too much for Mrs Barba to bear. She broke down in tear and grabbed onto his hand and started speaking in Spanish. "Oh mi amor Rafael, lo que le ha ocurrido. ¿Cómo acabaste aquí (Oh my love Rafael, what has happened to you. How did you end up here.) "Mamá está aquí ahora. Por favor, estar bien, por favor despertar. No puedo perder Rafael (Mum is here now. Please be okay, please wake up. I can't lose you Rafael.).

Mrs Barba held onto her sons hand, praying as Cragen waited outside.

20 minutes later Mrs Barba exited the room. "Captain. Can you take me to see Amanda please."

Cragen nodded and escorted Mrs Barba to Amanda's room. Cragen popped his head in the room. "Amanda I've got someone here to see you." Amanda saw Mrs Barba enter the room and she started crying.

Mrs Barba walked over to her embracing her in her arms. "It's okay Amanda, everything will be okay." She said as soothed Amanda.

"Have you seen Rafael? Is he okay?"

"He is strong, he will pull through. He is fighter. The doctor says he needs some time to heal."

"Where are you staying while you are here?" Amanda asks. "You can't stay at Rafael's, it's a crime scene."

"You can stay at my apartment Mrs Barba." Says Amanda.

"Oh I couldn't Amanda, I don't want to impose."

"You won't be. I remember what you said when we met Mrs Barba, you said we are familia. This is what familia does." She smiled

"See Captain Cragen at the squad room and he will give you the keys. Entiendes." Mrs Barba smiled and nodded.

Mrs Barba kept coming to visit both Amanda and Rafael over the next week and Amanda was finally healing from her bullet wound and was feeling strong enough to start moving around the hospital.

On Day8 Mrs Barba came for her usual visit when Amanda asked. "Mrs Barba? Can you take me to see Rafael? Please?"

"Are you sure you are feeling okay to do this Amanda? Amanda nodded and Mrs Barba asked the nurse to help Amanda into the wheelchair and they proceeded to go and see Rafael.

Mrs Barba sat with Rafael again. They had removed the tube from his throat as Rafael was breathing on his own now, which she took as a good sign as his body was starting to heal. She could see his eyes flicking back and forth like he was dreaming.

Next Mrs Barba wheeled Amanda in and positioned her near on the side of his bed. She took a step back and waited outside. Amanda grabbed took Rafael's hand into her's and closed her eyes.

"Rafael, I am sorry for everything. The last thing I ever wanted was for you to be hurt. I love you so much Rafael, Te Amo Rafael. I love you more than I express. Please wake up. I don't know what I would so without you here.

Amanda could see his eyes flicking back and forth faster and faster. She placed her head into his hands, when she felt his hands start to move, only slightly. She looked up and wiped away her tears, she saw his eyes start to flicker and slowly open. He squeezed her hand softly. Amanda cried out "He's waking up!, He's waking up!

Mrs Barba walked in the room. "Mama" he replied as he saw her.

"Rafael, es un milagro, usted está vivo, gracias oh dios. (Rafael, it is a miracle, you are alive, oh thank god).

"I could hear you talking to me Mama, I could hear Amanda, I knew I had to find my way back to you both.

Both Mrs Barba and Amanda could hold themselves together no longer and were crying not tears of sadness, but tears of happiness.

The nurse came to his room. "The doctors needs to examine Mr Barba. Do you mind waiting outside? We will come and get you when we are done." Said the nurse as she escorted Mrs Barba and Amanda out of the room.

"Mrs Barba do you have your teléfono here?

"Si Amanda."

"May I use it? I need to call my captain and let him know Rafael is awake."

Mrs Barba nods and hands over here cell phone. Amanda dials Cragens number.

"Cragen"

"Captain, it's Amanda. Good news Rafael is awake."

"That's great news Amanda."

"Have you had the Huntington's test done yet." He asked

"Yes, the doctor took the blood and told me it will take 21 days for the results."

"Don't worry about the results until they come in Amanda. In the meantime focus on getting yourself and getting Barba better." He said as he hangs up the phone.

"That was Amanda?" Asks Liv and she and Fin walk into the Captains Office.

"Yeah, Barba's awake"

"That's great news" says Liv.

"Now all we have to do is get a written confession out of him." Says Fin as all 3 of them stare at Amaro sitting in interrogation.


	21. Chapter 21- Amanda and Rafael Head Home

Chapter 21

Olivia and Fin walked into interrogation. Nick was sitting there hand cuffed to the table with a piece of dressing on his forehead where he had tried to kill himself.

Olivia sat down at the table while Fin set up the camera and stood against the ledge by the 2 way mirror by the door.

Almost a minute of silence passed until Amaro asked "Is he dead?" without making eye contact with Liv or Fin.

Fin knew it was time to bluff otherwise they might never find out the truth

"You're lucky Barba survived otherwise you would be looking at a double homicide." Said Fin coldly.

Wait, your saying Amanda's dead?"

Fin just returned stared out Nick, not flinching a muscle, just staring.

"No, that can't be right, you're lying!" he said as he tried to get up from the table he was shackled to.

"No Nick, we aren't lying, he was rushed into surgery but she died on the table." Said Olivia

"No, No! This wasn't supposed to happen! She wasn't supposed to die. I just wanted her with me. If Barba was out of the picture I knew she would come back. He said as he struggled through the tears.

Olivia turned around and looked at Fin as they heard a tap on the glass, they exited out of interrogation. "We're not going to get anything more out of him right now." Said Olivia.

"I've already got a call into Dr Lindstrom, he'll be here soon." Said Cragen.

45 minutes later Dr Lindstrom arrived at the squad room and he was escorted into see Nick.

"Nick, what happened? I was getting regular updates from Dr Bell and everything was on track everything was going well?

Nick sat there in silence for a couple of minutes before responding. "I don't know." He said as he refused to make eye contact. "Something just snapped inside. I just knew I had to see her again and then it's all a blur."

"Alright Nick, give me a minute." He said. As he was exiting the interrogation he could hear Nick mumbling to himself. "I didn't mean to kill her. I didn't mean it, tears started to stream down his face.

Dr Lindstrom met up with the Captain, Liv and Fin outside interrogation. "I've spoken to him, he's in denial, depression. He can't be responsible for what he has done, he has a mental illness."

"He knows what he did, he knows what he did was wrong, he deliberately escaped from a psych ward, he kidnapped an ADA, he shot and ADA and a cop!" said Liv.

"Look, get him in front of judge for arraignment. But I can guarantee that the fact that he just escaped from psych ward will be all the ammunition his defence attorney needs to get him sent back to a high security psych ward. If you take this trial, he'll plead not guilty by reason or mental disease or defect and he will be sent to the psych ward for treatment." Said Lindstrom as he walks out of the squad.

Liv walked back into the interrogation. "Alright Amaro, it's time for you to go to arraignment." She said as she uncuffed him from the table and led him to transport down the courthouse.

30 minutes later he was back in court at arraignment. "Nicholas Amaro, the charges are kidnapping, unlawful and attempted murder. How do you plead?"

"Guilty, by reason of mental disease or defect your honour."

"The defendant will be remanded to Bellevue Psychiatric Ward.

"Your honour, we request that the defendant be remanded to a more secure facility. The charges come as a direct result of the defendant escaping from Bellevue.

The judge looked at Amaro. Very well. I remand the defendant to LaGuardia Psychiatric where he will receive medication."

We also request a 730 exam to determine whether his condition is a contributing factor in these charges." Said the ADA.

"There is no need for a 730 exam, your honour. We will stipulate that the defendant suffers from a mental disorder."

I agree with the defence, no 730 exam will be ordered. Take the defendant into custody."

Nick was taken to transport to LaGuardia where he would start treatment,

_**Cut Back to Rafael and Amanda**_

After being in the hospital for 8 days after he'd woken up Rafael had grown more frustrated by the day. Amanda was sitting by his bedside she hadn't told him about the pregnancy or the possibility that she had Huntington's

"How much longer do I have be here?" He said as he shuffled around in his bed.

"Rafael, you got shot and woke from a coma a little of a week ago." She replied

"I know, I just hate lying around, and not doing anything I like to be productive." He sighed

"I know you do. Look let me ask the doctor if you can come home, back to your apartment I mean."

Amanda went off in search of the doctor as Mrs Barba came into the room.

Rafael, ¿cómo te sientes? (Rafael, how are you feeling?)

Me siento mejor mamá, pero yo quiero ir a casa. No puedo conseguir ningún descanso en estas camas de hospital. (I feel better mum, but I want to go home. I can't get any rest in these hospital beds.)

Amanda found Rafael's doctor. "Hi I'm Amanda, I'm Rafael's partner, he's getting a bit frustrated, being here, he wants to go home.

"He just woke up from a coma, a week ago!" he said.

"I know, but he's doing better he's moving around and I will be there and his mum will be there to look after him. I think if he is in his own place, it will aid his recovery alot better than being here, Where he is not sleeping and not actually resting."

"Alright. I'm going to give you specific instructions, he bandages need to be changed often, he needs to take the medication and rest as much as possible. If he gives any trouble."

"He won't have you met his mum, she'll put him in his place" she said as smiled the doctor chuckled."

"Alright let me draw up the discharge paperwork and get you his medication."

"Thank you" she said shaking his hand. Amanda headed back to Rafael room. As she entered she saw Mrs Barba talking to Rafael in softened tones.

"Sorry to interrupt Mrs Barba."

"That's okay Amanda."

"I have good news. I have spoken to your doctor and convinced him to let you go home."

"That's great, but I am sensing a but." He said

"Well you're very perceptive" she joked.

"Well you and your mum are coming back to my apartment. The doctor is giving us strict instructions and you have to come in a week to follow up."

"Wait, you're apartment and what did you mean by us?"

"Well me and your mum and yes my apartment." Amanda leant to down to Rafael's ear. "I can't face your apartment right now Rafael, not after what happened."

"I understand" he said smiling as he kissed her on the cheek. "I'm happy to be getting out of here though.

30 minutes later Rafael, Mrs Barba and Amanda were heading to her apartment she was feeling better but she was still winded after helping Rafael up the couple of stairs.

"Here we go" she said as they entered her apartment.

"Hey Amanda?" Rafael yelled out

"Yeah"

"I've been in the hospital for a while and I could really use a shower."

"Sure, but since this is first time upright take a chair in there with you and sit down if you feel winded."

"Amanda" Rafael started to say

"Hey, do you want me to take you back to the hospital or are you going to play nice." She said

"You know me. I never play nice." He winked.

Even after he gets shot, he's still a smart ass Amanda thought to herself!

She picked up the chair as put in the shower as she helped undress him.

Rafael turned on the wáter and stepped into the shower. "Are you sure you don't want to join me."

"Hmmm, maybe next time" she said as she stood at the door of the bathroom.

"Hey, can we talk when you're feeling up to it?" she asks.

"Is everything okay" he asks.

Amanda stayed silent.

"Yeah, we can talk when I get out of the shower."

"Thanks" she said as she returned to the living room.

10 minutes later Rafael was out of the shower and Amanda was helping him get dressed. His mother had brought over some sweat pants and shirts for him to wear.

Amanda and Rafael settled in on the couch.

Mrs Barba walked into the lounge.

"Rafael, hijo, tienes que comer algo. (Rafael, son, you need to eat something.")

"No soy mamá hambre" (I'm not hungry Mama) said Rafael as he waved his hands.

Usted necesita conseguir tus fuerzas.  
Amanda ha estado tan ocupada cuidando de ti y de mí asegurarse de que están bien y se olvida de sí misma. Voy a ir al mercado y tomar algo y voy a cocinar, está bien! (You need to get your strength up. Amanda has been so busy looking after you and me making sure we are okay and she forgets herself. I will go to the market and grab something and I will cook, okay!)

"Bueno" (Okay) He said as his mother left the apartment for the market.

He looked at Amanda. "I learnt long ago not to argue with my mother" he said as he smiled.

"Thank you for taking me and mother in, I know it's alot, especially after what you went through." He said

"It's okay. I'm happy to have both of you here."

"You wanted to talk?" he said as he took a drink of wáter.

"Yeah, Uh when I was brought into the hospital they ran some tests. I'm 8 weeks pregnant Rafael" she said.

"You're….pregnant." he said

"You're pregnant" he smiled as he hugged her.

"You're happy?" she asked

"Of course" he said. Aren't you?

"I hadn't planned on getting pregnant, I had never planned for kids Rafael."

My mother had Huntington's disease, it's a terminal brain disorder, it's passed from parent to child."

"Wait, are you saying that you have this disease? That you are dying?"

"I don't know? After my mother died from it. I hadn't thought about it, until I found out I was pregnant! I had a test done to find out if I had it."

"And?"

"And I still have to wait another week for the results."

"Why didn't you say anything Amanda? You wouldn't have had to go through this alone."

"I didn't want to think about it Rafael, the fact that I might be dying. I wanted to spend my time being happy, being with you."

"Come here Mi Amor. It'll be okay, we will tackle this together." He said as he pulled her close.

"Please don't say anything to your mum until we know for sure." She said

"I won't I promise." He replied.

Amanda snuggled into his body falling asleep in his arms.

Chapter 22 to come

Please leave reviews guys, let me know what you think


	22. Chapter 22- Amanda's Results

Chapter 22

Over the next week Mrs Barba was taking care of Rafael and Amanda letting them heal up and re-cuperate. Suddenly Amanda's phone rang. "Can I speak to Amanda Rollins please." Said the voice

"This is Amanda Rollins."

"Ms Rollins my name is Dr Carter from the hospital I have your Huntington's test results. When can you come to the hospital."

"My partner Rafael and I have a check up at the hospital scheduled for this afternoon at 12.30pm."

"Come to my office at 1pm. It's on Level 5 of the hospital. We will talk more then." He said as he hung up the phone.

"Amanda?" Rafael called out.

Amanda walked about in the room. "Uh, can I talk to you for a second?"

"Sure." He replied. "What's wrong?"

"That was the doctor calling re my Huntington's test results, he wants to see me at 12.0 after we've been checked out."

Tears started to well in her eyes. Rafael brushed the tears away looked Amanda square in the eye. "No matter what news we get today Amanda. I will be there for you, we will tackle it head on. Together."

An hour later Rafael and Amanda were at the hospital getting their wounds checked from the shooting. Everything looked good and they headed up to Dr Carter's office. They stood outside the door. Amanda, who was normally a strong person, couldn't move to open the door. Rafael grabbed her and squeezed and knocked on the door.

"Come in." came Dr Carters voice.

Amanda didn't say a word. Rafael stepped forwarded extending his hand. "Hi I'm Rafael Barba, Amanda's partner and this Amanda" he said signally towards.

"Hi Amanda, good to meet you." Said Dr Carter.

"The ER doctor tells me you're around 8 weeks pregnant. How are you feeling?" Any morning sickness, nausea?"

"No I surprisingly feel okay." "I'm just concerned that I have inherited the gene for Huntington's and if I have if I have passed it onto the fetus."

"Alright well let's take a look at you're test results." Dr Carter brought up Amanda's file and clicked into the test results. He read the test results and looked at Amanda.

"Alright. I've had a look at your test results and unfortunately it showing as positive for Huntington's."

Amanda dropped her head in her hands. Rafael put his hand on her knee.

"I'm sorry." Said Doctor Carter.

Amanda rose her head and made eye contact with Dr Carter and sniffled.

"How long do I have?" she asked as Rafael looked away

"We need to run some more test to determine that Amanda."

"How much at risk is my baby of getting this?"

"Your baby has a 50% chance of having Huntington's. We can do a genetic test to see whether the baby has it."

"Yeah please run the test. If the baby does have it, how long will I have to decide to terminate."

"Terminate? You would terminate the pregnancy if the baby has it" Said Rafael

The doctor looked at Rafael and then looked at Amanda.

"Yes I would seriously consider it Rafael. I watched my mother die a painful death from it. I know what is in store for me and I would never want anyone else to experience that."

They all sat in silence for a couple of seconds until Dr Carter spoke.

"You don't have to decide right now Amanda, we can wait until the tests come back and make the decisions then. In the mean time I we will head down the hall into the exam room so that I can take a sample and run the test and I'll also organize for test to determine what level your Huntington's is at."

Amanda looked off into the distance as the Doctor was relaying all this information.

Dr Carter moved in front of Amanda.

"I know this is a lot to process. I know that you have Rafael. Do you have any other family here?"

"No and I can't rely on them anyway." Said Amanda as her mind jumped to Kim.

"There is also a support group that meets here at the hospital. I really think you would benefit from going Amanda."

Amanda just nodded.

Dr Carter and Amanda went down the hall and into the exam room while Rafael waited outside. 20 minutes later Amanda emerged from the room with Dr Carter.

"I'll put a rush on the results and have them back in 5 days Amanda."

"I've organized your tests for the day after tomorrow Amanda. If you have queries or questions please call me. I'll see you in 2 days for your tests." Said Dr Carter

Amanda and Rafael headed out of the hospital and caught a cab back to her place. Amanda sat in silence for most of the cab ride home replaying the conversation she had with the Dr. The words "Your test is showing positive for Hutington's" just kept repeating in her head.

They arrived back at Amanda's apartment and Mrs Barba was waiting for them to say goodbye to her before she left for the airport for her flight back to Miami.

"Mamá, gracias por venir y ayudar a cuidar de Amanda y yo." (Mama, thank you for coming and helping take care of Amanda and me.)

"No es ningún problema Rafael, usted es familiar Amanda es la familia. Familia se ocupa de la familia" (It is no problem Rafael, you are family Amanda is family. Family looks after family)

"Rafael, cuidar de ella. Ella es una mujer fuerte y ella pondrá en un frente fuerte, pero ella también es delicada. Cuida de ella, cuidarla." (Rafael, look after her. She is a strong women and she will put on a strong front but she is also delicate. Look after her, take care of her)

Rafael pulled his mother in for a hug and said. "No te preocupes mamá yo quiero" (Don't worry Mama, I will)

"Amanda, rest, let Rafael help you and get better and I will see you again soon" said Mrs Barba

"Don't worry Mrs Barba. I will" she said as she hugged Amanda

"I'm just going downstairs to hail Mum a cab. I'll be back in a second." Said Rafael

Amanda nodded.

Rafael put his mum in cab and headed back up stairs to Amanda.

He sat down on the couch where Amanda was and said "Do you want to talk about today."

"What's there to talk about. I'm dying." She said as she got up off the couch and walked over to the wall.

Rafael followed her. "We will get through this together. You are not alone in this Amanda."

Amanda turned around. "I know. I just need some air, to take all this in."

Rafael knew she needed some time alone. "Do you want me to come with you?" he asked knowing full well he knew the answer.

"You're not 100% yet. I won't be long. I just need to take a walk wrap my head around this. I'll be back soon."

Rafael watched as Amanda exited the apartment. He felt completely hopeless that he couldn't do anything to help the women he loved.

_**Bit of a sad chapter. Please, please review, let me know what you think**_


	23. Chapter 23 - Amanda's Testing Time

Chapter 23

Amanda headed out of the apartment to clear her head. She knew that Rafael was doing his best to support her and be there for her, but it wasn't going to change the fact that she was dying.

Amanda headed out and found herself in Central Park and was wandering through when she came across a crime scene. Olivia spotted Amanda walking through Central Park and came over to her.

"Rollins" Olivia yelled out as she walked over to her.

"Hey Liv." She replied as she looked up and saw her coming over to her.

"How are you doing Amanda? Are you healing up okay? How's is Barba doing?"

"We are doing okay. Barba's mum left today to go home to Miami. She's been helping us out."

"You got a case?" she said as she looks over to the crime scene.

"Yeah we do." Olivia replied

"Anything you need a hand with anything" she asked

"You know that you can't do that, you're still on medical leave."

"Yeah I know, I just want to get back to a normal routine and back to work."

"Barba driving you that crazy huh?" She chuckled

"He's been really great; his mum was great taking care of us. I'm just used to taking care of myself you know." Said Amanda.

"I know." Replied Olivia. "I better get back. Can't leave Fin alone for too long"

Amanda chuckled. "Well tell him I said Hi."

Amanda continued on her walk through Central Park, stuck in her own head. She was still trying to process all the information she was given by the doctor but it was just sentences going through her head. "You have Huntington's. You're baby has a 50% chance of having Huntington's. You're dying"

Amanda took a seat in the park near where some children were playing. She looked at them and smiled. She had this tiny life growing inside of her. She was exited but nervous and sad at the same time. If she decided to go through this pregnancy she would never get to see her child grow up, she would miss important milestones in its life. Tears started to run down her face. Amanda pulled out her cell and called Rafael.

Rafael answered the call. "Amanda, are you okay? You've been gone for a couple of hours."

"No, not really. I know you're not feeling 100% but can you come to Central Park. I'm near the playground.

Not long after Rafael arrived at the playground a little out of breath. Amanda got up and helped him over the bench where she was sitting.

After catching his breath back Rafael said to Amanda. "Hi, what's going? Why are we here?" He asked as he looked over at the kids.

"I'm scared Rafael. I don't know the first thing about being a mother and my family, one half is nuts with addictions and the other half carries the gene for terminal disease. Even if the baby doesn't have Huntington's and I really hope it doesn't. I don't really think I'm mother material."

Rafael looked at Amanda. "Hey, you're not in this alone. I'm not going anywhere. We (Rafael emphasizes this by pointing to the 2 of them) are in this together. You don't have to face of this alone. Amanda you're stronger than you give yourself credit for. You got through your childhood with your dad's gambling addiction, you got yourself into the police academy and have become a highly decorated detective, you got through and out the other end of your own gambling addiction you survived an ex-boyfriend who stalked you, blackmailed you into a hostage situation, shot you, you've been diagnosed with a terminal disease and you are still standing Amanda. You are one of the strongest people I know. I think you are going to be a great mother Amanda and you are going to have me, my mother, and my family, your family to help you though." Said Rafael as he grabbed her hand and squeezed.

Amanda looked at Rafael with tears coming down her face. "Thank you" she whispered as she tucked her head into his chest as they sat in the park taking in the surroundings.

An hour later Amanda and Rafael where exiting the park hand in hand when they ran into Olivia and Fin who were leaving the park after finishing up at the crime scene.

"Amanda" Fin yelled out, which stopped Amanda in her tracks, she turned around and smiled when she saw Fin.

Olivia and Fin walked up to greet Amanda and Barba.

"Barba, I didn't recognize you out of your 3 piece designer suits, as Barba was wearing a polo shirt, trackies and joggers.

Fin went into hug Amanda, but paused. "You okay if I hug you?"

"Wouldn't have it any other way Fin." Said Amanda as Fin hugged her. "Although I wouldn't be hugging Barba, he's still a little delicate. I can't have you breaking him. I still need him."

"How are you two healing up?" Asks Fin

"We're good. Barba's mum just left to go back to Miami. She's been great, helping us out and helping me out looking after Rafael."

Fin looked Barba. "You're not giving Amanda a hard time are you Barba."

"I wouldn't dream of it Detective." Said Barba

Olivia piped up. "We better get back to the squad. Good to see you guys are on the mend." They all said their goodbyes and departed their separate ways.

Amanda's appointment at the hospital came quickly. She spent most of the day at the hospital having scans and neurological tests done. Finally the end of the day came and Amanda found herself sitting in Dr Carter's office.

"Hi Amanda, how are you doing today?"

"I'm good. I'm a little nervous to know the results."

"Well let's not keep you waiting any longer then." He said as he brought up her file on the computer.

"Okay, well the good news is that you currently symptom free from Huntington's, even though you are carrying the gene, you currently not showing any symptoms. The problem that we have with this is that we can't currently determine when the symptoms will appear. We do know that with Huntington's a high number of patients with this condition usually have their symptoms start appearing in early forties. Depending on the severity on the onset of the symptoms the time frame is usually between 6-8 years."

"Amanda, you are young, you take of yourself, you eat right, you train, which will help your body stave off the symptoms of Huntington's as long as possible." Amanda nodded.

"Now I know you want to know whether you have passed on the Huntington's gene to the baby. I know that you have been stressing about the results, which isn't good for you or the baby. I ran the test myself and I can say that your baby does not have Huntington's. "

Amanda smiled and breathed a sigh of relief. "That is great news thank you."

"I've got referral here for you to an obstetrician here at the hospital, and we will work together to get you through your pregnancy safe and sound."

Amanda thanked Dr Carter and headed back to her apartment where Rafael was waiting.

He heard the door open and yelled from the kitchen. "Hey, how did you go today?"

"Where are you?" she yelled

"Kitchen, just cooking." He said

Amanda made her way through apartment to the kitchen.

"Hi." She said as she kissed him.

"So how did you go today?" he asked as he stirred the food.

"Good. I had all the tests done and saw Dr Carter. He said the good news is that I'm not showing any symptoms, the bad news is that they can't determine when the symptoms will start. He also had some other news. He fast tracked the results of the test for the baby."

"And?" He asked but got no response.

"Amanda" he repeated as he turned around to see Amanda smiling.

"The baby doesn't have it, the test came back clear!" She said with a beaming smile.

"Oh My….that's great! He said as a came over to hug her.

"By the way my mother called while you were at the hospital today." It is my Abulita's birthday, they are having a party for her in Miami."

"When is her birthday and the party?"

"It's in 2 weeks down at my mother's place in Miami. She wants to know if we are coming"

"We?" Said Amanda

"Of course we, you and I?

'The rest of your family will be there?"

"Of course, it'll be a pretty big celebration."

Rafael saw the look Amanda had given him.

"It's okay to be nervous." He said with a smile.

"I'm not nervous." She said

Rafael shot Amanda one of those "I know you're nervous" looks

"Okay I am nervous. I mean I've met your mum, but that was one person, now I am meeting the whole family."

"Rafael smiled. "It's okay to be nervous, but I'll be right there with you. I haven't seen them in a while, so they will be fussing over me as much as they will you. Remember what I said, we tackle everything together head on."

"Alright, you've roped me into. Let's meet the family." She said.

Rafael grabbed his phone to call his mum.

"Hola mamá, Acabo de hablar con Amanda y los dos estarán llegando a la fiesta de la abuela." (Hi Mum, I just spoke to Amanda and we will both be coming to Abuela's party.)

"Eso es una gran noticia Rafael. Abuela será tan feliz de verte. ¿Cómo está usted y Amanda haciendo?" (That is great news Rafael. Abuela will be so happy to see you. How are you and Amanda doing? )

"Estamos haciendo una gran mamá. Tanto Estamos sanando bien y estamos casi listos para volver al trabajo" (We are doing great Mama. We are both healing up well and are almost ready to go back to work)

"Gran Rafael. Me tengo que ir, por favor, dar un abrazo Amanda para mí y decirle que espero verla pronto" (Great Rafael. I have to go, please give Amanda a hug for me and tell her I look forward to seeing her soon)

"Yo Mama, tener cuidado y saludar y dar mi amor a la Abuela" (I will Mama, take care and say hello and give my love to Abuela) Said Rafael as he hung up the phone.

Rafael walked over to Amanda and put his arms around Amanda. "What are you doing?" She asked.

"I'm just doing what my mother asked me to do as he kissed her.

Amanda broke the Kiss and looked at Rafael. "Your mother asked you do that, did she." She said.

"Yes, she did" He said as he kissed her again.

Amanda giggled as he continued to kiss her and his hands roamed over her curves.

_**Please, please review.**_

_**Let me know what you think!**_


	24. Chapter 24- Miami

Chapter 24

_**2 weeks later**_

After 2 weeks Amanda and Barba were resting up and healing Amanda and Rafael were all packed up and ready to head to Miami.

"You ready to go?" Rafael called

"Yeah I'm good to go." Said Amanda as she came out with 3 suitcases.

"Wow, we're not going for that long, are you sure you need that much stuff."

"I just want to make sure I have everything I could need and I like to have options Rafael." Said Amanda

Knowing better than to argue with Amanda Rafael said "Alright, alright, let's go, cabs waiting" Rafael and Amanda went down the stairs and headed to the airport.

3 Hours later Amanda and Rafael had touched down in Miami. When Amanda stepped out of the plane and out of the terminal and it was like she had stepped into Little Havana, from the music to the people speaking Spanish. She had stepped into a mini Cuba.

Rafael hailed a cab and conversed with the driver in Spanish as they headed to his Mum's place.

30 minutes later they arrived at his Mum's house. Rafael's mother had been waiting for them to arrive for last 30 minutes when she had seen that their flight had landed. She ran out to greet them as she saw them pull up in front of the house.

"Rafael! Rafael! Así que me alegro de verte, ven aquí" (Rafael! Rafael! So good to see you, come here) Rafael put down his luggage and hugged his mum, they finished hugging a couple of minutes later as his mum saw Amanda

"Amanda!" Said Mrs Barba as she pulled Amanda into her welcoming her with a big hug. "Now tell me, has my Rafael been taking good care of you Amanda?"

"He has, he has been taking very good care of me." Said Amanda with a smile.

"Well come in, come in" Said Mrs Barba as Amanda and Rafael picked up their bags and followed Mrs Barba into the house.

"Amanda, you and Rafael will be in Rafael's old room. Rafael can show you."

"Come on, this way" Said Rafael as he walked towards his old room and opened the door. It was like someone had frozen Rafael's room in time. It didn't look any different than what it did when he left home at 17 to go to College.

"Nice room" Said Amanda with a smile on her face.

"Come on I can't be responsible for the choices for this room when I was 17."

"The physical evidence is damning enough Counsellor. I don't think there's any coming back from that." Said Amanda with a smile.

Suddenly Barba's mum's voice came echoing up the stairs.

"Rafael, Amanda, café is ready."

"Café?" Queries Amanda

"She means coffee." Smiled Rafael

"I can't drink coffee because of the baby. I don't want to be rude." Said Amanda

"Just tell her you don't drink coffee and I'll have yours."

Amanda smiled and they went downstairs.

Rafael, café, just the way you like."

"Gracias Mama."

"Amanda, café?"

"Gracias, but I don't actually drink coffee. Would you have any tea?"

"Of course. I make you tea. Rafael, you can drink her café. Si?"

"Si Mama."

Mrs Barba made tea for Amanda and they all sat down around the table.

"Mi Amor, lo que ha estado sucediendo con ustedes desde que salí de Nueva York? (Mi Amor, what has been going on with you since I left New York?)

"Rafael looked Amanda. "Both" he said. Amanda nodded.

"Mama, we have some news for you. ("Amanda y yo tenemos algunas noticias.")

"Mrs Barba, after we were shot and we were in the hospital I found out I was pregnant."

Mrs Barba smiled got up around the table to hug both of them. "Felicidades a los dos. ("Congratulations to you both.). "Ay, tengo que llamar a su abuela, su tía, primos tío. Serán tan emocionada Mijo" (Ay, I have to call your Abuela, your aunt, uncle cousins. They will be so excited Mijo."

Amanda started paniking. "What did she say?" Amanda asked as she looked at Rafael."

"She wants to tell Abuela, my aunt, uncle, cousins. Don't worry. I've got this." Said Rafael

"Mamá, mamá! Sé que su emocionado, pero Amanda y yo pensé que sería bueno para anunciarlo mañana cuando toda la familia está aquí. (Mama, Mama! I know your excited, but Amanda and I thought it would be nice to announce it tomorrow when the whole family is here.)

"Sí, sí Rafael. Lo siento, soy tan feliz a un nieto." (Yes, yes Rafael. I'm sorry I am just so happy a grandchild.)

"Mama, Amanda and I have something else to talk to you about. Amanda." Said Rafael as he motioned across to Amanda to take the lead.

"When we found out I was pregnant I wasn't sure if I wanted to go through with the pregnancy. I had never thought about having children."

"A new child is a wonderful blessing Amanda, why would you not want to have children?"

"My mother died of a terminal brain disease called Huntington's Disease. It is genetic. Before we decided if we wanted to continue with the pregnancy I asked the doctor if both myself and the baby could be tested. My test turned up positive. I have this disease."

"Rafael, ¿qué está diciendo Amanda, ella se está muriendo? (Rafael, what is Amanda saying, she is dying?)

"Sí mamá, pero no en este momento, es posible que no para de venir algún tiempo. El médico no puede decir cuándo. Ella no muestra ningún síntoma, pero cuando lo hace ella puede tener 5 o 6 años dejaron" (Yes Mama, but not right now, she may not for some time to come. The doctor can't say when. She is not showing any symptoms now, but when she does she may have 5 or 6 years left)

"I am so sorry Amanda. The baby is okay?" She asked with a serious look

"The baby is healthy and doesn't have the disease."

"Is there anything you need Amanda? Anything. You are familia, remember."

"Gracias. I really can't rely on my family. We were wondering if you wouldn't mind helping us when the baby is born and afterwards we would love to have you stay with us to help in the couple of weeks after the baby is born."

"I would love to Amanda."

"Thank you we really appreciate it."

Suddenly a voice came from the front of the house. "Lucía, ¿estás ahí." (Lucia, are you there?")

"Mamá, estamos aquí." (Mama, we are in here.")

"¿Quién está contigo Lucia? (Who is with you Lucia?")

"Rafael está aquí Abuela. Él y su compañera Amanda llegó para su cumpleaños." (Rafael is here Abuela. He and his partner Amanda came for your birthday.)

Lucia's mother came into view and Amanda saw Rafael's grandmother's face light up when she saw him he jumped out of his chair and hugged his grandmother.

"Rafael, es tan bueno verte mijo. Aléjate a menudo. Te echo de menos. ¡Tienes que venir a casa más a menudo" (Rafael, it is so good to see you mijo. You stay away to often. I miss you. You need to come home more often)

"Abuela, tú sabes que te echo de menos. Sé que tengo que volver más a menudo. Estoy tan feliz de verte. Te he extrañado mucho" (Grandma, you know I miss you. I know I need to come back more often. I'm so happy to see you. I've missed you so much)

"Abuela, hay alguien importante para cumplir lo que quiero que conozcas. Se trata de Amanda" (Grandma, there is someone important to meet that I want you to meet. This is Amanda). Said Rafael as she introduced Amanda to her.

"Very nice to meet you." Said Amanda.

"She doesn't speak much English I'll translate"

"Muy bonito conocerte"

"Ay muy agradable conocerte Amanda. Haces que mi Rafael feliz?" (Ay very nice to meet you Amanda. You make my Rafael happy?)

Rafael translated for Amanda. Amanda grabbed Rafael's hand and squeezed and smiled. "I love Rafael. I love your grandson. We have some news. I'm pregnant. You are going to be great grandmother."

Rafael translated "Me encanta Rafael. Me encanta su nieto. Tenemos algunas noticias. Estoy embarazada. Usted va a ser bisabuela."

"Usted está teniendo un hijo. Esta es una noticia maravillosa Rafael. ¡Enhorabuena! Esta es la mejor nueva que podía oír en mi cumpleaños Rafael" (You are having a child. This is wonderful news Rafael. Congratulations! This is the best new that I could hear on my birthday Rafael)

"She says she is excited to become a great grandmother and said it was the best birthday present she could have ever gotten." Said Rafael.

"Well everyone will be arriving soon, we better get ready." Said Rafael

Rafael took his Abuela's hands and said "Abuela, la familia va a llegar pronto. Amanda y yo vamos a estar listos." (Abuela, the family will be arriving soon. Amanda and I are going to get ready.)

"Vaya, vaya Rafael, te veré y Amanda pronto" (Go, go Rafael I will see you and Amanda soon)

Rafael smiled and took Amanda's hand and left to get and get ready.

"You didn't tell her about the Huntington's." Said Amanda

"I wanted her to be happy about the baby. We can tell her later."

Amanda nodded and got ready.

An hour later Amanda and Rafael heard the rest of Rafael's family arriving more each minute. Rafael grabbed Amanda's hand looked at her. "Are you ready to meet the family?"

"Let's do it." Said Amanda with a smile.

_**Please, please review. Let me know what you think about this Chapter!**_


	25. Chapter 25- Meet The Family Part 2

Chapter 25

Amanda and Rafael walked outside to meet the rest of Rafael's family. As soon as his family saw him and Amanda they rushed over. First his Aunt and Uncle then his cousins, his brother and sister.

"Ay Rafael. Le hemos echado mucho de menos. Deja que te mire" (Ay Rafael. We have missed you so much. Let me look at you) Said his Aunt as he took his hands in hers.

She smiled. "Siempre te ves tan bien Rafael. Cada vez que te veo, te ves mejor y mejor" (You always look so good Rafael. Everytime I see you, you look better and better)

"Tía, tío hay alguien que quiero que conozcas. Se trata de Amanda." (Aunty, Uncle there is someone I want you to meet. This is Amanda.)

"Very nice to meet you Amanda. You must be very important to our Rafael. It has been a very long time since he has brought someone home." Said his Aunt with his Uncle their kids; Rafael's cousins, his brother and sister

Rafael pulled Amanda close. "She is very important to me Tia, I love her." He said as he kissed her temple.

Arturo; Rafael's brother came up to him. "Hola, Rafael lo que está pasando." (Hi, Rafael what's going on.) He said pulling him into a hug.

"Todo, no ha estado pasando mucho. Pero podemos recuperar más tarde. Este es mi compañero Amanda" (Everything, there's been alot going on. But we can catch up later. This is my partner Amanda)

"Ah the famous Amanda, we finally get to meet." Said Arturo as he pulled her into a hug.

Amanda chuckled. "Nice to meet you to Arturo."

"This is our sister Amara." Said Arturo as he gestured to his sister.

Amara stepped foward. "It's great to meet you Amanda. You must be very special to my brother. He's never brought anyone back to meet the entire family. He must love you very much Amanda."

Amanda smiled. I love him as much as he loves me." Rafael smiled.

"Amanda I'm going to see Abuela I'll be back soon. Arturo look after for her me?"

"No te preocupes Rafael, ella está a salvo conmigo" (Don't worry Rafael, she is safe with me) he said with a smile.

Arturo turned to Amanda. "Come on, it'll give us a chance to know each other better." He said as he walked with Amanda to go and sit down.

Rafael walked over to his Abuela. "Abuela. Sé que esto es tu cumpleaños, pero hay algo importante que quiero preguntar Amanda y yo quiero tu bendición para pedir esto hoy con la familia aquí" (Abuela. I know this is your birthday, but there is something important I want to ask Amanda and I want your blessing to ask this today with the family here)

Abuela smiled. "Tienes mi bendición mi amor. Vaya, vaya" (You have my blessing Mi Amor, go go.)

Amanda and Arturo had been talking for only a couple of minutes before Rafael came back.

"That was fast Rafael. Scared of what I told her, like your obsession with the Wiggles."

Rafael looked at Amanda. "He told you about the Wiggles." Amanda smiled. "He did."

"Come on. All the families here and Abuela wants us with her, plus I can't have Arturo telling you anymore stories otherwise you might leave me."

Stories are that bad huh."

"I'm pleading the fifth on that one Detective."

Amanda laughed and smiled.

"Come on Amanda. You too Arturo. Can you translate for Amanda, please" He said as he grabbed her hand.

Rafael and Amanda walked over to Abuela. Rafael stood up to address his family.

"Bienvenidos a todos. Es genial estar de vuelta en Miami y para ver a todos ustedes. Gracias por venir juntos para celebrar el cumpleaños de la abuela usted." (Welcome everybody. It's great to be back in Miami and to see all of you. Thank you for coming together to celebrate Abuela's birthday.)

Everyone clapped.

"Algunos de ustedes tienen satisfacer a mi pareja Amanda que está hoy aquí conmigo. Tenemos algunas noticias para compartir con todos vosotros." (Some of you have meet my partner Amanda who's here today with me. We have some news to share with you all.).

"Rafael bent down. "Can you join me?" Amanda nodded and stood up next to Rafael and whispered something into Amanda's ear. Amanda smiled and nodded yes.

"Amanda y yo tenemos algunas noticias para compartir con ustedes. Recientemente nos enteramos de que Amanda y yo estamos esperando nuestro primer hijo." (Amanda and I have some news to share with you. We recently found out that Amanda and I are expecting our first child.)

"Everyone started clapping and yelling "¡Felicidades, ¡Felicidades"

Rafael looked and Amanda and smiled. "Their saying congratulations Amanda." Rafael said as kissed Amanda deeply.

"Hay algo más que deba compartir con todos vosotros." (There's something else I need to share with you all.) Rafael dropped down on one knee pulled out a small blue box and looked up Amanda. He could hear the excited whispers, but his focus was completely on Amanda.

Amanda couldn't believe what happening as she her hand came over her mouth with shock.

"Amanda, Mi Amor, when I first met you it felt like I had known you for 10 years not 1 day. We connected physically, intellectually. I knew from the first date that I wanted to be with to be with you. I want to be with you Amanda now and forever. I love you and I love our baby. Will you marry me?" He said as he popped open the box to reveal the ring.

The whole room was tense. Amanda was still in shock with one hand over her mouth. Tears started to run down her face, she slowly nodded yes and Rafael face lit up like she had never seen before.

"Yes, yes, of course I'll marry you Rafael. Rafael jumped up and kissed her deeply as the family erupted in cheers.

_**Hope you guys are enjoying the story so far. **_

_**Always love reading your reviews. Let me know what you think of this chapter. **_


	26. Chapter 26- Heading Home

Chapter 26

_**Hey guys, thanks for the reviews so far! I really hope you like the story. Please keep reviewing. I always love to read them!**_

After Amanda's acceptance of Rafael's proposal the energy of the party grew. All of Rafael's families were congratulating himself and Amanda on his engagement.

By the end of the night between the pregnancy and the party Amanda was exhausted. She turned to Rafael. "The party and the announcement and proposal, it's taken it out of me. Do you mind if I head up and go to bed?"

"Sure. Come on I'll walk you up." He said

Rafael turned to Abuela. "Amanda es un poco cansado después de la fiesta. Sólo voy a caminar al piso de arriba. Vuelvo en un minuto" (Amanda's a little tired after the party. I'm just going to walk her upstairs. I'll be back in a minute)

Amanda walked over to Abuela. "Feliz cumpleaños. Espero que hayan tenido una fantástica cumpleaños." (Happy birthday. I hope you had a fantastic birthday.)

Abuela smiled at Amanda. "Mi nieto se comprometió, que espera su primer hijo con la mujer que ama y voy a ser una gran abuela. No podría haber pedido un mejor cumpleaños" She said as she pulled her into a hug.

Amanda withdrew from the hug a couple of seconds later. "What did she say?" she asked

Rafael smiled. "She said that she could not have had a better birthday. I got engaged, we are expecting a baby and she gets to be a great abuela. It was the best birthday she could have asked for"

Amanda smiled as she and Rafael headed upstairs. "Get some rest okay. I'll be up soon." He said as he kissed her.

Rafael headed back down stairs to have coffee with his Abuela and Mama.

"Amanda estas dormido?" (Amanda is sleeping?) She asked

"Sí, creo que el partido llevaba a cabo aquí" (Yes I think the party wore her out."

"Ella no es el único Rafael. Me voy a casa" (She is not the only Rafael. I am going home) Said Abuela as she got up and moved to the door where Arturo was waiting.

"Felicidades Rafael, en su nuevo bebé, su compromiso. Estoy feliz por ti y estoy emocionado llego a ser un tío!" (Congratulations Rafael, on your new baby, your engagement. I'm happy for you and I'm excited I get to be an uncle!) he said as he pulled Rafael into a hug.

Arturo left with Abuela as he went upstairs and crawled into bed next to Amanda as he wrapped his arms around her Amanda shuffled back into Rafael as they drifted off to sleep.

The next morning Rafael woke to find Amanda already up. He could hear her in the bathroom. Morning sickness had finally taken hold. She came out of the bathroom looking a little worse for wear and saw Rafael waiting for her.

"Are you okay? ' He asked with a look of concern

"Morning sickness, your daughter has decided it was time to give me morning sickeness."

"Daughter?" he said with a smile

"I let that slip huh." She said with a smile.

Rafael hugged her. "We're having a daughter!" he said as he laughed.

"Can we not tell your mum or Abuela. I thought it would be a nice surprise for them after the babies born. What do you think?"

"I think that's a good idea. We keep it to ourselves for now."

Amanda smiled and nodded.

They packed up their things and Rafael brought the suitcases down the stairs with Amanda walking behind him. They saw Rafaels mum, Abuela and Arturo waiting for them in the living room.

Amanda stepped and hugged Rafael's mum and Abuela.

"Thank you for having us stay here. We had a wonderful time. I hope you had a wonderful birthday."

Rafael moved towards Abuela. "Feliz cumpleaños Abuela. Gracias por tener Amanda y yo aquí. Fue genial estar aquí y ver que usted y la familia y compartir nuestras noticias con usted." (Happy Birthday Abuela. Thank you for having Amanda and I here. It was great to be here and see you and the family and share our news with you.) Said Rafael as he hugged her.

"Cuida de ella Rafael y me prometer que va a volver y visitar más a menudo y llevar a mi nieto para una visita" (Take care of her Rafael and promise me that you will come back and visit more often and bring my grandchild for a visit )

"Yo te prometo en ambos casos" (I will I promise on both counts) he said as he hugged.

Suddenly Artruo piped up. "Alright vamanos, vamanos, we have to go or they are going to miss their flight."

They all said their final goodbyes as they left the house and Arturo drove them to the airport.

They arrived at the airport. Amanda, Rafael and Arturo got out of the car as they unloaded the luggage. Rafael turned to face Arturo.

"It was great to see you hermano." Said Rafael as he pulled Arturo into a hug.

"Good to see you again to Rafael." He said as they withdrew from the hug.

"You take care of Amanda and my little niece or nephew. Entendías?

"Si, entendias."

"It was great to meet you Arturo. She said as she hugged him.

"It was great to meet you too."

"You look after him okay." He said

"Don't worry I will." She smiled.

They said their final goodbyes as they entered the airport and checked in.

"Are you ready to get back to reality?" He asked

"Ha, yeah. I'll be on modified desk duty when I get back because Cragen already knows I'm pregnant. But I still have to tell Olivia and Finn. "

"Do you want me to come with you when you tell them?"

"Sure, maybe we can do a dinner or something. We'll work it out."

"In the mean time when we get back to New York I was thinking we should start house hunting for a bigger place together."

"Really? She said with a smile

"Yeah of course, we're engaged. Engaged people normally live together and besides both of our apartments are too small for us and the little one and remember my mother is coming to stay after the baby is born. There is just not enough room."

Amanda smiled.

"What are you smiling at? He asked

"Nothing, just knowing you, you've probably already been to see a few places."

"I'm invoking my right to remain silent Detective." He smiled as he kissed her.

"I knew it!" she smiled

"Flight 131 from Miami to New York is now boarding, please make your way to the gate."

"Saved by the announcement" said Amanda

"And also my silence" Rafael smiled.

As they walked hand in hand onto the plane and heading back to New York to face reality.

_**Please review, let me know what you think**_

_**Next chapter Amanda and Rafael tell the team about her pregnancy. How will they react?**_


	27. Chapter 27- Welcome Back

Chapter 27

_**Hey guys, thanks for the reviews. I know it's been a while since I updated this story. I've been suffering from a little bit of writers block. Hope you enjoy and remember to please review!**_

Their flight arrived back in New York a few hours later. Amanda and Rafael walked out back into the musty air of New York.

"You ready to go home?"

"I'm ready to go back to my apartment and rest."

"We're not going back to your apartment." Rafael said and smiled. He put his hand out and hailed a cab.

"Wait, what?" She said as she looked at Rafael.

Rafael smiled. "Come on, in, in." He said as they jumped into the cab.

Rafael handed the cab driver an address and he nodded and started driving.

"Where are you taking me?" she asked.

"I have the right to remain silent." He said with a smile.

"You're really not going to tell me?" she asked

"Nope." He said

Amanda knew she wasn't going to get anything else out of Rafael. She moved over to Rafael's side as she curled up into his body. He pulled her in close and kissed her forehead.

Shortly after they arrived at a brownstone almost equal distances between their two apartments. Rafael paid the driver as he took their luggage out of the trunk of the car. They stood in front of the brownstone.

"What are we doing here?" she asked as she looked straight forward at the brownstone.

"We're here because we're home" He said

"Wait what?" She said as she turned around to face Rafael. "You bought a brownstone?"

"No I didn't buy it. I asked the real estate agent; who's a friend to hold the property until I'd had a chance to show you. Since we found out you were pregnant. I'd been doing a little apartment, house hunting by myself." I'd been to a lot of places, trying to find something that was close to both of our offices, near good schools and in a good neighborhood."

Amanda smiled. "So I was right."

Rafael rolled his eyes. "Yes, yes, you were right. Come on, let's go inside.

Rafael picked up the bags and Amanda grabbed her roller bag as Rafael unlocked the door. They walked inside into the foyer as Rafael and Amanda put their bags down. She walked into the spacious living area and looked around. It was beautiful. It had wooden floors, high detailed ceilings and large bay windows. Amanda walked through into the kitchen, into the bedrooms, bathroom s and all the other rooms in the house. She walked back into the living room to find Rafael waiting for her.

"I love it, this house is amazing." She said as she wrapped her hands around his neck.

"Really? He said as he wrapped his hands around her waist. "You're not just saying that to…" Rafael's sentence was interrupted by Amanda kissing him.

"No. I really love it. This place is amazing. Our new home." Said Amanda as she leant into Rafael's chest.

"Our new home." He repeated and kissed her forehead.

Rafael and Amanda had signed the ownership papers on the brownstone and over last couple of days and had been slowly but surely moving their items into their new home. It had come to the end of the week and they moved most of their small personal items, their clothes into their new home while the movers had arrived with their bulky items.

A couple of hours later the movers had finished moving their items into their home and Amanda and Rafael relaxed on the couch looking around at their furnished new home.

"You look exhausted" Said Rafael.

Amanda turned into him. "I am exhausted; your daughter is a lot of work."

Rafael smiled and pulled Amanda into him.

Amanda had fallen asleep on the lounge. Rafael moved out of the way, laid Amanda's head down on a pillow and covered her up with a blanket and headed into the nursery; a project he had been working over the past week; to put on the final touches. Rafael smiled as he stood at the door admiring his work.

Meanwhile Amanda stirred to find Rafael missing from the couch. She rubbed her eyes as she tried to wake herself up. She grabbed the blanket and wrapped it around herself and walked through the house looking for Rafael. As she walked through the house she could see a light coming out from one of the rooms. As she got closer she could see Rafael standing by the door frame. She walked up to him.

"Hi"

"Hi" he said as he kissed her temple. "What are you doing up?" he asked

"I woke up and you weren't there. I thought that I would come searching for you. What are you doing up?"

"I was actually putting the finishing touches on the nursery." He said

Amanda smiled. "Really?"

"Yeah. Come on." He said as he opened the door.

Amanda stepped inside to see the completed nursery. "It was painted a beautiful lilac colour. It had pictures of Amanda and Rafael together, toys, clothes and even a crib."

Amanda smiled. She turned to Rafael. "Wow, you really are the perfect man. I can't believe it! You did all this?"

Rafael smiled and nodded. Amanda kissed Rafael as they stood in the entrance way of their daughter's room.

_**Cut to Monday Morning- Amanda and Rafael's first day back at work**_

Rafael and Amanda had spent their first weekend in their new home as an engaged couple. They were running around both getting ready for the first day back at work.

Amanda came out of the bedroom looking rushed as Rafael was sitting down with a coffee in one hand and a newspaper in the other. "If you move any faster I'm going to start calling you "The Flash." He said as he took a sip of his coffee.

"Funny." She said as she shot him a look. "I'm running late. I can't be late for my first day back." Said Amanda as he put some tea into a go cup and started to walk towards the door.

"Before you go I was thinking we could have a house warming party slash pregnancy announcement slash engagement announcement."

"Sure, that sounds great. When were you thinking?"

"How about Friday night?"

"Sure sounds good. I'll tell the guys at work. I got to go. I'll see you tonight." She said as she kissed Rafael goodbye and headed out the door.

_**Cut to the Squad Room**_

"Benson!" yelled Cragen. "It's Rollins; first day back today isn't it."

"Yeah Capt" said Benson, who was at her desk filling out paperwork.

"Let me know when she gets here."

"Will do." Said Olivia

20 minutes later Rollins entered the prescient. She was greeted by a smiling Olivia, who came over and hugged her.

"Welcome back Rollins."

"Thanks Liv.

Amanda saw Fin enter the squad as she hugged Olivia.

Fin wasn't one to smile much, but when he saw Amanda his face lit up. "Welcome back Amanda." He said as he pulled her into a hug.

"Thanks Fin."

Cragen was standing at the door of his office, watching his Detectives welcome Amanda back. "Rollins" he said as he motioned her into his office.

Amanda followed Cragen into his office.

"How are you doing Amanda?" he said as Amanda took at seat opposite Cragen.

"I'm happy to be here and I'm ready to work Capt."

"How is everything going with the pregnancy?"

"It's going surprisingly good right now. No morning sickness, little bit sore, but I guess that comes with having a baby."

"Yeah" Chuckled Don. "Now you know you're on desk duty from now until the baby is born."

"Yeah I know Capt."

"Any news about your Huntington's Test results?" Asked Cragen

"Uh yeah. I found out that I tested positive and I do have Huntington's. The baby doesn't have it. Her test came back clear. The good news is that right now I don't have any symptoms; they can't really do anything for me until I start having symptoms. I just have to keep myself, happy, healthy, physically fit which will help when the symptoms do hit."

"I see. I'm sorry Amanda. We'll do everything we can to help you through."

"Thanks Capt."

"Alright, I'll let you get settled in. Welcome back Rollins." Amanda smiled and got up to walk out.

"Oh Capt, before I forget Rafael and I are having a gathering on Friday to celebrate. I'll send you the address. We'd love it, if you could make it."

"Wouldn't miss it Amanda." Said Cragen as Amanda walked out of the office and sat down at her desk.

Liv and Fin came over by her desk as she settled in. "Oh guys, before I forget Rafael and I are having a gathering on Friday to celebrate. I'll send you the address. Can you both make it?"

Fin and Liv looked at each other. "Yeah, no shouldn't be a problem."

"Great." Smiled Amanda. She took out her phone and texted Rafael. "Capt, Liv and Fin are in for Friday."

Rafael read the text message and smiled. He put his phone away and walked into his office. Where everyone was lined up ready to welcome him back.

_**Please review guys; please let me know what you think of this chapter!**_


	28. Chapter 28- Dinner Party Revealed

Chapter 28

_**Hey Guys! I always love reading your reviews. Keep the coming! Hope you enjoy this chapter**_

Rafael had said worked his way through everyone and walked into his office 10 minutes later and sat down ready to get back to it when Jack McCoy knocked on the door frame.

"Welcome back Barba."

Rafael smiled and got up and walked over to McCoy extending his hand. "Good to be back Jack."

"Since you've had all this time off to recuperate I figured you'd want to jump right back into it. "

Rafael smiled as his assistant brought in a pile of cases that needed reviewing.

Rafael eyed off the pile of files that were being brought into his office. "Did anyone do anything while I was away?"

"We know how protective you get about your cases Rafael" Said Jack with a smile. "Well I better let you get to it. Said Jack as he started to walk out of Barba office.

"Jack! Before I forget Amanda, uh Detective Rollins and I are having a party Friday night, kind of welcome back to work we're not dead party. Are you free?

Jack shot Barba a look.

"It's just a dinner party Jack nothing sinister. So are you free Friday?"

"Yeah, sure. Should be fine."

Great" Said Barba as Jack left his office and Rafael started on his case reviews.

At 6pm Rafael arrived at home with case files in hand to find Amanda standing the kitchen cooking dinner.

"Amanda?" yells Rafael

"In the kitchen" she replies

She spots Rafael enter case files in hand. "First day back and you're already bringing home work? That's not good." She said.

Rafael smiled, put down the files and walked over to Amanda and wrapped his hands around her until they rested on her bump.

"Well I might have brought them home with me, but that doesn't necessarily mean any work will get done." He said with a smile as he kissed her neck.

Amanda turned around to face Rafael, of course you're going to work. It's who you are. I hate to say it but the only way you'd relax would be if you got shot again." Said Amanda.

Rafael just looked Amanda.

"What you know it's true." She said. "It's not a bad thing. It what makes you good at what you do."

Rafael smiled and kissed Amanda.

"Alright go, sit, work, dinner will be ready soon." Said Amanda

Rafael smiled and picked up his work and sat at the table. "Oh by the way I spoke to Jack. He is good for Friday night."

"Great. Olivia, Fin and the Capt are all in for Friday as well."

"You nervous?" he asked

"I'm excited to tell them." Smiled Amanda.

_**Cut to Friday**_

"See you at 7?" she asked as she picked up her things, gave them her new address and turned to head out of the squad.

Olivia, Fin and Cragen all nodded.

Amanda smiled and head home.

20 minutes later Amanda arrived home to find Rafael in the kitchen cooking, while putting final touch everything.

"Wow, this looks great." She said as she stepped in to see the table set and Rafael in his apron cooking the final stages of the meal. "You've really gone above and beyond on this one. You must be really nervous. She said as she smiled as she walked over to him and kissed him.

"I'm not nervous" he said as they broke the kiss.

"Really? Do I need to present exhibit A to you counsellor?" She said drawing attention to everything he had done to her opinion over prepare for the dinner party. "I think the evidence speaks for itself."

Rafael who was never normally lost for words, stood silently.

Amanda smiled. "You could plead guilty now or take your chances with the jury, the jury being me." She said and she undid the apron letting it drop to the floor and started to unbutton his shirt.

"Hmmm and what's exactly is this plea deal your offering?" he asked as Amanda moved her hands and pushed his shirt off causing it fall to the floor.

"Well I..." Suddenly Amanda's expression changed. "Do you smell something burning?" Rafael and Amanda both started sniffing the air.

"Crap the food!" Said Rafael as he rushed over to the stove.

Amanda looked over to the clock. "Oh my god, they're going to be here soon. I better go and shower change. Are you right in here?"

Rafael waved his hands. "Yeah, yeah I'm good, go." He said as Amanda rushed off to shower.

Rafael finished up cooking and went in the bedroom to change.

15 minutes later Amanda came out with her hair left loose with soft curls wearing a dark blue loose fitting dress which help disguise her baby bump.

"You look beautiful Amanda" he said as he walked over to her with a smile that stretched ear to ear on his face and kissed her as the door bell rang.

"Are you ready?" he asked

Amanda smiled and nodded as the opened the door to find Fin, Olivia, Cragen and Jack standing there.

"Hi everyone, come in, come in." Said Rafael as he and Amanda stepped aside.

"Nice place" Said Jack.

"Thanks."

"Some wine." Said Olivia as she handed the bottle to Amanda.

"Thanks Liv."

"Don, Capt" Said Barba and Amanda as they welcomed him into her apartment.

"Fin!" Said Amanda as she hugged him welcoming them into their new apartment.

"So things seem to be going good. You moving in together."

"It is" Said Amanda nodded and smiled.

Everyone was now inside the apartment and had drinks in their hands.

"Don't we get the grand tour Barba?" Said Jack.

"Not until after dinner Jack. Take a seat everyone. Dinner is served." Said Barba as he brought over everyone's dishes.

Small talk took over the table as everyone ate their meal.

As they all took the last bites of their dinner Rafael cleared his throat as they all turned to him. "Firstly I just wanted to thank you all for coming tonight for this house warming."

"You should have told us that this was what it was, we would have bought something." Said Liv.

"It's okay, it's kind of combination of a few things." Smiled Rafael.

Don smiled, he knew what was coming.

"While Amanda and I were off recuperating it was Abuela's birthday and after the shooting I realised how much I loved Amanda and I asked her to marry me."

"Wha.." Said Fin and Olivia at the same time.

Amanda stood up. "And I said yes." She said with a huge smile that came across her face.

Everyone got up and offered their congratulations to Amanda and Rafael.

"Congrats Barba, Amanda." Said Jack.

"Congratulations Rafael, Amanda." Said Olivia as she pulled them into a hug with a big smile on her face.

Next Don approached the engaged couple. He extended his hand to Barba. "Congratulations" he said with a small smile. "Congratulations Amanda."

"Thanks Cap." She said as he started to make way for Fin. "Uh Capt. I was wondering, since I don't have any family here. I wanted to ask if you would give me away."

Cragen smiled "Of course. I would love to" he said as he pulled her into a hug.

Last but not least was Fin. Fin usually had the one expression of perpetual anger. He approached Rafael; who was a little nervous he knew how close they were. He stood in front of Rafael and smiled. "Congrats Barba." He said as he pulled him for a hug. "Just don't hurt her, otherwise I will run your ass down." He said as they withdrew from the hug.

Rafael smiled. "Thanks Fin."

He moved onto Amanda. "I can't believe you didn't say anything."

"I just wanted to see your face Fin" She said as she smiled and hugged Fin.

Suddenly Rafael's voice came out of no-where. "Alright, time for the tour." Rafael led them through the house as they entered the lounge room, bedroom (which caused some, "Is this where there magic happens" quips from Fin, to which neither Amanda nor Rafael simply smiled) and then finally the nursery. Rafael opened the door and their 4 guests walked in. They took in their surroundings when Liv said

'This is a nursery. Are you pregnant? She asked as Don, Jack and Fin turned to see Amanda's reaction

Amanda smiled and nodded. Cheer erupted from the nursery. They all rushed Amanda to wish them congratulations on the new baby, the new house and new engagement.

As the night came to and end everyone was leaving. They all wished Rafael and Amanda congratulations again as they left. Rafael closed the door behind Fin who was the last one out and basically collapsed against it.

"Remind me to never agree to a dinner party again."

Amanda laughed. "Don't tell me that tired you out."

Rafael nodded.

"Just a reminder, we have a baby on the way, there is going to be nights alot worse than this."

Rafael smiled. "True."

"Come on. I'll help you clean up and then we can crash."

Rafael and Amanda finished cleaning up and were headed towards the bedroom. "I hope you're not too tired.

"Mmm, why is that."

Amanda turned to face Rafael and walked towards the bedroom "Well it's just these pregnancy hormones are making me crazy horny and I was hoping you could help me out." She said with cheeky smile as she slipped out of her dress.

"Mmm, that I think I can do." He said with a smile as he followed her into the bedroom

_**Please review guys. I always love reading them! Let me know what you think!**_


	29. Chapter 29 - Welcome to the World

Chapter 29

_**Thank you guys for all the follows so far and reviews. I really appreciate it. I plan on re-introducing Nick soon, so definitely keep an eye out for that! Let me know what you think on this new chapter**_

Amanda had her back to Rafael as he entered their bedroom. Rafael smiled as Amanda was standing there in lace bra and panties, bump on display. She looks very sexy when she's pregnant, she's practically glowing, he thought to himself.

Amanda lifted her hands up her back to unclip her bra but before she could Rafael came up behind her and stopped her, he kissed her hand as he wrapped his hands around her as his kisses started to move her neck. Amanda moaned as she arched back into him. Rafael smiled as he used his hands slide down the straps of her bra causing her shiver. Rafael smiled as he continued to kiss her soft supple alabaster skin as his hands moved up and over her shoulders and down her back, unclipping her bra. Amanda smiled as Rafael's lips once again connected with her skin. She could feel his hands slide back over her shoulders and down her breasts and onto her bump. Amanda smiled. She grabbed onto his hands that were now resting on her belly and moved them off to either side of her as she turned around to face him.

"What are you…" he started to say as Amanda backed up to the bed and shot Rafael a cheeky smile.

He smiled back as he walked over to her. Amanda leaned back onto the bed as Rafael dropped to his knees and knelt in between her thighs. He could feel the heat that was coming off Amanda. He smiled as he started to kiss her thighs. The feeling of Rafael soft lips against her skin caused Amanda to moan softly. Rafael smiled as started kissing her higher and higher on her thighs, each time his lips connected with her soft supple skin caused Amanda to moan and arch into Rafael. Her hands started to roam her own body; she started massaging her breasts as Rafael continued to kiss his way up her thighs soon reaching her panties. He kept kissing her as he hands went down to the waist of her panties as he pulled them over her creamy thighs and threw them off to the side.

Barba ran his hands back over her milky thighs as he kissed his way back up her thighs teasing her. Then he heard Amanda whisper breathlessly "Stop….teasing….can't….wait…"

Rafael smiled as he used his fingers to part her lips as he dove his tongue into her. Amanda moaned as Rafael start to work her up and down her slit. Amanda's breathing started to get shallower as she closed her eyes, reached down and ran her hands through Rafael's hair enjoying the pleasure that he was giving her.

Rafael felt her getting wetter and wetter. He slid his tongue up and down teasing her. He felt Amanda lean back and push herself further into him. He moved his hands to her hips as he moved his tongue and found her sweet spot. Amanda moaned. "Oh yes, yes, right there. Mmmhmm." She said as Rafael started making circles with his tongue right on her sweet spot.

"Oh my…"Wha..what are you..that feels…wow…Rafa…Oh my g…Yes…oh right there…don't stop.." She said in between breaths as hers started to quicken. Rafael could feel how wet she was getting and he started concentrated on her g spot.

"Oh yes, mmmm, right there….Yes….Yes…I'm cu"

As Rafael started to feel Amanda shake he picked up the pace of the circles, causing her to orgasm hard.

Rafael smiled as his kissed his way to her thighs and then her stomach which was sporting a small baby bump. Amanda sat up and smiled at Rafael who was still on his knees caressing her stomach.

"You are amazing, incredible" She said as smiled.

Rafael smiled. "I love you Amanda."

"I love you too." She replied

"And I love you." He said as he kissed her stomach.

"You're talking to the baby?" She asked

Rafael nodded and smiled

Amanda smiled. "Come on Romeo, time to sleep."

Amanda and Rafael lay down next to each other happy and dreaming about what had just happened and the little bundle that was their daughter.

_**6.5 Months Later**_

Amanda was on bed rest at home while Rafael was in court. While Rafael couldn't take time off to be with her, Fin had offered to stay and keep her company and look after her.

"How are you doing Amanda?" Asked Fin who was sat in the arm chair across from Amanda who was sitting on the couch.

"My back and hips are killing me. But I guess that comes with carrying around a baby for 9 months." She said as she smiled

"Just remember you're going to be carrying her around for a lot of years to come."

"I keep remembering you've been through this."

"Yeah I have, but girls are a whole different time to boys."

Amanda smiled. "Yeah" she chuckled.

Amanda tried to get comfortable but she was just too sore to find any position comfortable.

Fin got up, walked over and sat behind Amanda.

"What are you doing?" she asked

"Helping." He said and he massaged her lower back with his hands.

Fin had been massaging Amanda's back for a couple of minutes and finally some of the pain started to subside.

"How does that feel?" Asked Fin

"Amazing, finally some relief. Where did you learn to do that Fin?"

"That's a secret Rollins. Can't tell you." He said as he chuckled. "Let me guess Barba not one to work with his hands."

"Fin!" she exclaimed.

"What!"

"He does just fine thank you."

Amanda suddenly felt a wet sensation.

"Uh Fin?"

"Everything alright?" he asked as he continued to massage her back.

"I think my water broke."

Fin got up off the couch. "Okay, you got a bag packed?" he asked as he picked up and jacket and got a coat for Amanda.

"Yeah, it's by the door."

"Can you get in touch with Barba?"

"I'll call Liv, and ask her to find him. My first priority is you. You understand?" he asked.

"Amanda nodded. "Yeah."

"Come on, let's go." He said as he opened the door and helped Amanda into the car and took off down to the hospital.

They arrived at the hospital 20 minutes later and approached the desk. "Can I help you?" asked the girl

"My name is Amanda Rollins I'm pregnant and my water broke and I think I'm going into labor."

"Alright. I'll get you a wheelchair and we'll get a doctor to see how dilated you are okay?"

"Yes, thank you." She said as her breath started to quicken.

The young girl came out with a wheel chair and helped Amanda into it and wheeled her through into the ER and found her a bed. Fin helped Amanda get settled.

"Do you have a Doctor or midwife here at the hospital?"

"Yes. Uh Dr Macey."

"Okay, thank you. I'll get in touch with her now. In the meantime, try and relax and breath and if anything changes please let one of the nurses know."

"Thank you" Smiled Fin

"Have you found Barba yet?"she asked

"I'll call him now. I'll be back in a second okay."

Amanda nodded as Fin stepped outside and dialed Barba's number.

"Voicemail damn it. Barba, it's Fin, you need to get your ass down to the hospital. Rollins water broke, she's in labour."

Fin dialed Olivia's number. "Fin, what's going on?"

"Liv, I need you to find Barba. His phone's going to voicemail. Amanda's water broke, we're at the hospital."

"I'm on it Fin, keep me updated." She said as she hung up the phone.

"Ahhh" yelled Amanda. Fin hurried back into the room.

"Amanda, talk to me, what's going on?"

"I think I'm having contractions." She said as she tried to breathe at the same time.

"Alright, let me find where that doctor is." Said Fin as he walked out of the room.

Fin walked up to the nurses station. "Excuse me Miss, I'm Detective Tutuola my partner Detective Rollins was brought in, she's pregnant, her waters have broken, she's already having contractions."

"How long since her waters have broken?" she asked

"Maybe about an hour?" Said Fin

"It's rare, but it can happen where shortly after the water breaks the body wants to go straight into labor."

"How long til she has the baby, her fiancé isn't here yet."

"We'll check her, but it sounds like the sooner he gets here the better. I'll follow up to see where her doctor is at."

"Thank you." Said Fin as he turned and started to walk back to Amanda's room.

"Detective" Said the nurse. Try and keep her calm and breathing."

"I got it." Said Fin as he continued back to Amanda.

"Hey, any news on Barba." She said as she tried to control her breathing.

"Liv's getting him and bringing him here."

"I can't have the baby before he gets here."

"He'll be here Rollins, relax, breathe and focus on me."

Amanda took a few deep breaths while looking at Fin.

"Thanks for being here Fin." She said

"Anytime Rollins, you know I got you." He said

Amanda smiled and continued to breathe.

_Meanwhile Barba was in court and his phone was switched off. Liv rang his office trying to find out where he was at._

"Carmen, its Detective Benson, do you where Barba is?"

"Yes Detective, he's in court, he will be all day. Is everything alright?"

"Yes. What case is he working?"

"Uh, Menedez"

"Great, I'll catch him at the court house, thanks Carmen." She said as she hung up the phone and headed towards the court house."

Olivia arrived at the court house shortly after and ran up the stairs and into the lobby, she looked outside each courtroom and finally found the one she was after. She slipped in the back and walked up and tapped Barba on the shoulder.

"Liv? Is everything okay? Is Amanda okay?"

"Her waters have broken and she's in the early stages of labor. Fin's with her in the hospital."

Barba turned back to face the judge. "Your honor, I need to request a recess."

"Mr Barba, we're in the middle of a trial."

"Excuse me your honor. I'm Detective Benson SVU and Mr Barba's fiancé has been taken to hospital. I'm here to escort him there

"Alright, recess granted."

Barba started to pack up things.

"Mr Barba." Barba stopped and looked up. "If you are not back by tomorrow, please ensure that another prosecutor is briefed on the case and ready to go tomorrow. 9am.

"I will your honor. Thank you." He said as he and Olivia hussled out of the court room and court house.

"Have you heard anything from Fin?"

"No, don't worry we'll be there soon and you can see her and your new baby." She said as she smiled.

Barba smiled and got in the awaiting car and headed with Liv to the hospital.

20 minutes later they had arrived at the hospital. Barba was so anxious to see Amanda that he almost didn't wait for Liv to come to a complete stop before dashing out of the car and into the hospital.

He ran up to the front desk and was greeted by the same girl who had greeted Fin and Amanda earlier. "Hi my name is Rafael Barba, my fiancé Amanda Rollins is pregnant, she was admitted a couple of hours ago."

"Come this way Mr Barba. Ms Rollins will be glad you're here." She said as she smiled and opened the gate and led Barba to see Amanda.

Amanda and Fin were chatting as Rafael walked in and walked over to Amanda and kissed her. "Hi" he said

"Hi" she replied.

"What's going on?" he asked

Amanda and Fin filled him in about what had happened.

"We're gonna be here for a while, contractions are still about 15 minutes apart."

"Okay, well I'm going to go and find some coffee and organize a new DA to take over the Mendez case." Rafael looked at Amanda who was glowing at this point and asked. "Is there anything you need, anything you want?"

"I'm good thanks hon. I have everything I need right here." She said as she smiled.

"Fin? Anything?"

"I'll take a coffee if you find some." He replied.

Barba smiled. "Alright. Oh and Fin?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for being there for Amanda today and for me."

"Always." He replied with a smile.

Rafael smiled softly.

Over the next 15 hours Amanda's labor was more and more intense culminating in the arrival of their daughter.

The nurse passed Amanda her, her beautiful new born daughter.

"Welcome to the world Ivelisse Barba." She said as she smiled and cradled their new born with Rafael right by her side.

_Meanwhile at LaGuardia Psychiatric Nick was in session with his psychiatrist_

"Nick, how are you today?"

"I'm doing good." He replied.

"You're still taking your medication."

"Yes I want to get better." He said

"Good. As part of the recovery process you need to face up to what you have done and apologise to those you have hurt.

"You're talking about apologizing to Barba.

"Yes. I believe that you are at the point in your recovery that you can deal with this and that you can deal with apologizing to him Nick.

"What if he doesn't accept it? I killed Amanda." He said in unsure tone

"You're right Nick, he may not accept it, but my point is that you have owned up to what you have done and you're taking responsibility for it.

Nick sat and thought for a few minutes before responding. "Alright. Yeah I can do this."

"Good I'll schedule the appointment."

"Alright, that's enough today. In the meantime I want you to sit down and think about what you're going to say when you see him."

Nick nodded and got up and left as the psychiatrist rang Barba's home phone and left a message on the machine.

"Mr Barba. My name is Dr Viaz. I'm treating a Nick Amaro. As part of his recovery he needs to face up to what he has done, which includes yourself and Detective Rollins. Could you please return my call at LaGuardia Psychiatric to discuss this further."

Back at the hospital Rafael and Amanda were happily doting on their new born daughter completely unware of the message that was left on their answering machine, a message that could ruin the perfect day.

_**Please please review guys, let me know what you think!**_


	30. Chapter 30 - Ivelisse Meets the Squad

Chapter 30

_**Hey guys I'm in the process of winding down this fanfiction. They'll be one more chapter after this to wind things down. Thanks for support and reviews for this story! Hope you enjoy it. **_

After a couple of days in the hospital Rafael and Amanda headed home with their new born daughter.

"Oh wow, it feels so good to be home." Said Amanda as she walked through the threshold of their home with her daughter as Rafael carried their gifts and Amanda's bags behind her.

"I know it does." He said as he put his bags down, and walked over to kiss his daughter and smiled.

"I'm gonna check and see if there are any messages." He said as he walked over and hit play as the message came over the speaker.

After the message finished playing Barba and Amanda stood silently as Ivelisse started to fuss.

"What are you gonna do?" Asked Amanda

"After what he put me through, and you.' He said as he pointed at Amanda. "I mean look I understand why he needs to do it, but I just..."

Amanda walked over and kissed Rafael. "I know, I know" She said softly as she caressed his face, while Rafael looked adoringly. "If you really don't want to go through with this I can call Dr Viaz and tell him that you can't go through with it and you want it left in the past and you want to move on."

Rafael ran his hand over his face. "I um I need some time to think about this."

"Yeah, yeah of course, sleep on it, take a couple of days." She said as she kissed him. "I'm going put Ivelisse down and then I'm gonna try and get some sleep before she wakes in a couple of hours."

"Alright" He said as he kissed his daughters forehead. "Love you." He said. "Love you" He said as he kissed Amanda.

"Love you too." She said as she smiled as she walked away to put the baby down and headed to lie down.

Rafael sat thinking about the message from Amaro's doctor. Was he really ready to forgive and forget? Did Amaro deserve forgiveness after what he did to his family?"

Barba knew he had some decisions to make. He ran his hand through his hair deciding the best thing to do would be to sleep on it. He got up and walked down the hall stopping by the nursery on the way and smiled at his daughter before continuing to the bedroom where he saw Amanda crashed out. He smiled and crawled into bed and nestled into Amanda and headed off to sleep.

The next morning came around quicker than he expected. He woke up to find Amanda sitting on the edge of the bed with their daughter.

"Mmmm, morning." He said as he groaned as he continued to wake himself up and smiled. "Mmm, great way to wake up with my two favourite girls." He said as he slid down to the edge of the bed and kissed them both good morning and they headed into the kitchen.

Amanda started cook breakfast as Rafael held his daughter.

"So uh, have you thought about the Amaro situation?" She said as she tended to breakfast.

"Yeah, things are going really well right now, with you and me and I have our daughter to think about. You two are my world. I just want to keep you safe."

Amanda served the breakfast and walked over to the table and sat down next to Rafael. "Hey, nothing is going to happen to me or our daughter. But talking to him, making him take responsibility for what he did. He needs to do it. He needs to get himself better."

Rafael smiled.

"What are you smiling at?" She asked.

"You, you are amazing." He said

Amanda smiled and kissed Rafael and their daughter.

"So call Dr Viaz and set up an appointment." She said as she picked up Ivelisse. "And we, we are going to go say hi to everyone at the squad, aren't we, yes we are." She as she smiled.

_An hour later Amanda and Rafael had gotten the baby and themselves ready and were heading out the door. _

Amanda dropped Rafael of at his office, as he turned to walk Amanda called out to him. "Hey, don't forget to call Dr Viaz."

Rafael smiled. "I will. I love you guys."

"Love you too." She said as she smiled and headed onto the Squad arriving 15 minutes later.

Amanda walked into the squad with Ivelisse in her arms and was greeted by Fin, Olivia.

"We decided to come for a visit." Said Amanda as they gathered round to see Ivelisse. "Do you want to hold her?"

Liv nodded. "She's beautiful Amanda, congratulations."

"Congrats Rollins" Said Fin. "So, how is Barba doing with everything, he's not leaving everything up to you is he? Cause if he is I'mma come down there and kick his ass."

Amanda chuckled. "All good Fin, Barba has been amazing. Uh by the way there is something I wanted to talk to you guys about."

"Sure what is it?" Asked Liv as she rocked Ivelisse.

"We got a call from Amaro's psychiatrist at La Guardia.

Fin and Olivia exchanged looks. "What did he want?" She asked.

"He's working his program, he's on meds and getting better, and as part of his recovery he has to face what he's done. He has to face Barba and I."

Fin and Liv looked at each other. "What, what was that look for?"

"Uh Rollins Amaro thinks you died on the operating table after you were shot, he doesn't know your alive. It was the only way to keep you safe." Said Fin

"Wow, uh I didn't know, thanks guys."

"Anything for you Rollins." Said Fin as the Captain walked back into the squad to see Rollins standing there.

"Rolllins's welcome back. This must be your daughter."

"Her name's Ivelisse Capt."

Cragen smiled. "She's beautiful. Congratulations Amanda."

"Thanks Capt." She said as carefully took back Ivelisse. "We better keep moving. Thanks for the heads up Fin. We'll see you soon." Said Amanda as they said their goodbyes as Amanda headed out of the squad room and got in the car and headed for Barba's office.

_15 Minutes later they arrived Barba's Office. _

"Look who came for a surprise visit." She said as she walked into see Barba with his nose a file."

"Ah, my two favourite girls." He said with a smile as he got up to greet them as they sat down on the sofa.

"I just came from the squad room and saw Liv and Fin and I told them about Amaro."

"And?"

"And they told Amaro that I died on the operating table, he doesn't know I'm alive."

Rafael inhaled.

"What did Dr Viaz say when you called him."

"I uh I haven't had a chan.."

"You didn't call did you?" She asked

"No"

"Look as I said this morning. I know your worried about my safety the babies safety, but we're fine, he is locked up and he thinks we're dead." It's one day, one conversation."

Rafael nodded and pulled out his phone and dialled Dr Viaz's number.

"Dr Viaz, please. It's Rafael Barba calling regarding his patient Nicholas Amaro."

A few seconds later Dr Viaz picked up the phone. "Mr Barba, thank you for calling me back. I am correct in saying you are calling set up what we talked about in the message I left for you."

"Yes, yes I am."

"Okay, How does 3 days from now at 4pm work for you?"

"That will be fine."

"Great. I'll see you then."

Barba hung up the phone and turned to Amanda.

"Thank you for doing this." She said.

Barba smiled and nodded. "Yeah."

_**Please review guys. I Am winding this story up next chapter. **_

_**Thanks for all the support. **_


	31. Chapter 31 - Apologise

Chapter 31

_**Hey Guys, thanks for the support with this story. This will be the last chapter in this story. Thanks for the continued support. I hope you like it. Remember to review and let me know what you think!**_

The day of the meeting with Amaro had finally arrived. He couldn't believe the days had gone fast and Rafael had been getting more nervous as the day got closer, which didn't go unnoticed by Amanda.

She knew he was still in his office and decided to take Ivelisse and pay him a visit. As she walked through the doorway of his office she found him staring at himself in the mirror. Amanda stopped at the door frame and leant against it and smiled. She stood there watching silently before Ivelisse started to fuss causing Rafael to be turn to find Amanda staring and smiling.

"Hi" He said as he smiled and walked over to his fiancé and daughter. "How long have you been standing there?" He asked as he kissed Amanda.

"Long enough to know that you're worried about facing Amaro."

"I'm not worried." He said as he bent down to pick up Ivelisse.

Amanda looked at him as he nursed his daughter. "Rafael" She said. Barba looked up at her. He knew by now that if she used his first name the conversation had turned serious. "It's okay to be nervous. If had to face someone who shot me. I'd be nervous."

Barba smiled. "There's been so much build up to this over the last 4 days I guess I'm just ready for it to be done."

Amanda smiled. "Yeah I know. If I could be there with when you talk to him I would, but he thinks I'm dead."

"I know" Said Barba as he smiled.

"Alright, well we need to get going otherwise you're never gonna make it. Good luck we'll see you at home." Said Amanda as Barba kissed her and Ivelisse and they left the office.

Barba took one last look in the mirror before grabbing his jacket, picking up his jacket and started his journey to see Amaro

_Meanwhile Amaro was sitting in with Dr Viaz who was prepping him for his meeting with Barba. _

"I know that this meeting between yourself and Rafael isn't easy for you Nick. How are you doing with everything?"

"I'm uh nervous I guess." He said.

"He may not forgive you Nick. I need you to be aware of that possibility."

"I know. I know." He said.

"Dr Viaz started to speak before Nick cut him off.

"I just, I lost someone I loved too." He said as he sniffled.

Dr Viaz looked at Nick. "Alright, well your tests came back. I can see you've been taking your meds."

"How are you doing with them now?"

"Good, uh better."

"That's good." Dr Viaz as he made some notes. "Alright, is there anything you want to ask me about this meeting between yourself and Rafael?"

Nick sat and thought for a couple of moments. "Nah, nah. I mean it's one of the steps right. I have to own up to what I did."

Dr Viaz nodded his head. "Yes, that's right."

"He's not going to forgive me." Said Nick.

"For killing Amanda" Queried Dr Viaz.

Nick looked down and away. "Yeah, for killing Amanda (Nick pauses) and shooting Barba."

"The reason for this meeting Nick is for you to stand up and take responsibility, own your actions and apologise. He may not accept your apology. But the important part of this is that you own your actions, you take responsibility so that both of you can move forward." Said Dr Viaz.

Nick acknowledged what he had said as he nodded his head, not saying a word.

"Alright, well you've got a little time before he arrives, you can head back to the common room if there's nothing else you need to ask." Said Dr Viaz as he stood up.

Nick ran through everything his head before answering no.

"Alright, well I'll come and get you when we're ready for you Nick." He said as Nick got up and headed out of the office and headed towards the common room.

_Meanwhile Barba had arrived. He finished parking his car and looked at himself in the rear view mirror, staring back at himself. Amanda was right, he was nervous. Damn it why was he nervous he thought to himself. He's alive, he has a wonderful fiancé and beautiful daughter, his life is great. But he just couldn't shake the feeling. He took a deep breath and looked in the mirror one more time before opened the door and started heading towards the large brown building he saw in the distance. _

Arriving a couple of minutes later, he found his way to the reception area and asked for Dr Viaz, who appeared a couple of minutes later.

"Mr Barba" He said as he peered out into the waiting area.

Rafael looked up and walked over to Dr Viaz who motioned him through the double doors.

As they walked towards the common room to find Nick Dr Viaz spoke to Rafael about his meeting with Nick.

"I know that we went over the basics of what this meeting is about."

"Right yes. This meeting is about Amaro owing up to his actions. Confronting what he did. Apologising."

"Yes, that's right." Replied Dr Viaz. "Do you have any questions for me before we head into this meeting?"

Rafael thought to himself for a few seconds before responding. "I mean I have a few things to say to Amaro. I guess my question is whether there is anything off limits. I mean I'm still angry at him, but I don't want to do anything to disrupt his recovery and treatment."

"Mr Barba, Nick understands that you may not forgive him and I have already prepared him for that. The only thing I would not recommend is telling him that Amanda survived the shooting. He believes she is dead and is better for both of them if she stays that way."

"I understand" Said Barba as they reached the common room.

Barba scanned the room eventually spotting Nick sitting at a table across the room.

"Wait here" Said Dr Viaz as he stopped him from going any further.

Dr Viaz walked across the room and stood in front of Amaro. "Nick, it's time."

Nick turned in his chair and locked onto Rafael who was standing near the double doors. Amaro just sat staring at him. He was shocked. Even though Dr Viaz had told him he was coming Nick never believed him, not until he saw him standing across the common room from him.

"Nick are you ready?" He said as Nick hadn't moved from his chair.

"Yeah" he replied as he got up, not taking his eyes off Rafael as he started to walk towards him (with an orderly by his side as Dr Viaz strode ahead and meet up with Barba) and even though Barba wouldn't admit it to anyone Amaro's actions sent shivers up his spine.

_A couple of minutes they all sat in Dr Viaz's office. Nick who still hadn't taken his eyes of Barba sat silently along with Dr Viaz and Barba. _

"Nick?" Said Dr Viaz. "You know why you're here." He said.

"Yeah" Said Nick as he broke eye contact with Barba for the first time since he laid eyes on him. "I'm sorry for everything that happened. When I saw Amanda for the first time since the taskforce in the squad room (Nick smiled, he always smiled when spoke about Amanda, he remembered her smile, her laugh, her southern accent, everything about her made him smile.) I thought, I've been given a second chance with her. The one person I loved" Nick smiled and looked away from Barba who was sitting silently listening.

"Then she told that night at the bar when we first caught up, she told me, she thought she was falling for you and I told her, I told her to go and see you. At first it was about finding out who you were. I didn't want to see her with anyone else." Said Nick as he recounted the events that lead them here. "I saw her lying in your arms, she was happy, she was happy with you, not me and something inside me just snapped and I.." Said Nick as he struggled to find the words.

Rafael lent forward as he started to speak. "Amaro." He said in a stern tone as he tried to get him to focus. Nick looked up. "I understand why you did what you did. You loved Amanda and you wanted her to be with you. I get it. I loved her too."

Nick put his head in his hands as tears ran down his face. "Now, she's gone." He whispered to himself.

"Why did you stop taking your medication Amaro?" Asked Barba.

"I wasn't myself when I was taking it. I felt like I was a zombie. I wanted to feel normal. I could never get Amanda back if I wasn't myself."

Barba nodded. "I see."

Nick looked up at Barba through his tears. "I'm sorry for shooting you Barba. I was out of my mind off my meds. I just thought that if you were gone Amanda would be with me, but (Nick paused) I was wrong, she loved you not me, not anymore. I'm sorry, Lo Siento Rafael, Lo Siento." He said as he wiped the tears from his eyes.

Barba inhaled deeply. "I lost someone I love that day Amaro. I know that you were off your medication and that you saw red when it came to me, you saw me as someone who was standing in the way of you and Amanda being together. I only ever wanted her to be happy Nick and if you were what she had wanted I would have stepped out of the way."

Nick sat silently just listening to Barba.

"I had reservations about coming here today to see you Nick. I was nervous, angry, frustrated. I lost someone that I loved. (Rafael paused). I also realized that you lost someone you loved also." He said as Nick looked down and away from Barba. "Amanda did care about you as a friend, as a colleague and I know that she would want me to forgive you Nick. I forgive you for what you did, the photos, the assault, the kidnapping, the shooting (Rafael took a deep breath) Amanda's death."

Nick let out a sigh of relief.

"Amaro, you need to promise me and Amanda and most importantly yourself that you keep taking your medication, you work with the doctors to get better. I know that it's something that Amanda would you want for you. It's something I want for you as well. Entendies"

Nick nodded. "I will" he said as Barba and Dr Viaz stood up and stepped out of his office as an orderly escorted Nick back to the common room.

Waiting until Nick was out of earshot Dr Viaz turned to Rafael. "Thank you for coming here today Mr Barba. It will help Nick's recovery immensely. "

Barba simply nodded.

"I'll have someone escort you out." He said as he motioned for one of the orderly's over to escort Barba out of the building.

5 minutes later Barba arrived back at his car. He turned and took one last look at the large building and smiled softly before opening his car door, turning the engine over and drove away, looking at the building in the rear view, realising he could now close that chapter on his life. He smiled and laughed as he drove out the gates and back to his family, his future.

_Forward 6 months _

Amanda wasn't religious by any means but she had honored Rafael's wish to get married in a catholic church. Rafael smiled as he looked across from his radiant bride, who wasn't able to wipe the smile of her face. In full view of Rafael's family and Amanda's SVU family they said "I do". Apart from their daughter being born this was the happiest day of their life. They were both excited to be able to move forward into the future, together, a family, something that Amanda had longed for, she finally had.

_**Hey Guys, I am finishing the story here. I think it's a great place to end it. I hope you enjoyed it. Keep an eye out for my other stories. **_

_**Remember to please review!**_


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